Friday, November 11, 2016

Blindspot 2x08 Review: "We Fight Death on Thick Lone Waters" (She's His Lobster) [Contributor: Jen]

"We Fight Death on Thick Lone Waters"
Original Airdate: November 9, 2016

On this week's episode of Blindspot titled "We Fight Death on Thick Lone Waters," Kurt Weller is kidnapped and I am not okay! Realistically, I know Martin Gero wasn't going to kill Kurt Weller, but that was stressful. Let's not do it again.


Blindspot employs the classic Rashomon effect in "We Fight Death on Thick Lone Waters" to humorously, and creatively, reveal the case of the week. Patterson has been advertising the team on the puppy website that caters to the dark net — the same one that gave us the gift that is Rich Dot Com. This time Kurt and Jane are hired for heist, and Blindspotters are given the gift of Clive Doyle. This puppy website is a character goldmine. His humorous retelling of saving Kurt and a scantily clad Jane is an episode highlight.

It also effectively distracts us from the real bad guy — the girl-next-door hacker, Lynne Burton. Turns out, she's not a newbie to the dark web. She helped orchestrate the entire plot, kidnapping a Chinese scientist who has the ability to build a tsunami bomb. Yeah, that's a thing. Straight out of our human trafficking nightmare, there's an auction for her skill set. Weller lands himself on the auction block as well when he ditches Jane and boards the boat with Dr. Mingxia Chen in an effort to save her. Ugh. WELLER. I'd be more annoyed with your heroism if it wasn't so darn... well, heroic.

It's Team Blindspot to the rescue, with Nas leading the charge. They decide the only way to find Weller is to win the auction. Nas ignores U.S. Attorney Matthew Weitz's direct orders and uses the money from Lynne Burton's offshore account to buy back Weller. That's $20 million, by the way. Who says you can't buy love?

The $20 million buys the location, and Jane convinces Weitz to send the team back up... and another other twenty million dollars because that check is going to bounce. Jane shows up just in time with the cavalry to save Nas from being choked to death. It's #LadiesSupportingLadies time! I loved it. Then, both women team up and save Weller's butt. All members of the love triangle accounted for, but cohesively working together. Well done, crew.


Unfortunately, Nas' little rebellion earned her the ire of Weitz. He's gunning for her job, and vows she'll never work for the U.S. government again. Man, just when I was starting to really like Nas. She has finally started gelling with the team! And Nas is NSA. Can't she dig up something on Weitz? Yes, it crosses a line, but somehow I don't think that's an issue for the NSA.

My personal favorite moment in this episode is when Nas tries to protect the rest of the team from her super illegal plan. Apparently, the U.S. government frowns upon stealing $20 million from FBI-seized assets. Team Blindspot tells Nas they are down for whatever. When it comes to Kurt Weller, they are ride or die. (There may have been air fist-pumping from yours truly during this moment.)

Kurt knows that Nas is in big trouble and they share a sweet moment at his baby's gender reveal party. Yeah, it sounds weird, but it really wasn't. This is a modern American family, people! The thought of Kurt beaten and sold for parts left a normally stoic Nas in near tears. We love him too, Nas. We get it. Kurt gives her a sweet kiss on the head and promises Nas that he has her back. Wow, I'm not even annoyed at these two right now. Don't get me wrong — it's a losing battle for Nas. Jane is endgame, after all. But have your moment, Nas. Go nuts. You earned it.

The bigger Nas moment for me though is the one she shares with Patterson. Essentially, Nas hands Patterson the keys to the NSA kingdom. She gives her everything she has on Sandstorm. Nas seems pretty certain she's going to lose her job soon and she needs someone to continue her work. So, she entrusts her life's work to Patterson because Nas understands that Patterson is the actual best — brilliant, dedicated, loyal, and a unicorn too precious for this earth.

Speaking of the team, I've come to a decision. This is an important decision and I completely understand if you can't support me in it, but I feel it's just something I need to say: I ship Zappata and Reade.

Now, before you go nuts, please know I've carefully considered this. I love their friendship. I'm fine if they just stay friends. But Zappata was willing to go to jail for Reade, even when she thought he was a murderer. That's the kind of girl you put a ring on, Reade. Or at least buy dinner. Seeing Weller and Nas (who will end up with Jane eventually), Patterson and Borden, just instilled a deep need to couple Zappata and Reade up. I'm a fan of couples. Also, they are pretty together. I want it.


Oh, these crazy kids. What are we going to do with them?

