Wednesday, June 22, 2016

The Bachelorette 12x05 Roundtable: L-O-V-E [Contributors: Alisa Williams, Chelsea, Rae Nudson]

The first L-bomb is dropped this week on The Bachelorette as JoJo goes cliff jumping with a former Olympian in Uruguay. Not a bad life for our girl, but it’s not all fun and games. Alisa, Chelsea, and Rae share their thoughts on this week’s dates.

Were there any surprises with who got a rose and who didn’t?

Alisa: I was shocked that Evan got a rose in the first ceremony but SO GLAD to see him leave in the second ceremony. The other eliminations all seemed pretty straightforward to me. At this point, the guys who get next to no screentime and whose names I can’t remember are still the ones getting the boot. I think next week is where it will start to get really interesting with who stays and who goes.

Chelsea: I’m not really surprised with who was let go. JoJo has made it clear who her frontrunners are so far. I was hoping Alex would go in the second ceremony because he has been the actual worst this season. Like more aggressive than Chad ever was and such a bully and instigator. He thinks he’s a nice guy, too, and plays victim, and it just makes it worse. I’m surprised Evan and Vinny made it as far as they did though. I’m surprisingly going to miss dumb Daniel. He made it way too far, but God bless his commentary.

Rae: Chelsea, I so agree with you about Alex. Alex is worried about mini-Chads but he is the biggest mini-Chad of all. Maybe even a medium-size Chad. I hope he goes quickly. I’m glad Wells is still around, but I’m getting worried for his fate since he’s not getting much screentime and hasn’t had a one-on-one yet. I was also shocked Vinny lasted as long as he did, but he seems like a good guy! Goodbye, Evan, I won’t miss you.

Who are your favorite guys?

Alisa: Okay, so I love Derek. He’s just adorable and seems way more mature and intelligent than the rest of the lot. I felt like the other guys were really letting jealousy get the best of them when Derek got the group date rose, and I thought his ability to rise above and just confront them about it in a rational, calm way was impressive. I’ve been a fan of his since early on when he handled Chad’s crazy in much the same way during episode one. A cool head under the pressure and crazy circumstances of this wacky show is a very attractive quality! I don’t think he’ll be JoJo’s pick in the end, so I sure would like to see him be the next Bachelor.

James Taylor is pretty adorable too, and definitely a favorite. I wish he’d gotten more screentime this episode but I guess we had to devote a big chunk to Chad’s crazy, so oh well. I still think James Taylor is a) way too innocent and kind-hearted to be on this show and b) a fluffy puppy in disguise. I think he’d be good for JoJo, but again, I don’t think she’ll pick him.

I couldn’t care less about any of the other guys. They can all go.

Chelsea: I really like Wells, but more for me than JoJo. He cracked me up eulogizing during the protein powder funeral. He and James Taylor are too much fun and just too adorable for this show. I would love for either of them to be the next Bachelor. What an upgrade they would be over boring Ben.

Luke is super up and down for me. He can be super whiny but then he has great moments with Jojo and the guys and I start liking him. Like Derek, he’s one of the more mature guys on this show. He knows what he wants and goes for it. I appreciate that.

I like Derek and his John Krasinski face. He seems way too mature for this show, and I like that he didn’t stoop to Alex’s level and tried to talk to the guys about it even though Alex and the gang started playing victim. Very disappointed in Robby for being part of that mean girls clique.

Rae: I love the way Derek handles what could be awkward conversations by calmly stating the truth. He did that with Chad too (“Are you scared of me?” “Of course, you’re very aggressive”). He just seems so nonplussed by all this macho nonsense. I’m also a little up and down with Luke, but he is one of my favorites, too, and I think he would be great with JoJo.

What do you think of Robby telling JoJo he loves her?

Alisa: Oh, Robby. I think Robby’s a good guy. Probably. He seems like he is. But don’t they all at first? Even Chad seemed normal for the first 2.5 seconds. The thing is, when you throw out the big L-word on your very first one-on-one date, it causes all sorts of alarm bells to go off in my head. Major red flag, dude. Even if you are feeling it, recognize that it’s waaaay too early and just keep that under wraps. I know things move fast in Bachelorville but there’s fast and then there’s stalker speed. Recognize which you are. Robby’s proclamation just made me think he’s two episodes away from a heart and shield tattoo on his wrist (anyone else remember Kasey from Ali’s season?!).

Chelsea: I wasn’t a big Robby fan until this episode. I love how he finally opened up about himself and we got to see this more emotional side of him. Before this, he and JoJo seemed to just be really attracted to each other, but now I could see him as husband material. I think it’s fine that he said he loves her because now he stands apart from the rest. He also had one of the more mature reactions to the article drama, and was ready to defend JoJo before entertaining the ex-Chad. And if he doesn’t win the show, I think he has a strong chance of being the next Bachelor.

Rae: Sorry, I just can’t take Robby seriously at all. I feel like every time he is with her he just does things he thinks he’s supposed to do on a date? I don’t know why I’m not feeling his vibe! Possibly because he told JoJo he loves her way too soon, which makes me think he’s insincere. Am I being judgey? Probably! Do I care? Not really.

James Taylor is way too innocent for this world, but I'm not sure what to make of his comment that no one who cries this hard could possibly be lying.

Anything else you want to add?

Alisa: I think the next time any man, anywhere in the world, dares to proclaim that women are more catty, more jealous, more crazy, more petty, or more anything really, then men are, said man should be forced to watch this episode on repeat until he recants his statements. Alex and Jordan and the other guys were basically just auditioning for a boys-version remake of Mean Girls and it was awful and horrible and irritating and almost made me wish Chad would come back. Almost.

Chelsea: Let’s talk about how the show totally stole a page from UnReal’s book with that magazine stunt. That was literally a plot point last year for the show and they completely planted that for some drama. And sure, it worked for the show, but get some original ideas Bachelor franchise.

That bro spa date of Robby and Jordan was adorable. I’d watch that show. It would be better than the upcoming Ben and Lauren reality show that I will attempt to suffer through.

And to back up Alisa — Alex, Chase, and Jordan (though more Alex) were super petty at the cocktail party to Derek. Derek was trying to address how Alex and Chase were acting toward him, and the two of them debating the way JoJo worded giving him a rose shows how much more petty and insecure they are than Derek. I don’t know why they dragged Robby and Jordan into it, but calm down, boys.

Rae: Yes, I agree with both of you on all of those points. Also, I could see Jordan and JoJo ending up together and aiming for C-list celebrity, but I get an off vibe from him, too. I think because he admitted to being a jerk to his last girlfriend, and I guess it takes self-reflection and improvement to see that, but it still doesn’t make me trust he wouldn’t do the same again. No more jerks, JoJo!


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