"Technology Wizards"
Original Airdate: January 26, 2018
Back with another review! Sorry it is so late, Blindspotters. One of these days I'll be able to watch this show on time. "Technology Wizards" is a slight step up from last week's "Balance of Might," but that's not saying much since we were at rock bottom.
CASE OF THE WEEK
It's dueling Cases of the Week! Kurt discovers Avery alive, but so is the German gangster Max Kohler. Kurt thought he killed Max in the same shootout he "accidentally shot" Avery. This is becoming a pattern, Weller. You were the Assistant Director of the FBI. You James Bond for a living. Get your act together.
Max Kohler's real name is Dedrik Hoehne and he's holding Avery captive... for some reason. Avery lied about Roman and Kohler, but I still don't understand why. I also don't understand why Roman kidnapped her for months. Unfortunately, "Technology Wizards" doesn't do a lot of clarify that other than that Roman manipulated her. It feels a little thin, but there's no point of trying to make sense of it now. Hopefully, they'll dig a little deeper in upcoming episodes.
Of course, Jane's kidnapping expert ex-boyfriend Clem (yes, that is my bitterness speaking. Leave me to my pain) is more than happy to help Kurt and Jane find Avery. Most awkward mission ever. They find Avery's location, but Kurt and Clem are too busy fighting about tactics. Kohler is able to escape with Avery again. (They should have done it Kurt's way.)
Avery's super secret agent genes kick in and she signals to her mama where she's located when Jane demands proof of life via cellphone video. Jane and Clem kill the kidnappers, while Weller has rendezvous with Roman in the underground tunnel. Before you get too excited, they are separated by a clear, bulletproof wall. East and West Berlin built this wall underground to circumvent the Berlin Wall so enemies could meet without the threat of death. I have absolutely no idea if it's historically accurate or not, but it sounds cool so I am going to believe it is true.
Patterson's chickens come home to roost in the second Case of the Week. Someone hacked the back door in her Wizardville app and is blackmailing subscribers to do embarrassing and illegal things like rob a bank wearing a diaper. It leads back to Boston: Rich Dotcom's ex boyfriend. Boston was one of the original Wizardville app coders and probably created the back door. I'm casting serious side eye at the writers over this one. Patterson is a genius and she's been freaking over this back door for weeks now. She never once considered the felon she hired to code had something to do with it? Give me a break.
However, it is Boston's new boyfriend Sanjay who is really using the back door to do serious harm. He blackmailed Johnny Sheridan, a top engineer embezzling millions from the defense contractor he works for. Sanjay blackmailed Sheridan into stealing white phosphorus bombs to sell on the black market. Yup, bombs again.
But it's white phosphorus bombs and not nuclear bombs so it's a completely different plot line. At least the target isn't New York City this time. Oh wait... it IS New York City.
There are three options for why the writers continually repeat this plot line:
- They really love bombs.
- They believe the audience forgets an episode immediately after watching and won't remember the six other bomb-related episodes. (I submit the constant flashbacks from prior episodes as proof).
- They don't care it's repetitive and are phoning it in until hiatus.
Given where we're at, I'm going with option three.
Boston selflessly volunteers to find out the location of the meet and it is conveniently his apartment. I don't know where black market sales go down, but I can guarantee you they don't happen in the apartments of the purveyor.
Things get a little dicey for a bit, but Boston finds a way to signal to the team the sale is happening (who knew tea kettles were multi-purpose?) and Team Blindspot saves the day!
TEAM BLINDSPOT
Kurt versus Roman gave the men the opportunity to trade zingers without simultaneously beating one another to a pulp. I'm here for letting these two boys fight it out.
Yes, I even cackled along with Roman. Sometimes he's very charming in his evilness and makes me like him. Particularly when Kurt and Jane are being easy-to-manipulate-dummies. Roman: 1, Kurt: 0.
Kurt is down, but he's not out. He asks Roman if he's tired of being alone, which hits Roman in his Blake-shaped heart. Roman shrugs it off because he's not meant for that kind of life. Aww, man. Can't one of my ships sail on this show? Weller twists the Shepherd knife and tells Roman that no matter what his motivations were, he lied and manipulated Avery just like Shepherd did to him. That did the trick. Roman totally wanted to kill Kurt. Roman: 1, Kurt: 1
I'm calling this one a draw. Until next time, boys!
My other flailing romance took a blow this week too. Zapata was prepared to profess her feelings to Reade, but he pulls out an engagement ring for the girlfriend whose name I can't remember. If I can't remember her name, it means Blindspot has put zero effort into this relationship. This makes it difficult for me to believe she is any kind of road block to Reade and Zapata. But Tasha went sad panda on me while hugging Reade and pretending to be happy for him, so I wanted to cry.
I'm making the leap that Jane's daughter will become part of Team Blindspot. She held a gun in Jane's face and didn't shoot her, which I think is official initiation. Why Avery chose to pull a gun on her mother — the same woman who just rescued her — is a little mind-boggling. Jane explains Roman manipulated Avery, but manipulation means Roman told Avery everything Jane would say. Most of Jane's arguments were shot down — yes, even Shepherd and the baby stealing. Although, I'm Team Avery on this one. It's not like Remi cut all ties with her mother after she stole her baby.
Avery knows Roman can't be trusted, but that doesn't mean she trusts Jane. Really? She just dropped six bodies for you. I'd say that counts for something. Jane — in her first mother/daughter talk — does a pretty good job. She tells Avery to look at the dead bodies around her and rethink her life.
