Thursday, June 8, 2017

The Bachelorette Roundtable Weeks 1-3: Taking Stock [Contributors: Chelsea, Alisa, and Rebecca]

It's been a crazy few weeks on this season of The Bachelorette. But your favorite recappers are back to bring you all of the highs and lows! Joining you this week are Chelsea, Alisa, and Rebecca.

I love how Rachel brought her dog to the mansion and is consulting her lady friends from Nick’s season. How do you think Rachel is doing this season? 

Rebecca: I could have done without seeing Corinne again, but I’ll let it slide. However, I was thrilled to see my girls Raven and Alexis! And of course, Copper is absolutely precious.

As far as Rachel goes, she’s the perfect Bachelorette. She’s smart, funny, and always looks beautiful. But most importantly, she’s fair. She doesn’t treat the process like a joke or take advantage of the fact she’s dating 20-something different men. She is good at making each man feel valued and not flaunting her relationships in front of the group. She makes sure she doesn’t play favorites, and that’s something that’s hard to do in her position.

Alisa: Let’s be honest — Rachel is the Bachelorette we always hoped for but definitely don’t deserve. As Rebecca said, Rachel is smart and gorgeous, and best of all she doesn’t put up with any nonsense. So glad she kicked DeMario, Blake, AND Whaboom to the curb. And props to her for bringing adorable Copper along on this adventure. If my dogs don’t get along with a man, he’s not worth keeping around, and I’m glad to see Rachel subscribes to that mentality too. I don’t believe for a second Corinne is a genuine member of Rachel’s girl squad. Clearly, the producers just needed to give her some face time before Paradise, but whatever. It was good to see the rest of the girls living their best lives, wearing adorable ponchos while watching men mud wrestle in their underwear.

Chelsea: Rachel is the adult we’ve been dying to see on this franchise and just do not deserve. She’s basically Wonder Woman. She’s doing a great job of shutting down the drama before it goes too far, but still making the show fun. She is totally me in bringing her dog to the mansion with her and even having him tag along on the dates. I hope his little paw healed well! I’ve loved seeing all the girls return to support Rachel, even Corrine. Last season we did see her and Corinne be friends, and Rachel give her non-condescending advice. The real joy has been seeing Raven and Alexis come back. Raven immediately trying to get the dirt on the guys makes her best friend goals.

Three episodes in and we still have a lot of basic guys in the house. Who’s your favorite guy so far? Least favorite? 

Rebecca: I LOVE Alex, Bryan, and Kenny. I think they’re all so sweet and funny — not to mention good-looking — and I have them all in my top four for our Just About Write fantasy league. Rachel seems to enjoy spending time with them and they all have good chemistry with her. I hate to say it after the “once I go black I won’t go back” comment, but Dean is growing on me, too. My least favorites are Whaboom (thank God he’s gone) and Lee (side note — he’s a racist misogynist). Blake E. was pretty obnoxious too, so I won’t miss him.

Alisa: Okay, well, my favorite guys were Peter and Fred, but poor Fred crashed and burned, and I hope finally has some closure on that 20-year crush he’s been nursing. Go find true love, Fred. You deserve it, but you just gotta recognize it’s not gonna be with Rachel. Sorry, dude. Peter and Rachel have some adorable chemistry going on and I LOVE that they were so open and honest on their one-on-one date, talking about the importance of counseling. Good on them. Kenny is a MAN with a capital "M." Iggy also seems like a really solid guy, and not just because he’s built like The Rock. He seems mature and confident, though he did lose points in my book by badmouthing another guy to Rachel. Will they ever learn?

Least favorite guy is definitely Lee. What an instigator. He’s clearly just there to cause trouble and Rachel ain’t got time for that. She’s here to find true love and so any man that isn’t there for the right reasons needs to leave right now as far as I’m concerned. That goes for whiny, insecure Eric as well.

Chelsea: Okay but I really like Peter, Bryan, and Kenny. I don’t think Kenny will go very far but I love him and the whole sweet dad thing gets to me. Dean came out of nowhere to be really sweet and charming. He stays out of the drama and she seems to have the most fun with him. I had to add him to my final four along with Peter and Bryan. I feel like Peter and Bryan some of the few adults in that house and they have health insurance.

Lee is the WORST of them all. Blake and Whaboom may have been there for the reality fame (c’mon, they did another dating show together), but Lee is a complete racist, misogynist homophobe. He needs to GO. I find it hard to believe the producers didn’t go back a few months on every contestant’s social media and didn’t see his tweets. This is the drama they wanted.

I know Eric is whiny and insecure but I feel like Rachel really likes him. I had him in my final four on week one but I don’t know if I should change that or not. I have a feeling we’re seeing a bad edit of him and Lee.

Dates on this show are always a mixed bag. Best date so far of the season? Weirdest date? 

Rebecca: Okay, so this is probably very selfish, but the Ellen date this episode was my favorite. Obviously, I enjoyed the dance number, but I also loved that they played “Never Have I Ever.” It’s one of my favorite games, and I just think it’s so lighthearted and fun. Honestly, none of the dates have been that weird to me so far, although I would never want to bring along a posse of my beautiful, famous friends along with me on a date, but to each her own.

Alisa: Well the doggie date with Copper was obviously my dream date, and yeah I guess it was cool Peter was there too. It just seemed so genuine and fun. The horseback riding with Anthony (who???) down Rodeo Drive was just WEIRD. And of course the horses were gonna poop in a store. They’re horses! I hope whichever intern thought up that awkward excuse for a date was assigned horse clean-up duty.

Chelsea: I thought the daddy boot camp date was clever, plus having Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher there was super cute. Ellen’s commentary on the guys was a ton of fun (I too do not approve of the tickle monster). The best date of all though is obviously the puppy date with Copper. That’s just my ideal day: in a house full of puppies, snacks, and cute games.

DeMario was a beautiful trainwreck to watch and Rachel interrogating him was everything #BOYBYE. That Rodeo Drive date was completely unnecessary and I can’t even remember which guy she was on the date with. I think I was making popcorn during that date.

There have been a bunch of questionable men this season. Who do you think is Paradise bound?

Rebecca: Oh boy. It seems like this season, I either REALLY like the men or really DON’T; there’s no in-between. That being said, Paradise likes to bring in people everyone hates just to stir up drama (cough cough Chad cough), so I think Whaboom is definitely Paradise bound — and if he’s going, I have a feeling Blake E. will be too. Others I think may make it: Fred, Dean, and I hope Blake K. because he was super cute and we didn’t get enough of him!

Alisa: Well, it’s already been announced that DeMario will be there, which is no surprise. I don’t see him lasting long considering the shady way he left this season. I definitely agree Whaboom and Blake will be there just so they can continue their yell-fest. And I have the sinking feeling Lee will be too, even though at this point the producers can’t claim they don’t know he’s posted some super racist and misogynist comments on the eternal Internet. I hope some good men end up there too like cute Blake K. I also wouldn’t mind seeing more of Iggy and Diggy.

Chelsea: I know they already released a list of people going to Paradise but I get the feeling Dean will be there all cute and brokenhearted. I hope to God that Whaboom and Blake don’t show up. The show is enough of a mess to begin with. Alex seems like the perfect Paradise hottie and would make friends with Alexis really fast. They’re both silly and sweet and I would love to see them hanging out. Blake K. was such a cutie and didn’t get enough of a chance. REPLACE LEE WITH BLAKE K. ASAP!

Fantasy League Results: 

  • Chelsea: 110 points
  • Rebecca: 100 points
  • Alisa: 90 points
  • Rae: 60 points


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