Patterson's excitement over the pink/blue baby cake led Jane to the awkward conclusion that she was not invited to the party. Patterson, naturally, assumed she was because Patterson understands how Blindspot works. Where Kurt Weller goes, so goes Jane Doe's nation. We like to ignore the fact that they aren't together anymore too, Patterson. You are in good company. But oh man you guys — there was so much awkward. I do  not even have enough words for all the awkward. I suffered deep secondhand embarrassment, and just wanted to make it all go away.

When it comes to decide who should follow Dr. Chen onto the boat, Jane makes an impassioned speech to Weller about how it should be her. Kurt has a baby on the way. He has Allie, Sarah, and Sawyer to think of. If something happened to Jane, nobody would miss her. She's not being melodramatic or feeling sorry for herself in this moment though. Jane is just being pragmatic, which breaks my heart into a million pieces.

It seems Kurt agrees, but then he distracts Jane and boards the boat himself because... of course he does. Even though he may not be able to vocalize it, there is one person who would miss Jane if something happened to her. Kurt. And he sure isn't letting Jane put her life on the line when he can offer his.
"But for what it's worth, I should tell you that Charlie didn't blink before he put his body between danger and Zoey." — Josh Lyman, The West Wing
Whenever I think of Kurt and Jane, I think of this line from The West Wing. Kurt doesn't hesitate to put his body between Jane and danger. Yes, he knows she can protect herself; but that's just the way it is. That's the way it's always been. That's the way it's always going to be. This man is swoon-worthy, people. I SWOON.

Kurt is able to use his words (after nearly being sold to the highest criminal bidder). He tells Jane what we all know — that he would miss her if something happened to her. Uh-huh. That's why he got on the boat, Jane! You're his lobster!

So, let's recap here: Kurt is able to vocalize that Jane is his friend. This is an important step in the rebuild of their relationship. Kurt and Jane need to start somewhere, after all, and before we land on Lovers Lane, we need to idle in the Friendship Zone for a while. They'll pretend they are super evolved and mature. They'll act like they don't care who the other person is dating... even though they are secretly dying inside. Oliver and Felicity are playing this game on Arrow, too. It'll be fun, folks. Mostly because it's a hop skip and a jump to our final destination: Couple Kingdom.

Finally, Kurt and Allie cut the cake and it's... PINK! Baby Girl Weller is on her way and, of course, it's a baby girl. That way, Kurt can name her Taylor.

Stray Thoughts:
  • I'm digging this baby daddy/baby mama relationship between Kurt and Allie. They care about each other, but they actually are just friends. Way to be adult and co-parent, guys!
  • "Why isn't Jane wearing a shirt? Oh.”
  • I want to be more worried about Phase 2 and Roman's sudden arrival at Jane's door, but mostly I just want to know what Phase 2 is so we can move on.
  • I feel like Weitz's addition is to muddy the mole waters more. It's fine if it means we get to keep Borden though.


  1. I wonder where these kurt's plots unpopular goes

    1. I think kurt's plot goes that Nas is with weller due to the sandstorm. In season 1 sandstorm want jane near weller and in season 2 this disappeared. Why? because sandstorm has Nas.

    2. Directly to cancellation of the show!

  2. As usual, I love your reviews! It almost expresses everything we're (I'm) thinking about. I'm aware that most of the fandom isn't really in love with Kurt right now; but you he's processing (creepy /murderer father...Jane's betrayal...the baby) his behavior sucks but eventually we're going to get back our Kurt. Plus why Martin is playing with us regarding Nas... He makes us like her then hate her then like her again... Oh my God; at the end of the season, I think Borden's office is going to be full of patient (if he's not the mole (of course he's not for Patterson's sakes))

  3. NOOOOOOOOOO!!! There are ABSOLUTELY no possible redeeming aspects and qualities to warrant accolades as far as Nas is concerned!!! Nas is evil to down to her boney ass. Kudos to Weitz to take down Nas and all her scuzziness! Lots of support to Weitz to uncover Nas' lies and deceit, and expose her in all her evil glory to Weller and the others! Hurrah! KIll her dead is even better! Would relish the deep pain that the discovery would inflict on Weller. Feel Big Hurt, Weller! Feel it good, buddy! He deserves the full impact of "manhurt" for all the pain he caused Jane and that also goes for the way Zapata and Reade have treated her! Zapata and Reade have their own illegal actions to answer for! They have nothing be righteous about! The lack of depth (chemistry) between Nas and Weller, dickhead of the year, is so stunningly apparent that it burns eyeballs out of sockets and causes puke to explode among a HUGE number of viewers (Jellers and other fandom alike!). Nas has only one priority and that is to succeed in whatever her agenda is... and gullible Weller is the best means-to-an-end for Nas to achieve her objective. Bitch! If the writers' intent of subjecting fans to the Nas' sex match up with Weller and the Allie's pregnancy arcs as plot devices to make Weller a more kinder, softer, sympathetic and human guy; then, Rubbish! Weller is now perceived by the majority of fans as a stupid, pathetic, two-faced, forked-tongued, pussy-whipped bastard who is clearly manipulated by Nas and is an idiot for believing Allie without a DNA test for the baby. I, for one, respectfully and soundly disagree with your "kind assessment" of Nas and the positive (what???!!!!) changes you seem to see in her actions. Usually, I find your reviews right on, but not this time! Disappointed. Based on poll ratings, the Nas and Allie arcs (other lesser issues too) are responsible for the loss of viewer support. Fans left and continue to leave. No viewers. No Blindspot.

