“White Whale”
Original Airdate: May 13, 2018
In the penultimate episode of this season's Brooklyn Nine-Nine, there are only seven days before Jake and Amy’s wedding, which means Amy gets to switch from her month-of binder to her week-of binder (which is somehow bigger?) and she couldn’t be happier. She and Jake only have one day off between now and the wedding, so they have exactly 24 hours to accomplish a huge to-do list. There’s only one slight problem: a con Amy and Rosa have been hunting, who went off the grid seven years ago, has finally resurfaced. Sergio Mendara is a ruthless killer and meth dealer. Jake says not to worry. He’ll handle the wedding stuff so Amy and Rosa can focus on taking down Sergio.
Jake recruits Terry to help him. He has 143 tasks to accomplish and is down to 12 hours to do it in. Terry’s reluctant because he was hoping to spend his day off actually relaxing for once, but he can’t argue with Jake’s compliments about him being the perfect husband and just who Jake needs in his moment of crisis. While Terry helps Jake channel his “groom gut,” Amy and Rosa figure out Sergio is headed back to an old hideout to search for the cash he had to stash before fleeing the country seven years ago. Unfortunately, Sergio is one step ahead just like always, and has left a grammatically incorrect note to taunt them.
Meanwhile, Olivia Crawford, Holt’s primary competition for the commissionership, shows up in the Nine-Nine with bad news. She has a source on the nominating committee that says the job is going to the third candidate, John Kelly. Half the committee is leaning his way, while the other half is split between Crawford and Holt. Realizing they’re splitting the vote, they agree one of them should bow out, but they can’t agree on which one. Crawford thinks Holt should drop out so she can become the first female commissioner (and also because he’s old), while Holt thinks she should drop out so he can become the first openly gay commissioner. Neither is budging. Gina and Boyle suggest Holt start a few false rumors about Crawford to get the committee to swing in his direction, but he doesn’t want to fight dirty.
Things aren’t going well for Rosa and Amy. They track down Sergio’s grandmother in a nursing home to see if she’s seen him but she hasn’t. Rosa is getting frustrated and feels like she’s a worse cop now than their first time going after him. This causes Amy to admit something she’s never told Rosa before: seven years ago when they had Sergio cornered in a warehouse, Amy accidentally let him get away. She was supposed to be covering the back but she thought she heard noise up on the roof and left her post, giving him the chance to slip out. Rosa’s furious and refuses to speak to Amy, but they still have to work together, especially because they just got a tip from one of the nurses that Sergio’s grandmother was just signed out for a physical therapy appointment even though she doesn’t do physical therapy. They head out in silence.
As they’re driving to the supposed appointment, one of the nursing home patients calls Amy to say she just saw a man in the grandmother’s room, digging through her stuff. They race back thinking Sergio must have stashed his money there. He’s gone when they get back, and it’s clear he took something from the wall vent with him. But before they can get too discouraged, the client who called Amy tells them Sergio is in the hallway. They race after him and Amy, in an ill-advised attempt at making up for her mistake seven years ago, jumps off the roof of the nursing home hoping to hit the ground running and cut him off. She misses by a long shot and ends up dislocating her knee as he speeds away.
Rosa tells Amy she was being stupid by trying to make up for letting Sergio get away seven years ago. That’s not even why Rosa’s mad. She’s mad because Amy lied to her. Amy reminds her that they didn’t know each other very well yet when they worked the case before and Amy was really scared of Rosa, which Rosa admits is understandable. As time went by, it just got more and more awkward to bring up. Rosa forgives her and as they’re talking, Amy has an epiphany. The only person who knew they were visiting the nursing home was the nurse who was so helpful to them before. He must be working with Sergio! Rosa, who admitted during their conversation that she was in medical school for three years among other accomplishments, quickly resets Amy’s knee so they can go question the nurse. They pay a visit to his apartment and lo and behold, there’s Sergio! And, finally, after seven years, Amy and Rosa make their arrest.
