Monday, November 7, 2016

Superstore 2x07 Recap: “Election Day” (Voter Fraud and Illegal Aliens) [Contributor: Alisa Williams]


“Election Day”
Original Airdate: November 3, 2016

It’s election day in the latest episode of Superstore and Cloud 9 is an official voting location. Dina and Glenn can’t agree about anything to do with the day, from which way to have the customers line up (past the impulse buys or the big ticket items?) to who gets to officially open the store to let the people in.

When Amy and Jonah arrive at work, they discover that each employee locker has been stuffed with an “Official Cloud 9 Election Guide” that heavily endorses the candidate that will most benefit corporations like Cloud 9. They’re outraged and take the pamphlet to Glenn, but he doesn’t understand what the problem is. He says he likes getting mail, and no one around there reads anything from corporate anyway so it doesn’t matter. Jonah and Amy decide to take matters into their own hands.

Meanwhile, Dina is rallying the employees to vote. She wants 100% employee voter turnout. This poses a problem for Mateo, who recently learned his parents forged his citizenship paperwork when they first came to this country and he’s actually here illegally.

Mateo confesses his problem to Cheyenne. When he tells her he’s an illegal alien, she misunderstands and thinks he’s an alien from another planet. After he clarifies, she doesn’t see what the big deal is. She tells him to just snag one of the “I Voted” stickers and then Dina will never know he didn’t actually vote or that he’s here illegally.

While Mateo figures out how to get himself a sticker, Glenn is trying to get Sid — the poll worker — to like him. He comes up with a carafe of coffee and interrupts Sid and Dina’s conversation, much to Dina’s annoyance. As Sid wanders off to buy himself a Danish to go with his complimentary coffee, Glenn and Dina begin arguing again and in the process, the coffee spills all over the voting machine.

They rush off to Glenn’s office to blow dry the 50 or so ballots that were in the machine and got soaked in coffee. While Dina contemplates the power she has right now by holding 50 ballots hostage, Glenn decides to get an industrial-size fan to speed up the drying process. Unfortunately, as soon as he turns on the fan, the ballots start blowing out the open window.

Jonah and Amy are in the midst of staging their own form of election sabotage. They’ve recruited an apathetic Garrett to help them make their own “official” ballot. Meanwhile, Mateo’s attempt at deceit is not going quite as well. When he asks for an “I Voted” sticker from Dorothy, one of the other poll workers, she refuses. He tries to distract her by saying Josh Brolin is in the store right behind her, but she doesn’t know who that is. Cheyenne tries to help by making him a sticker but he declares it garbage.

While Dina and Glenn are in the back alley looking for the ballots that blew out the window, Cheyenne comes out to throw away some trash. She sees them and waves which sends them into a panic thinking she’s seen something. Later, Dina tries to casually approach Cheyenne to ask if she’s noticed anything suspicious or illegal lately. Cheyenne has no idea what she’s talking about but worries Dina’s figured out Mateo’s here illegally.

Amy and Jonah have finished passing out their fake official pamphlets and are rallying the employees to vote their way. It works, and they head off to the food court to celebrate. While they’re enjoying their success, Jonah’s girlfriend Naomi shows up. We’re all just as shocked as Amy is to learn Jonah has a girlfriend.

While Amy reels from this news, Mateo has spied an “I Voted” sticker in the trash. Just as he goes to reach for it, a fellow employee comes up and dumps nacho cheese sauce into the dumpster. A rat gave birth in the cheese, he explains, and then all the rats died. With that sticker destroyed, Mateo tries to get Amy’s sticker off her nametag by giving her a shoulder massage and slowly reaching down toward the sticker. All he manages to do is touch her breast, much to the horror of them both. He promptly runs off when she questions what he’s doing.

Getting desperate, he approaches Garrett in the staff room and offers to buy his sticker from him. Garrett, who couldn’t care less, takes the money and hands his sticker over. Mateo tries to explain why he needs it but Garrett says he really, really doesn’t care and wheels away.

Meanwhile, Glenn and Dina have gone into damage control about the ballots. They’ve finally accepted that the ballots are ruined and are now worried about being prosecuted for their treachery. Sid has told them that the penalty for voter fraud his $10,000 and five years in prison. They each consult Marcus individually — since he’s the only employee who’s ever been to prison — and he tells them both that he would secretly record the conversation with their partner so the partner goes down for it.

While Glenn and Dina spend the next several hours trying to secretly record each other confessing, voting closes and Sid and Dorothy count the ballots. When they discover there are 53 ballots missing, they’re elated. That’s way down from last year!

Laughable Lines:
  • “I’ve been here since 4 a.m. I’ve already had three meals!” “It’s not even 7! That’s too many meals!”
  • “Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, election day is here and we’re offering up big discounts on all American-made products. That’s 40% off your generic medications, inferior electronics, and cheese curls.” 
  • “A lot of people died so that you could vote. Also, a lot of horses. They always forget about the horses.” 
  • “What?! A corporation doing something unethical to protect its interests? This is shocking!” 
  • “You know it’s funny. I try so hard to keep God out of the work place and yet here I am. In the workplace. And I AM God.”
  • “As I keep telling him, there’s almost no voter fraud in this country. It’s not worth the penalty of...” “$10,000 and five years in prison.” “Did you say ‘prison’ or ‘prism’?” “Why would he say prism? What’s five years in prism?” “Let him answer.” “Prison.” “With an ‘n’ or an ‘m’?” 
  • “Hey, Dorothy. We’re missing 53 ballots.” “Really?! Geez, that’s way down from last time.”

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