Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Bachelorette 12x11 and 12x12 Roundtable: An Indecent Proposal [Contributors: Patti, Rae, Alisa, Rebecca, and Chelsea]

This season of The Bachelorette comes to an end as JoJo chooses Jordan to carry her off into the sunset — but not before Jordan made a mistake with JoJo's parents, and Robby was dumped right before he was about to propose. This week, we are lucky to have the fabulous and funny Patti Murin join the roundtable. See what Rae, Alisa, Rebecca, Chelsea, and Patti had to say about the finale.

Did JoJo make the right choice? Do you think she and Jordan will make it down the aisle?

Patti: NOOOOOO! She picked the narcissistic a-hole. I have never actually seen a single good quality in him. He’s not funny, he’s not charming, he’s not even thoughtful! I bet Jordan gets some sort of high-ish profile job, and gets high on the “fame” that comes with it, and within six months he takes inappropriate pictures of himself with lady fans, and that’s that. Boom.

Rae: Jordan is definitely the worst, and if he’s not talking to Aaron, JoJo might not even get Superbowl tickets out of this. But we all know that JoJo likes bad boys — and not bad boys in the sense of guys who wear leather jackets and look all broody, but in the sense that she actively chooses men who are bad for her. So, I am not too keen on this choice. But I hope the best for her, I guess? I do not think they will end up getting married, but I’ve been wrong before.

Okay, real quick though: what was the deal with Jordan calling proposing “getting down on a knee”? Is that a football thing?

Patti: It’s “take a knee” in football. So I think he’s just not very bright and is confusing “take a knee” and “get down on one knee.” What a dope.

Alisa: Ugh. I really don’t get the attraction to Jordan, other than as Rae said he’s a “bad” boy. He’s the type of guy who treats you poorly and then acts like he’s only giving you what you deserve. His manipulative, circular logic with why he didn’t ask JoJo’s father for her hand in marriage was awful. Like basically, “Well, JoJo, you didn’t do your part in making me feel confident in this so I’m not going to do my part and do the one thing that I said was the most important part of this whole thing for me.” Ooookay.

I think JoJo deserves happiness and puppies and unicorns that shoot rainbows out of their orifices, but I don’t think she’s gonna find that with Jordan. And was it just me, or did she look like she wanted to just crawl out of her skin every time Jordan kissed her or grabbed her hand during After the Final Rose?

Rebecca: No and no. I haven’t been Robby’s biggest fan — he’s too intense — but at least he’s sincere. Jordan seems like he skates by on his good looks, and it’s clear that he didn’t respect her family in the same way that Robby did. I finally figured out what bothers me about Jordan, by the way. He reminds me of one of those guys who peaks in high school.

Anyway, I knew from probably about the third week that she’d pick him, and I felt bad for the other guys (especially Robby) because I felt like she was just stringing them along. She’s wanted Jordan from the beginning. But the thing that got me was she literally said to Robby, “I wanted it to be you.” If you wanted it to be him... then, uh, why didn’t you pick him?! I don’t understand. But it doesn’t matter; JoJo and Jordan won’t make it more than a few months (at best).

Chelsea: Night one when my friends and I were making our brackets before the show premiered, I had Jordan winning this thing. That first kiss and him getting that first rose only reinforced my thinking he would win. I don’t think JoJo made a great choice if she wants to get married. Clearly guys like Luke, Robby, and Derek were ready for that kind of commitment. Jordan is definitely that jock you just want to have some fun with, then he tosses you away when he’s bored. I trust Olivia Munn when she doesn’t like a guy. There’s no doubt the two have chemistry, but he’s also so dang boring and obviously a big douche. He has all the red flags, and JoJo ignored every single one of them.

What do you think about Jordan and Robby asking JoJo’s parents for their blessings before they proposed?

Patti: Robby did it right, of course. He was sincere and sweet, and as genuine as you can be while asking a complete stranger for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Jordan was the worst. Can you tell I don’t like Jordan?

Alisa: Despite the fact that I don’t like the living Ken doll with the dead eyes, Robby did do a fantastic job asking for the parents’ blessing. Good on him. Jordan was obviously a complete disaster. If I knew anything about football, I’d insert a witty sports analogy here. But I don’t, so I’m just gonna say that calling up the folks after the fact, THE DAY YOU’RE GOING TO PROPOSE, and being like, “uh you two okay with this?” is lame. Lameeeee.

Rae: I think it’s a very kind gesture to talk to someone's parents before proposing, and I love that Robby included both JoJo’s mom and dad. But I still get some super weird vibes whenever people phrase it as “asking for permission to marry your daughter.” You guys are all adults! You don’t need anyone’s permission to get married! But I feel great about it when it’s framed as asking for their blessing and wanting to share how much they love someone’s child and want to be a part of their family. Robby’s conversation was very sweet, and he won me over a little bit during it — even though I think he’s about as exciting as watching his hairspray dry.