    1. I think they confused with make the unbearable character

  4. I really don't like Nas. I mean, she was listening in on Jane's therapy appointments, which is awful, and she basically told her that she should have let her brother die because one life was insignificant in the face of a larger mission (and where have we heard that before? From Roman and Sandstorm). Not to mention the way she has seemingly no qualms about this Omaha shit. Like, she knows about Orion, she knows that this is violating every person in America's basic rights and is too much power for the government to have, (as does Kurt, I would hope) and she just doesn't give a shit. She is a huge hypocrite. She doesn't get to decide that the mission comes before everything and everyone except when it comes to someone that she cares about (which is Kurt basically, if Jane was on that boat she would have argued with Kurt to get him to do nothing).
    And I am not warming up to Kurt anytime soon. Like, I get it, it's nice that he suddenly decides they're friends again, but he hasn't apologized for anything so why the hell does he expect Jane to just be waiting around like a neglected puppy? Even as he so magnanimously decided that they could be friends again he prefaced it by saying, "I never thought I'd feel this way again," or whatever. His passive-aggressive comments just never stop!
    I don't know. Jane and Patterson are my brotp, and I love this show, but I feel a little let down by some of the writer's choices lately.

  5. "Nas-eated" is my new term for every scene between Weller and Nas. (Related: I've also learned not to eat within an hour of viewing the show. For safety reasons. Gag.)

    NAS HAS TO GO. IMMEDIATELY. She is not now - nor will she ever be - part of the team and the only reason Jane saved her was because she needs Nas for the whole Sandstorm mess. (Now that Patterson has access, I honestly think Jane's fate is in better hands.) In fact, I completely support Zapata's handler/wannabe-boyfriend Weitz in any effort he wants to exert to get Nas out of the FBI's hair and out of my sight. He's an intriguing character on a different level and I'd rather watch him every week.

    Weller isn't off the hook either. He gets some big points for getting on the boat to spare Jane and then immediately lost them again with his pathetic (PATHETIC) "You're my friend" speech at the end. Newsflash, dude - YOU'RE the one pushing her at Sandstorm right now. Just you. And meanwhile, she's over there drowning in guilt and hurt and the best you could do was a paltry few sentences that weren't passive-aggressive?! Uh uh. Uncool. Not as uncool as bringing what happened in Bulgaria back to NYC (it should've stayed in Bulgaria!) and continuing with WHATEVER that thing with Nas is (it is NOT romance or a relationship), but still super uncool.

    (I'm also 99% sure those were crocodile tears from Nas when she told Weller she was worried about him. Worried about not having an in as the mole anymore, maybe.)

    NBC keeps promising me big episodes every week and then Gero doesn't deliver. This mid-season finale better turn a corner - fast.

    1. His "I'd miss you, I'm your friend" speech was still a little passive-aggressive seeing as he prefaced it by saying "I never thought I’d say this again."

    2. This is true. (TBH, I'm not even sure why she went to the party. I would've told him where he could put his gender reveal cake at that point.)

  6. I think that Nas is trying to see if Weller is the mole. She made him go through all that stuff of his and seemed to closely watch his reactions to the phone in the bag. Basically, Jane has always been a loyal, trustworthy, honest and brave. She has not changed. I think Sandstorm manipulated her into "we have to do this to save the world", before they erased her memory, or maybe they erased it because she found them out and they decided to use her anyway. Weller's name is on her back for a specific reason. They delivered her to him. Nas is listening, because she doesn't trust anyone. Especially Weller whom she has attached herself to in order to keep an eye on him. Someone in Sandstorm leaked info to Nas. I bet it was Jane before they erased her memory.