Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The Bachelor 21x05 Roundtable: Love is Kinda Crazy with a Spooky Little Girl Like You [Contributors: Patti Murin, Chelsea, Rebecca, Alisa, Rae]

This week on The Bachelor, the producers do some real mental gymnastics to host a date at a plantation house without ever mentioning its sordid history, Corinne and Taylor finally face off, and Rachel outshines everyone. See what Patti, Chelsea, Rebecca, Alisa, and Rae have to say about this week’s haunted dates.

Who would you have sent home: Taylor or Corinne?

Patti: Uh, both. I respect Taylor’s career path of being a mental  health counselor, but that doesn’t mean she has to be a smug bitch about it when dealing with the other women. Studying in school does not diminish the fact that she is 23 YEARS OLD, and has much less actual life experience than, say, Rachel. Also, she was having this argument with a 24-year old. I mean, Corinne’s still a moron, but, man, is she a smart moron. Does that make sense? Anyway, Taylor is boring and Corinne is not, so I think he (see: the producers) made the correct decision.

Oooh, one more thought. I think Corinne is a good one to keep around, as a sort of test for the other women left. Like, who is going to fall prey to her crazy next? Because that girl probably shouldn’t be who Nick picks in the end. Know what I mean?

Chelsea: I agree. Honestly, I’m super annoyed by Corinne and she is manipulative... but Taylor is 23-years old and must have just gotten her Master’s degree. You’re no better for engaging the toddler and starting drama. You could have been more straight with Nick about how Corinne is, and try to rise above it. Corinne is good to keep around because she’s good television, and I’ve only seen Taylor talk like twice this season. Corinne hasn’t had an actual meaningful conversation with Nick, so you know the producers are keeping her around so we can see that nanny. I don’t think she’ll be going home next week. Nick has done this a hundred times, and he isn’t stupid about what’s going on with the girls and the character Corinne is playing.

Real talk though: the most important things to happen this week were Corinne’s room service order — because that was just goals — and her asking how to make a voodoo doll. Girl got her cheesy noodles, hot wings, a steak, dessert. Gotta give her props for that and knowing how to play the game on this show.

Rebecca: I would have sent them both home, too! They’re both annoying and immature. I loved the conversation they tried to have at the beginning of the episode — I literally could not follow a word they said. They try to act so mature and wise, and they’re FAR from either of those things. I definitely loved the drama, but man, I won’t miss Taylor a bit and I won’t miss Corinne when her time is finally up.

Alisa: Both, definitely. Corinne is super annoying and Taylor is super irritating and neither are “here for the right reasons,” whatever that even means. I have to agree with Chelsea on the room service order. Corinne is clearly learning how to navigate the world without her nanny because all that food was really everything I’ve ever wanted in life but didn’t want to pay for myself. Corinne is the girl on every season that the audience loves to hate because she’s great to watch but you’d never want to spend five minutes with her in real life. She can stay on my TV as long as she wants to. As for Taylor, bye girl.

Rae: Definitely, both. They are both too immature for this. Taylor may be a better person than Corinne, but she was so focused on talking about emotional intelligence, she forgot to have any fun. Nick wasn’t into it, and neither am I.

Was the haunted house super lame or super cool?

Patti: This was the worst date I’ve ever been on, and that’s saying a lot. Like, you’re in New Orleans — one of the most unique and exciting cities in the U.S. — and you go to a tourist plantation that doesn’t even advertise on their website that it’s haunted? Dude, they have weddings there. It was kind of hilarious to see how drunk the girls got though. But seriously, go eat a Po’ Boy or cram into Preservation Hall to see some jazz. Take the trolley through the Garden District! Go shopping on Magazine Street! Can you tell I love NOLA?

Chelsea: It was a terrible place for a date, but it was super fun to watch. I don’t necessarily believe in ghosts or haunted houses, but I wouldn’t want to test anything. YOU NEVER KNOW. But it was a lot of fun seeing the girls get super drunk and wander around, and this show really needed some fun. It was nice seeing Nurse Danielle, Raven, and Vanessa just embrace the area.

Rebecca: I didn’t mind it. It was definitely weird, but I didn’t think it was as bad as some of the other dates this season. Jasmine totally was bumming me out, but Raven and Alexis were so fun to watch. They got really into it, and I always like when the contestants (pretend to) have fun on the group dates. The haunted house is definitely something I’d be down to try, but a bit weird for this situation.

Alisa: Well, first I have to agree with Patti that NOLA is amazing and has such a rich and interesting history and I would’ve been bummed if I was there and all I got to see was some lousy “haunted” house. At the same time, my boyfriend and I kinda have this running feud about ghosts. I don’t believe in them at all, not one bit, and he does. He watches all those paranormal, ghost-hunter type shows. But I’m the one who gets easily scared and freaked out by literally everything, and he’s super chill in scary situations. So, I feel like a haunted house date would actually be pretty awesome for us. But as a group date on The Bachelor? Meh, maybe not so much. I definitely preferred the zombie shooting on Ben’s season to this date. And also, how did all these girls not realize that clearly the caretaker stole the creepy doll while they were all downstairs and had that chandelier on a pulley system to drop it at just the right moment? These girls need to get out more.

Rae: Leave it to The Bachelor to have an entire date on a plantation, say it’s haunted, and not once mention slavery. Like, “hmm, who may have died here who would have a reason to be angry? Whatever! Bring on the mimosas.” I can’t. It’s so representative of the shiny image the Bachelor franchise paints without ever delving into historical context and problems that made it possible.

For the record, if we're voting, I do believe in ghosts.

Do you think Rachel can win this thing?

Patti: Nope! But I hope she doesn’t, because I WANT HER FOR THE NEXT BACHELORETTE!

Chelsea: No, but she’s gonna be the next Bachelorette and I CANNOT WAIT. She is way too good for Nick and I can see her being so much fun this summer.

Rebecca: I hope not because she’s too good for Nick! I also want her to be the next Bachelorette.

Alisa: Can she win it? Yes. Will she? No, because Nick is a moron. But as the other girls said, I’m all about her not winning because she is the Bachelorette this show needs but doesn’t deserve. Can we get #RachelForBachelorette trending? Please and thank you.

Rae: Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say... maybe? I have her in my final four but not getting the final rose, but Nick does seem super into her so maybe I am wrong! But, like everyone else, I’m already dreaming of Rachel as Bachelorette.

And as we do every week, here are the current Bachelor Fantasy League standings:

  1. Chelsea (420 points)
  2. Patti (360 points)
  3. Rae (280 points)
  4. Alisa (280 points)
  5. Rebecca (250 points)


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