Rebecca: Robby was so sweet and thoughtful and polite. I would want my boyfriend to ask for my parents’ blessing the same exact way. And including her mother was so courteous. The fact that Jordan called her parents afterward seemed like a careless afterthought he had once he realized JoJo was pissed. If she hadn’t told him off, he probably wouldn’t have even done it.

Chelsea: He was the perfect gentlemen meeting JoJo’s family, and you know they’re heartbroken she chose Jordan over the sweet and kind Robby. While he also bores me to death, I think he did everything right to get to the final two, and JoJo might regret not picking him down the line. Personally, I don’t think a partner should have to ask the parents for permission for marriage, because it’s 2016 and children aren’t property, but it meant a lot to JoJo that her parents approved of her fiance. Jordan took his jolly good time getting that permission, but you know they had to create some sort of drama, so he could “redeem” himself and be a “surprise” winner.

Who do you think will be the next Bachelor, and will you be tuning in to watch?

Patti: Of course! As bad as I feel for Robby, he would be the most boring, cardboard Bachelor that has ever existed. There isn’t even potential for drama there. If I had to choose between Chase and Luke, I would pick Luke, hands down. BUT, I think the most genius choice is Chad. As explosive and unpredictable as he is, he’s the most honest human who has appeared on any of these shows. He’s hot, he’s quite possibly insane, and the girls would claw each other to death to get him. Call it Bad Boy Syndrome, but I think Chad could be a win for viewers, no matter what he does or says. Although after seeing his performance on Bachelor in Paradise, I don’t think that will ever happen. Mainly cause he is hopefully in rehab that includes intense therapy. So Luke is my pick!

Alisa: I have to totally agree with Patti on all fronts. Robby is a snooze fest. I would love to see Luke as the next Bachelor and I feel like he’s the fairly obvious choice. I mean, come on — he’s a war vet who lives on a horse ranch in Texas. That’s the back cover blurb for every southern romance book I claim I’ve never read. But the dark horse that is Chad would be a crazy, drama-filled, heck of a ride. And they could always hire Chad a therapist like they did for Brad Womack when he came back for seconds. Help him sort out all those ragey issues. Or, if the budget’s not looking great, just up Chris Harrison’s screen time and have him on the sidelines of each episode chanting, “Use your words, Chad! USE YOUR WORDS.”

Rae: You all know I am #TeamLuke, and I am not sorry. I want them to choose someone who is older and more mature and maybe actually ready for a good relationship, not just reality TV ready. I would watch even if it were Robby, but I’m not sure I could deal with a season of Chase. I already forgot everything about him.

Rebecca: You know I’d love to see someone serious about finding love, like Luke or James Taylor, but echoing what others have said, I’m rooting for Chad. I love the drama, I love the unpredictability. The show is becoming a little montone, but Chad would shake things up. I love to hate him.

Chelsea: Compared to Ben, Robby would be a party animal, but looking at all the guys, I would love for James Taylor, Luke, or Wells to be the next Bachelor. Chase is too much like watching paint dry. It’ll probably be Luke because everybody loves him and he’s such a sweetheart, but I would die if somebody fun like a Wells or James Taylor was up for it. Honestly, anything will be better than the snoozefest that was Ben last season.

Bonus question: Who is your dream hook-up for Bachelor in Paradise this season?

Patti: Nick Viall and a twin, except he’s not sure which twin it is, and the next day he has to figure it out without them knowing.

Alisa: I feel like Nick is going to flail around, desperately falling for every other girl who joins this season. Part of me really hopes that he catches Ashley I.’s eye and she turns her obsession from poor Jared in favor of chasing Nick all around the island. But in all seriousness, I was kinda excited to see Caila and Jared making googly eyes at each other in the preview. They seem like they could be really sweet together, though Caila honestly deserves way better.

Rae: Can we get Patti to produce this show? I am here for Wells and Ashley I., and I am seriously wondering when Nick will be uninvited from the Bachelor franchise for good. Maybe after he breaks Amanda’s heart? Hurting single moms who deserve love is like the number one no-no of the Bachelor world. I cannot believe two proposals come out of this season. Who will they be?!

Rebecca: Patti, your comment made me laugh out loud, and I need this to happen. I always root for the single moms on the show, so I hope that Amanda finds someone. All I know is I feel bad for whoever catches Ashley I.’s eye.

Chelsea: I would watch Patti’s version of this show. Having only watched Ben’s season and now JoJo’s, I have no idea what to expect from Paradise. I’ve been promised a hot mess and it better deliver. Real talk though, I’m still so worried for Lace. She needs some me time. And Amanda was my favorite from Ben’s season, so I hope she finds herself somebody nice and fun.


Post a Comment