Back at the precinct, Jake’s accomplished the entire to-do list but realizes he’s gone over budget. In order to help cut costs, he and Terry recruit Hitchcock and Scully to help put together the wedding favors. They’re able to assemble the favors in time to get them to the venue before it closes, but after they finish loading up Terry’s van, Jake realizes he locked the keys inside! It’s a hot day and it doesn’t take long for the chocolate cookies with Jake and Amy’s faces on them to melt. Terry gives Jake a quick pep talk about how trying is the only thing that matters and Amy will know he tried, but Jake takes it completely the wrong way and breaks Terry’s windows so they can retrieve the keys and get to the venue.
Meanwhile, Holt calls Crawford back to his office, and much to the devastation of Boyle and Gina, he tells her that he sent a letter withdrawing his name from consideration. He tells Crawford she’s the type of commissioner he’s always dreamed of having and if he has to withdraw in order to see it happen, then so be it. But Crawford has some shocking news of her own — she also sent a letter withdrawing her name for the same reasons! It seems they’ve just handed John Kelly the commissionership. But Gina says if they can retrieve the letters before anyone reads them, they’ll be saved.
They all quickly head to the mailroom and locate Holt’s letter. Crawford tears it up and Holt asks what her letter looks like. She tells him she withdrew via email (because she’s not a million years old) and that the only reason she even made it this far is because Holt stood up for her at the commissioner’s party a few weeks ago. She wants him to be commissioner and she tells him he better beat John Kelly. He says he will.
Bullets on the Bulletin Board:
- “We only have 24 hours to accomplish a week’s worth of wedding prep. This is what getting married is all about!” “And spending your life with your soul mate.” “Uh-huh.”
- “He’s been in every dream I’ve had for the past seven years.” “Even the one you told me about where you’re riding a giant marshmallow?” “Who do you think was riding the giant jellybean I was chasing?”
- “Yes, that would be vital and important if you weren’t one million years old.”
- “That’s right. You’re looking at a senior queen.” “What is that? That’s not a widely used term.”
- “Are you too old to run?” “Are you too inexperienced to know that power walking is a far more efficient and sustainable method of hurrying?”
- “We only have one option left. You’re going to have to pick up the car and carry it to the venue.” “But how will we get the bags out?” “Is that seriously your only problem with what I just said?” “Pretty much.”
“Jake & Amy”
Original Airdate: May 20, 2018
It’s the season finale and you know what that means: Jake and Amy are finally getting married! Unfortunately, everything is falling apart! Amy’s veil somehow develops a stain so Terry and Rosa rush off to find a dry cleaner that will clean it ASAP. The ring bearer falls ill with the chicken pox, so Jake asks if Holt will allow his dog Cheddar to step in. Holt says Cheddar loves responsibility so he and Gina head off to pick him up. Jake then tells Hitchcock and Scully that the wedding band cancelled last minute and he needs them to find a replacement. This last one was a lie — he just thought the day would go smoother if Hitchcock and Scully were out of their hair.
Just as Jake reassures Amy that she planned the perfect wedding and everything will be fine, he gets a phone call. The caller uses a disguised voice and tells him there’s a bomb at the wedding and it is set to go off at 5:30 p.m., right in the middle of the ceremony. The bomb squad shows up and to Jake and Amy’s shock and annoyance, Amy’s ex-boyfriend Teddy is leading the charge. He says after Amy dumped him for being boring, he leveled up his cool. It turns out he’s still in love with her but he says not to worry, because he’s a professional... which means he’ll do a super thorough sweep of the building, which will take hours, so they should just cancel the wedding. Teddy then proceeds to propose to Amy which is met with a resounding no.
While Jake and Amy attempt to wait out Teddy and the bomb squad, Rosa and Terry have managed to get the veil cleaned. While they wait for their ride, Terry asks Rosa if she’s bringing a date to the wedding but Rosa says no. She’s put dating on hold for a while because she’s getting sick of all the first-date pleasantries and small talk. Terry says the universe has a way of working these things out and just then their driver pulls up (played by Gina Rodriguez!) and she totally starts flirting with Rosa.
When they arrive back at the venue, Terry realizes he left the veil in the car and they’ll just have to call the sexy driver back. He swears he didn’t do this on purpose and that it’s just the universe trying to forge a love connection for Rosa.
