Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5x06 Recap: “The Venue” (Hero Horses and Vile Vultures) [Contributor: Alisa Williams]

“The Venue” 
Original Airdate: November 14, 2017

On the latest Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode, Jake and Amy have an exciting announcement for the squad: they’ve found a wedding venue and are getting married on May 15! The venue is a gorgeous mansion complete with a library, seven bathrooms, and a gazebo. It was booked solid for the next two years but a couple dropped out (literally — they fell out of a five story window and died). After making their announcement, Jake and Amy head out to meet with 17 wedding vendors to plan the big event.

Meanwhile, Captain Holt has some news for the rest of the team: an NYPD officer has gone missing and they’re tasked with finding him. But this isn’t just any officer — it’s Sergeant Peanut Butter, a horse and Boyle’s nemesis. Apparently, he and the horse won medals of honor on the same day and the horse completely overshadowed him, a slight Boyle has never forgiven. Surprisingly, Boyle is not a suspect in Peanut Butter’s disappearance; a disgruntled former civilian employee of the NYPD named Jesse Gurmwald is.

While Rosa goes off to investigate Peanut Butter’s disappearance with the help of a less-than-enthused Boyle, Terry finds himself in hot water with a new member of the precinct. Terry has a habit of talking about himself in the third person, and while complimenting his own butt in a conversation with Holt, the new officer, named Teri, overhears him and thinks he’s talking about her butt. She immediately calls him out for being inappropriate, and once he explains, she informs him that complimenting his own butt in the third person is both arrogant and just downright weird. Holt is inclined to agree, causing Terry to storm off in an embarrassed huff.

Jake and Amy have run into an awkward situation of their own at the wedding venue. After a morning of booking vendors that could not have gone smoother, they hit a snag when they try to put their deposit down at the mansion. Even though they’d been told it would be held until end of day for them to come in with the money, they find out someone else swooped in and stole it out from under them. That person turns out to be the Vulture, their former temporary Captain from a few years back, and an all-around smarmy and reprehensible dude (played by the hilarious Dean Winters). Apparently, the Vulture has found true love and is getting married, and stealing Jake and Amy’s venue is just the icing on the wedding cake.

Amy and Jake head out to confront the Vulture’s fiancée, Jean Monroe, convinced she’s a horrible human being just like the Vulture. They find her at the Zenith Fund, a charity for children that she created. It turns out she’s the nicest, sweetest human being imaginable. Additionally, the Vulture apparently talks about Jake and Amy a lot and has told Jean what amazing people they are. Their resolve crumbles and instead of demanding their venue back, they end up donating to Jean’s charity to help feed refugee children.

Things are going better for Rosa and Boyle, who have tracked down Gurmwald and Peanut Butter. Despite Gurmwald setting fire to the barn with Peanut Butter inside in an attempt to escape, they manage to capture him and save Peanut Butter. Sure, Boyle had to endure being dragged by Peanut Butter when he grabbed the rope around the horse’s neck and the horse took off, but Boyle decides to have a good attitude about it all. That is, until Rosa shows him the day’s headlines. Apparently a passerby snapped a photo of Peanut Butter and Boyle and now the city’s papers read, “Stud Horse Saves Small Man” and “Hero Cop Saves Helpless Buffoon.” Once again, Peanut Butter is getting all the credit. Even worse, Peanut Butter has been invited on The Ellen Show — Boyle’s life-long dream — and Reese Witherspoon is optioning the rights to the Peanut Butter story.

Meanwhile, Terry asks Holt if he can use $350 of petty cash to throw Teri an ice cream party to apologize for the earlier misunderstanding. Captain Holt refuses, saying that Teri understands what happened and Terry only wants to do this because he has a pathological need to be liked by everyone. To prove his point, Holt challenges Terry to walk across the precinct without saying hi (or nodding) to anyone. Terry fails immediately and has to admit he does crave affirmation and acceptance from every single person he meets.

Much to Holt’s displeasure, Terry decides to go ahead with the ice cream party plan anyway, using his own money. He printed up Teri’s photo and showed it to every ice cream parlor within 30 blocks. None of them recognized her, so he bought every flavor — 200 pints total. Holt asks if Terry’s considered that perhaps Teri doesn’t eat ice cream, but Terry has planned for that too, and has back up options coming just in case: a taco bar, barbecue, popcorn, and vegan. Holt tells Terry that he has become unhinged and informs him that if he goes through with this party, Holt will like him less. This leaves Terry in quite the pickle.

In the breakroom, Amy and Jake are bemoaning their lost venue when all of a sudden Hitchcock’s phone makes a sound — the same sound the Vulture’s phone made when they were talking to him earlier. Hitchcock tells them it’s a hook-up app called “Boink,” and they realize the Vulture is cheating on nice Jean! A quick Google search tells them Jean’s father is loaded and she’s his only heir which is why the Vulture is hell-bent on marrying her. They decide to catch him in the act, tell Jean, and get their venue back. They set up a fake Boink account and contact the Vulture, who immediately responds.

They confront the Vulture and tell him how it’s going to go down: he’s going to nicely break up with Jean, give a generous donation to her charity, and give them their venue back. He refuses, saying he truly loves her even if he does cheat on her with multiple random hook-ups. He says the only way they’ll get their venue back is if they don’t tell Jean about his philandering. Now they’re stuck. And they’ve already called Jean, who shows up at that precise restaurant. The Vulture tells them to act natural and not say a word and the venue is theirs. When Jean sees them she thinks it’s just a nice double date. Jake and Amy, however, are terrible liars and feel bad for Jean. It all comes out. Jean breaks up with the Vulture, and Jake and Amy have to settle for holding their wedding in a rec center on Staten Island.

They’re feeling okay about it all, though, and are determined to make it a great time. Things have turned out pretty good for Boyle and Terry, too. Rosa secretly leaked the dashcam footage showing that Boyle is the true hero of the day and saved Peanut Butter, not the other way around. And Terry decides that instead of throwing a party in hopes that Teri, who he barely knows, will like him, he’ll throw the party in Boyle’s honor.

Bullets on the Bulletin Board:

  • “Wow! Finding a place in the spring in New York is impossible! Sharon and I had to get married in Albany in December. Terry was too cold to consummate.” 
  • “I love our venue so much!” “Me too. It’s like our very own Hogwarts.” “Yes! And I’m Hermione!” “Yes! And I’m Snape.” “Whaaat?”
  • “A horse is a perfect partner. Tough, scary, and they don’t show you 30 pictures of their kid dressed as Wario for Halloween... I’m not talking about Nikolaj.” “I literally just showed you those pictures five minutes ago.” “Really? I don’t remember that.” 
  • “You’re upset because Teri with an 'i' called you arrogant and you have a pathological need to be liked.” “What? No, I don’t! I just happen to be a great person who’s naturally beloved by all, despite my personal ambivalence.”


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