Friday, January 20, 2017

Blindspot 2x12 Review: "Devil Never Even Lived" (Hello, Goodbye) [Contributor: Jen]


“Devil Never Even Lived”
Original Airdate: January 18, 2017

Blindspot lets Roman out of the cage in “Devil Never Even Lived.” It’s a sloppy and overly convenient episode, but it does lead to some big — and necessary — character developments.


CASE OF THE WEEK


After being told her brother is a psychopath, the first thing Jane wants to do is put him in the field. This should go well. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Roman asks.

I’m agreeing with Roman a lot in this episode and I can assure you it’s a disquieting feeling. Jane is absolutely sure this is a good idea. After all, Roman decoded the leopard tattoo. He’s fine! It’s worth noting that Patterson’s irritation over Jane giving Roman all the credit for solving the leopard tattoo is absolutely hilarious. Allow me, my precious unicorn, to correct Jane’s error: Yes, you solved the tattoo Patterson. Roman just played Mancala.

The tattoo leads to the Viper Kings, one of Roman’s Sandstorm connects, which includes... his girlfriend Kat Jarrett. We all called that one, right? Right. What Roman knows about the Viper Kings is less clear after Jane zipped his memories, so the therapist tries a little sense memory recollection. She plays the sound of a motorcycle engine and Roman recalls exactly what Team Blindspot needs him to remember exactly when they need him to remember it. Sigh. Blindspot exploits convenient plot points on the regular, but this was bad even for them.

The Viper Kings sold explosives to Roman in the past, so Team Blindspot decides to steal some explosives. The Viper Kings will set up a meet with Shepherd. The FBI will bust Shepherd and Sandstorm at the meet, and ta-da! Then the season two Big Bad will be kaput. Raise your hand if you think this will work. (You shouldn’t be raising your hand.)

Apparently, the only explosives Sandstorm is interested in are HMX, and you can only steal HMX explosives from the military. So, obviously, Team Blindspot decides they need to steal HMX explosives from the military. Yes, seriously. They actually considered this for a second. Luckily (or perhaps conveniently) Nas has a buddy at the Defense Department who owes her a favor, so he loans her the HMX.

Weller is nervous about potentially losing real HMX explosives, but Nas reassures him that Sandstorm will never end up with them. Besides, there’s only a little HMX. The rest is all fake. What could go wrong? Yes, that was her actual argument. To which Weller essentially replied, “cool.” I need something to bang my head against. Oh look! A wall. That’ll do.

The Viper Kings are suspicious of Roman because he’s been MIA for a year. He was supposed to run away with Kat, but never did because Remi told him to stop seeing her. So Kat is pretty ticked off at Roman, too. After the Kings take the truck, their leader instructs Roman to shoot the drivers, who are an undercover Weller and Reade. Jane tries a little song and dance about how that’s such a ridiculous request.

Uh, no it’s really not Jane. Y’all just stole HMX explosives and the drivers can ID everyone. What did you think the bikers were going to do? In the end, Roman pumps a couple bullets into Reade and Weller, assassin style and in the middle of Jane’s “we don’t need to kill them” speech. It was kind of awesome actually.

Of course, I am not remotely concerned that Blindspot just killed off two main cast members because I am assuming they are wearing vests. I assumed correctly. Jane is livid with Roman for shooting her friends. Come on, Jane, at best Reade is your frenemy and Weller is your lobster. Let’s use correct relationship terminology. Roman tells Jane that she’s being dumb (she really is) and if he hesitated any longer, the Viper Kings would have shot Reade and Weller in the head right after they killed Roman and Jane.

Jane is still sniping about the seams in the vests; Roman could have missed and really hurt Reade and Weller (but mostly Weller). Roman tells Jane he wouldn’t miss because, you know, HE’S A SUPER NINJA ASSASSIN LIKE HER and also, he didn’t have any choice. Either way, he gets the blame. He shoots Weller and Reade with the vests, and he’s being blamed. He lets them die, he’d be blamed.

Roman is right. I am agreeing with Roman. What is happening?

Of course, everything goes wrong as expected. Nas really needs to watch more Blindspot. She’d be far less confident if she did. Kat decides Roman is acting weird because he’s holding her hand and he never use to do that. So he must be a cop. It’s shocking how Kat didn’t buy Jane’s whole “Roman was shot and now he acts weird” excuse right? No, it’s not shocking at all. You should not be shocked. I’d feel a lot better about Jane if she was less shocked too.

Roman thinks fast, telling Kat that he works for the FBI and that he loves her. If she can help them get Shepherd, then they can run away together like they planned. Kat rapidly downshifts to, “Cool. I’m in” and helps Roman and Jane escape. So... Kat doesn’t believe Roman would hold her hand. That’s too warm and fuzzy, but “I love you” is no problem? “I love you” is absolutely something Roman would say? WHAT? There’s logic fails and then there’s... this. Oy.

Anyway, Kat is shot and killed in the gun battle. Roman spends about a half second on her death and then they try to ambush Sandstorm. Who, you guessed it, somehow knew the FBI was involved, arrived at the meet early, and stole the HMX explosives.

Hot. Mess.


TEAM BLINDSPOT


At least we got a little interesting character development. Patterson was allowed to emote, instead of just cracking codes and hacking satellites. She makes it clear to Nas that she wants to be there when Sandstorm is taken down. She’s asking Nas because Weller would say no. Ha! Accurate. Nas asks Patterson if this is about Borden. No, Nas, it’s definitely not about the man she was sleeping with for months on end, showering her with gifts, making her believe he loved her, all the while was working against her team and is the cause of several agents’ deaths. Nope. It has nothing to with him.

I mean. Seriously.

