Wednesday, January 27, 2016

The Bachelor 20x04 Roundtable Discussion: Will You Marry Other People? (Contributors Rae Nudson & Alisa Williams)

Are we only on episode four? I feel like I’ve been watching Ben be polite for 600 years. This week the women show off their talents to Ben when they open a show in Vegas. Some women feel more talented than others, though, and confidence goes up and down more than the fireworks that Ben and JoJo watch on their date. After the dust settles, there is one meltdown, one puppet kiss, and one less twin. Follow along as Rae and Alisa check in on Ben’s love story once again.

What do you think were the best and worst talents in the talent show?

Rae: Jubilee had a very real talent of playing the cello — is there anything this girl can’t do? (Looks like we’ll find out next week.) She was obviously the best, even though it looked like it pained her to stand up and halfheartedly take a bow. The twins also killed it with their dance, though once again I wish they didn’t go on as a pair.

Olivia was... something. I almost felt bad for her until I realized her plan was to cry and get Ben’s attention that way. She did look quite uncomfortable on stage — maybe if she was nice to the other women they would have helped her think of a routine. If you ask me, though, looking good in a red showgirl outfit should count as a talent all on its own.

Alisa: I have to agree with Rae that Jubilee killed it with her cello playing. And though I have mixed feelings about the twins appropriating the dance of my people for that sad excuse of a date, I do have to begrudgingly admit they did a good job.

Clearly the other girls have talents that are not well-expressed in a talent show environment (one can hope that’s the case anyway), but I give them all an "A" for effort and fearlessness. Except Olivia. Her performance actually didn’t bother me all that much. Sure she was awkward and apparently talentless, but so were most of the other women. What bothered me were all the manipulation tactics afterward and the incessant need to apologize to Ben repeatedly for her awful performance. I don’t think he cared nearly as much as she thought he did, but he sure did care that she kept taking up his time beating a dead horse. So, hey, maybe that’s her talent right there. That or practically unhinging her jaw every time she opens her mouth.

Who would you have sent packing this week?

Rae: I am tired of Olivia’s delusional ranting about body language. We all know she’s not going to end up with Ben, the girls know she’s not going to end up with Ben, and Ben knows she’s not going to end up with Ben. Do us all a favor next week and do not give her a rose. Based on the previews, it looks like Olivia’s vile behavior finally comes to light. Wait, maybe Olivia’s talent should have been driving everyone insane because she excels at it.

The twins are finally split up, and I am relieved but still sort of weirded out he kept either of them. Ben, do not get in between two sisters, it’s gross.

There’s a girl named Leah on this show?

Alisa: So, Ben sent a few girls packing who I hadn’t even realized were still contestants. Then he kept some girl named Jennifer who clearly just showed up in the Vegas hotel room one night and was blindly accepted by the other women as one of their own, because I sure don’t remember her existence.

Other than those random girls who weren’t/aren’t going to make it far anyway, obviously Olivia needs to go already. She added some drama to bland Ben’s season, but enough is enough. I cannot believe Ben kept her after all her shenanigans this episode but it wouldn’t be The Bachelor without poor choices all around, now would it. And those twins. Ben keeping one seriously calls into question his decision making abilities. I mean do you really see yourself with one of them, Ben? Do you? It’s highly doubtful you can even tell them apart when you had to ask their mother about their personality traits and used that to make your decision. “Oh, Emily’s the more outgoing one and Haley takes some time to open up? Guess I’ll keep Emily. Thanks, potential mother-in-law!” Ugh.

Who do you think Ben is feeling the most? 

Rae: Ben is so into Lauren B., and Lauren B. could not bore me more if she tried. She was at the top of my list in the beginning of the season, but the more she talks, the less she says. She’s super cute, though, and Ben is very into making out with her.

Ben called Caila a “sex panther,” which is not something he can say convincingly, and then he gives her such a milquetoast compliment it makes me think Ben has never said anything sexy in his life. But Caila seems nice and fun, and I love how she called out Olivia so often during the group date. Get it, girl.

Alisa: Like Rae said, Lauren B. and Caila are definitely at the top of Ben’s list. Or at least his make-out list. Hearing Ben call Caila a “sex panther” made me want to puncture my eardrums. I don’t know if he had more to drink than usual, or if it’s just already that point in the show where emotions and feelings are running high and so things start to move fast, but either way, Ben suddenly turned into a sexual being this episode and I was more than a little caught off guard.

And his seeming obsession with Becca’s virginity was not attractive. (Can everyone just get over that already, seriously?) I got the impression this episode that he’s looking for a girl who’s very forward with her physicality. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but unfortunately it means the girls who are more reserved like Becca and Jubilee are going to get left without roses in the end. And I’m not okay with him just writing off great girls because they’re not as inclined to get super physical with someone they’ve spent a handful of hours with. Maybe I’m jumping ahead of myself and not giving Ben enough credit, but the previews of him going off on Jubilee have me seriously annoyed.

Who are you feeling the most?

Rae: Jojo seems really great, and I’m glad she got more screen time. She seems very normal, and it seems like the producers were trying to get her to play up the story of her last relationship, which sounds... pretty uneventful. They dated for a year and a half, broke up five months ago, and she’s still not over feeling bad about it, which is totally not weird at all for something that happened within this calendar year. She had a really cute dress during the group date and did a great job getting Olivia to confess her love and then making Olivia look crazy for doing it. For real, are we drafting a team here for the passive aggressive Olympics? These women are champions.

I still love Jubilee, but I get the feeling Ben is getting tired of reassuring everyone he is into them. I’m not sure what will happen next week, but it’s not looking good for our girl. Amanda is exceedingly normal and nice, and bless her for it.

Alisa: I agree that it seems there’s some actual normal girls on this show for once, which bodes well for our normal, albeit boring, Ben. Jojo, Amanda, and the remaining Laurens all seem like fairly well-adjusted and decent human beings. Basically, at this point as long as he doesn’t end up with Olivia or the twin left standing, he should be set for a relationship that at least lasts longer than an average Bachelor/Bachelorette coupling.

Bonus question: What would be your talent if you were performing in the talent show?

Rae: If I somehow made it to week four of this circus, the talent show portion is what would definitely get me sent home. I would refuse to participate, not be able to control my expressions around Olivia, and then get caught loudly talking about how the ventriloquist is weird and not that funny and who even is he anyway? It would be a disaster. If I had to produce a talent... I don’t know. I can type really fast?

Alisa: I would correctly place and locate Indiana on a map, and maybe just for show, the rest of the states as well.


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