Avery realizes she's an orphaned teenager with a super secret agent birth mother who, until about five minutes ago, didn't remember she existed. Her uncle manipulated and lied to her in some elaborate plot to mess with said birth mother's marriage. This same person convinced her to faked her own death and then kidnapped her. Now she's pointing a glock at her birth mother with a bunch of dead bodies laying around her. I'd say Avery is having a bit of day.
Avery drops the gun and starts crying. Thus, Jane is able to whisk her away onto the plane and hopefully provide this child with some parenting in the upcoming episodes. The kid needs it.
KURT AND JANE
Jane did not sleep with Clem. She just slept in the hotel room, poured her heart out to him, and flirted. However, we are not supposed to hold anything that happened with Clem — either past or present — against Jane because... drum roll please....
Kurt and Jane were on a break!
I was kidding about the Ross/Rachel excuse in my "Balance of Might" review. I didn't really believe Blindspot would use "we were on a break" as a legitimate reason why Jane didn't cheat on Kurt. Apparently, because Jane left in the middle of the night (without discussing it with Kurt) and didn't know if she'd ever see him again, it was perfectly acceptable for her to kiss another man a few short months into her trek across the world.
I'm sorry — at any point was there a discussion about dissolving the marriage? Were they separated? Was Kurt allowed a vote? NO. Blindspot has the most fluid definition for marriage that I've ever seen. This isn't a light switch Kurt and Jane can switch on or off whenever it suits them. You are either married or you are not. It's sort of like how you can't say you are a little bit pregnant. Certainly, there are stages to a dissolution and uncertainty as to where the relationship is going, but guess what? YOU. ARE. STILL. MARRIED.
Until you say, "Hey I want a divorce" or "We should legally separate" or "Let's agree it's okay to sleep with other people while we are still married, but separated by distance and circumstance," it is not okay to kiss or sleep with someone else. If you do then YOU ARE CHEATING. End of discussion. There is no way Blindspot is going to wriggle out of this mess of a storyline on a technicality. The fact they are even trying just shows what a mess it is.
Kurt spends most of the episode trying to out-alpha Clem, while Jane passive-aggressively takes Clem's side in every disagreement. She comes clean to Kurt about her romantic past with Clem, but Kurt is not allowed to be upset with her because he killed her daughter.
Yeah... except he didn't. What's truly frustrating is Blindspot has dissolved Kurt and Jane's relationship into tit for tat. They are keeping score now and we, as the audience, are required to keep score too. "Kurt can't be angry at Jane because he did this," and "Jane has to forgive Kurt because she did this." That is not how a marriage works. Making a mistake and hurting your spouse isn't suddenly permission for your partner to make an even bigger mistake and hurt you back. Kurt and Jane didn't lie to one another about their transgressions as retaliation, but those mistakes are being used as some kind of get out of jail free card. Particularly in Jane's case. Kurt isn't allowed to be angry about the cheating because, a) they were on a break, b) he killed her daughter, and c) he lied.
At least in Ross and Rachel's case, the topic of a break was broached. That is not the case with Kurt and Jane. Jane is making the rules up as she goes and Kurt has to follow along because he lied too. Except Kurt didn't kill Jane's daughter and he wasn't briefed on the dating rules before Jane skipped town. More importantly, those aren't the reasons Jane kissed Clem! Jane kissed Clem because she wanted to. It's as simple as that.
Kurt and Jane's marriage really is a light switch to Blindspot. They will switch it off for ill-conceived, illogical, and poorly written drama and switch it back on when it's convenient. We — as viewers — are simply expected to go along as Jeller flips off, on, off, on off, on, and off.
Marriage means something. It's not just a piece of paper. It's about the vows taken and the commitment promised. If Blindspot insists on treating Jane and Kurt's marital status as something they can turn off and on whenever it suits them, then why did they bother marrying them at all?
The only real glimmer was this line from Jane: "Maybe we should stop trying to protect each other because it just seems to make things worse."
The entire Blindspot audience just screamed "YES," you idiots. This is what we've been telling you to do for three years! If you just listened to us you'd be on your way to Jeller babies.
Stray Thoughts:
- There was way too much thigh touching on Clem's part and Jane's hug lasted way too long. I do not approve.
- "Do you think Avery's death was part of it all? To hurt Jane?" Patterson you are brilliant, but that's just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. DUH. Of course it was. Now even the character — whose defining characteristic is her intelligence — has to act like a moron to make this storyline fly. Kurt and Jane are one thing, but DO NOT MESS WITH PATTERSON, WRITERS.
- Avery faked her death with a drug. Pretty sure that was on my list of possibilities.
- "This was just another plan to tear us apart." DING DING DING. Someone give these two a cookie.
- Kurt's dagger eyes on Clem and extra firm handshake did give me a chuckle.
- "Sadly not the first time I've seen that in New York." I don't live in New York, but I believe it.
- Jane has been searching for Avery for days. She busted Kurt over his lies putting Avery's life at risk. Avery has slipped from her grasp once before. She finally comes in contact with her child and... sticks her in a closet and tells her to stay put? Huh? How about not letting her out of your sight, Jane? Give Avery a gun.
- Crawford is the target. We knew this and Roman knew it, but I feel he should have given Kurt a "spoiler alert" warning. Our Kurt is having trouble keeping up this season.
- "You think she'll be okay?"
- "Yeah she's tough. Just like her mother." I will not be won over with one apology and a single warm piece of dialogue. However, it was nice to see a shell of Jeller again.
- "She still loves you." Everybody knows that, Clem. We really didn't need you to tell Kurt that. Patterson had it covered. You still remain a pointless plot device.
- Was that the Arrow hospital set? It looked familiar.
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