Nas tells Patterson that she knows how she feels — Borden betrayed them all. This sets Patterson off. I’m paraphrasing, but Patterson essentially says, “Yeah... about that. Isn’t your job as a National Security Advisor supposed to be analyzing intel? Didn’t you have his office bugged? How the heck did you miss this? Oh that’s right. You were spying on everyone EXCEPT BORDEN.”

It was glorious.

Meanwhile, Jane and Roman have a little “post-mission” chat. Roman remarks that he lied to Kat — he didn’t love her. Roman didn’t feel anything at all and he’s beginning to wonder if he ever will.

Dear Roman,

You might be a psychopath. Please say things that are less psychopathic to assuage our fears.

Love,
Everyone

Jane tells Roman that feelings aren’t as easily recalled as memories. Uh, they aren’t? She tells him feelings have to be earned. Ooookay. I don’t really know what that means, and I don’t think Jane does either, but we’re gonna roll with it because Jane’s words give Roman hope. However, as the camera cuts away, we can clearly see the worry in Jane’s eyes. She’s wondering if her little bro is a few paper plates short of a picnic.


KURT AND JANE


Nas and Kurt broke up.


Nas decides that she and Weller compromise their jobs for each other. They make bad calls in the field because they are dating. Weller signed off on the HMX explosives because it was what Nas wanted, and she signed off on Roman being out in the field because it was what Weller wanted. Technically, Jane wanted Roman in the field and where Jane goes so goes Weller’s nation, but that’s just details. This break-up is about being good leaders and blah blah blah. Weller says, “That’s it?” and Nas says, “Yup” and they are done. Honestly, Nas and Weller seemed about as emotionally invested in their relationship as I was — which means not at all.

I’m glad Nas broke up with Weller. This is Archie Panjabi we’re talking about here. She does the breaking up, thank you very much. It allows Nas to leave with her dignity intact, without Jane being the reason for the end of the relationship. Go with God, Nas.

Weller barely has time to care. He’s too busy sharing all his sad feelings with Jane over his baby leaving town. Of course, just as Jane is about to respond to Weller’s sad feelings, Zappata interrupts. This is what I wrote in my notes: “Zappata! Quit interrupting my Jeller feels!”

Jane shows up at Weller’s apartment later (yes, his apartment. I may have shrieked with joy). When Kurt opens the door, Jane finishes her interrupted sentence because she is the cutest. She tells Kurt that it’s okay to feel alone and since they are both feeling alone, they should be alone together. Yeah, you should. I know a lot of ways you guys can be alone together. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

I’m settling down. We’re not going to get that lucky yet, but Kurt is ready to talk empty baby cribs and drink beer with his beloved. Nas who? Honestly, Blindspotters, if you ever wondered if the writers hear your displeasure or worry if Jane and Kurt are endgame, let this episode be a lesson. Kurt and Nas break up, and Jane shows up at Weller’s door in the the next scene. Yes, Blindspot hears you.

Of course, Weller inexplicably (or conveniently) has his military academy year book out. The photo is of Kurt playing basketball and Shepherd is watching from the stands. Jane essentially tells Kurt, “Hey, btw that’s Shepherd,” and he realizes he knows her. Dun dun DUNNNNN.

One of the more interesting moments was when Kurt tells Jane to be careful out in the field with Roman. Jane reassures Weller that they will, but then Kurt emphasizes the “you.” It’s cute how Jane thought Weller was remotely worried about Roman. Silly rabbit. He’s always worried about you Jane... and only you. Kurt wants Jane to keep Roman at a distance (“Treat him the same way I treated you when I found out who you were”).

Weller recognizes that Roman is Jane’s blindspot, just like Jane was his last year. He doesn’t want her to get blindsided the way he did. Kurt reminds Jane that they were trained to manipulate people. He’s not saying any of this to be cruel. It’s just fact. This is Kurt being protective, which is the Kurt I always love. Kurt lost Jane to a blindspot once before. He won’t lose her to another one.

Stray Thoughts:
  • Honestly, has no one thought to sit Jane down with a sketch artist so they knew what Shepherd looked like? You are the FBI. You should be thinking of this stuff.
  • I think Blindspot thinks the audience has been zipped. They have zero faith that we can remember anything from previous episodes. Hence, incessant flashbacks. I’ve complained about this before. I’ll probably complain about it again.
  • Zappata is doing the thing people sometimes do — you pretend to be overly interested in your friend’s love life in an attempt to deflect your obvious feelings because you are afraid it is starting to show. It’s #3 in the “Top 10 Ways To Act Like You Are Not In Love With Your Best Friend When You Are Actually In Love With Your Best Friend.”
  • Jane talks to Roman like he’s an infant sometimes. Please do that less, Jane. It’s weird.
  • Reade randomly hooks up with Freddy’s girlfriend. I suppose one is powerless against Edgar Reade shirtless, but still it was odd.
  • Borden is kind of hot when he’s all menacing.
  • Way too much attention on Parker, a Sandstorm bit player, until now. So... Parker is probably Nas’ inside source.

2 comments:

  1. The Freddy's girlfriend thing was so weird, and I totally agree with Jane sometimes treating Roman like a child, but they did have a sketch of Shepherd - they showed it to Roman when he first came to the FBI.

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  2. Your review is right on the mark! Also appreciate your humor! Like you, I'm over the moon that the Nas/Weller crap is over. Although I'd prefer that Nas meets with a drastic demise. But wait, a character is going to die in an upcoming episode. There's hope that it will be Nas!!! Yay! It would also be gratifying if Allie and her brat would die too. Totally hated the soap opera stories of Nas and Allie. Useless waste of tv screen time.
    Advocating for more romantic scenes for Jane and Kurt! We need more Jeller. Jeller will be the thing that saves the show and gets a Season 3 renewal!!!

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