Just then, the cake gets delivered, but they can’t take it inside because of the bomb threat so it’s stuck out in the hot sun. Jake says not to worry — he’s going to track down who made the bomb threat, get them to admit it was a prank, and then he and Amy can get married. The phone call pinged near where one of Jake’s arch-nemeses lives. He put Frank Gillespie away a few years ago after first going undercover and becoming the guy’s best friend. Chances are Frank still holds a grudge, and he just got released from prison recently.
Meanwhile, Holt is teaching Cheddar how to trot down the aisle when he gets an email from the commissioner’s office about the job. He decides not to open it because it’s Jake and Amy’s wedding and he doesn’t want to make it about him. Gina recognizes that he’s really just scared to open it. Jake and Amy show up with their cake, hoping to keep it safe in the precinct, and then Jake, Amy, and Boyle head out to find Frank Gillespie.
They knock on his door but it turns out Frank’s dead. He died shortly after getting released, from a broken heart because his best friend (Jake) betrayed him. So, apparently he’s not their guy. Amy realizes that her arch-nemesis, Dario Moretti, lives nearby, too, so maybe the call came from him. When they get to his apartment, they find a creepy shrine to Amy. Definitely seems like he’s their guy. They bring Dario down to talk to Teddy and Dario admits there was never a bomb — he just wanted to ruin the wedding. But Teddy refuses to give up the search.
Rosa and Terry aren’t having much better luck with the veil situation. They track down their driver, and find out her name is Alicia, but the veil’s no longer in her car. She turns out to be super helpful and tells them she only had one customer after them so they go to where she dropped him off. They find the veil, which fell out onto the street and is now covered in grime and smells like urine. But on the other hand, Rosa and Alicia have gotten some prime flirting in and seem to have a real connection going.
Back at the precinct, Gina and Holt have been staring at his phone for who knows how long, trying to decide whether to look at the email about the commissioner job or not. Holt finally decides he’s still not ready and he’ll just grab Cheddar and head to the venue. But they can’t find Cheddar! They race out of Holt’s office to discover Cheddar has eaten the wedding cake.
Speaking of the wedding, Teddy’s still refusing to let them into the venue. He says they have one vent left to check but their camera broke and the vent is tiny so none of his men can get in there, and neither can their robot. Boyle volunteers to go look. After all, it was pretty much his fault about the bomb because he’s the one who put a wedding announcement in the newspaper with the date, time, and address of their wedding. He heads into the vent and there IS a bomb! Dario was just saying there wasn’t so they’d still hold the wedding and Amy would die. It was his daughter who discovered what he’d done and called in the threat in the first place. The wedding is officially off.
Jake and Amy decide they’ll just get married at the courthouse the next day, but Boyle is having none of it. He says the wedding is still going to happen today and he’ll make it so! He rushes out to decorate the parking lot of the precinct and does a spectacular job. Because her veil is ruined, Terry’s fashioned one out of a shower curtain, which Amy wisely declines to wear.
Just then, Hitchcock and Scully show up. They’ve been out all day and they turn up with a street violinist (played by Fred Armisen) who turns out to be amazing. The wedding is back on and it goes beautifully. And Holt has one last surprise: Since Cheddar got sick from all the cake and couldn’t be the ring bearer, Holt borrowed the bomb squad’s robot to carry the rings up the aisle. Jake’s understandably excited.
At the reception afterward, Holt announces he’s ready to read the email. He was inspired by Amy’s vows, which talked about being able to handle anything when you’re with the right person, and Holt knows his team are the right people to get him through whatever the email says, good or bad. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until next season (THERE’S A NEXT SEASON — THANK YOU NBC!) to find out whether Holt got the job or not!
Bullets on the Bulletin Board:
- “His face is too small for his head. He’s a Dick Tracy villain.”
- “Human hair is indistinguishable from badger fur.” “That is absolutely not the case.”
- “Ok, it feels like you googled ‘how to talk to your bisexual friends.’” “Yeah.”
- “How did you get past the police barricade?” “I moved them.”
- “Oh, Cheddar, you furry little pig.”
- “Amy Santiago, I would marry you any time, any place.”
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