Of Internalized Misogyny, Felicity Smoak, and the Importance of "Real" Fictional Female Characters

The vast majority of the comments that Just About Write receives are positive. In fact, I would venture to say that 95% of the over 2,500 comments on our site are constructive and thoughtful, even if they don’t agree with everything we say, point-by-point. And I love discussion, so I always welcome people disagreeing with what we say and how we view things.

But recently, there was a commenter on my Arrow review who talked about how she — yes, she — “hates most hate most women characters on TV.” This commenter then goes on to call female characters “nasty,” “ditzy,” “petty,” “heavily dependent,” “whiny,” “indecisive,” and “catty.” The commenter concludes with this statement: “Real women are not like this.”

Now, setting aside my complete and utter bewilderment that a woman like this actually exists and believes the vitriol she’s typed, that final part of her statement is one that really made for some beautiful irony. Of course real women are like that! Of course each and every one of us has been indecisive about something. We’ve all been catty (I’m saying this as a woman, because I know it’s true of myself — and I try not to be!). We’ve all whined, we’ve all depended on someone else — be it man, woman, friend, parent, loved one, etc. — to compliment us. We have all craved that human acceptance. And yet, for some reason, this commenter believes that real women are not flawed; and that TV characters who are or who make decisions that go against a standard “norm” are useless and worthless.

Moreover, she believes so strongly in this idea that women can only be valuable if they’re on The Walking Dead that she repeatedly uses language to tear other women down. Because this person did not believe in the decision that Felicity Smoak made in “Broken Hearts,” she demonstrated something extremely dangerous: internalized misogyny. Because a female character did something that this commenter disagreed with, she took it as permission to dismiss an entire gender. Apart from the fact that this person is clearly very confused and her remarks become less and less sensible with every word she types, I suspect that she’s not alone in her beliefs. I suspect that because I’ve seen it happen more and more recently in fandoms.

So let’s talk about female characters and, in particular, one character named Felicity Meghan Smoak. Because apparently it’s come to the point in 2016 in which I need to.

FEMINISM DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO LIKE EVERY FEMALE CHARACTER

There’s this startling idea that flits about fandoms, and it’s the notion that in order to be a feminist, you have to like every female character or — at the very least — you have to like them equally. And that’s simply not true. You don’t have to like Felicity Smoak. You don’t have to like Kara Danvers. You don’t have to like Clara Oswald or Abbie Mills or Rebecca Bunch or Olivia Pope or Alex Parrish or Clarke Griffin. Feminism doesn’t mean that every female you come across is inherently on everyone’s “good” list simply because they’re a female.

That’s why writing is so important.

After the little comment-fest on my Arrow review, I further solidified my belief that feminism is the radical idea that women are people — human beings – and deserve to be treated as such. They’re not footstools for men. They’re not emotional punching bags. They’re not pretty props to stand in the background and decorate a scene. They’re not meant to be one half of a ship, or a tool by which to further a male character’s growth. Female characters on television have value because they are PEOPLE. And it is the writers’ jobs on any television show in order to tell their story truthfully and well; just as well, in fact, as they would tell a male character’s story.

That’s where a lot of shows have been stumbling, if we’re really being honest. It’s not always the fault of the female character — it’s the fault of the writer for writing them badly. That is precisely why I so vehemently disliked Clara Oswald in this recent season (really, two seasons) of Doctor Who: the writers threw every shred of character development that made her so endearing, so strong, and so important out the window. They made her regress and become absolutely unbearable and erratic in the way she responded to people and situations. She became emotionally manipulative in her relationship with Twelve (to the point where I was legitimately concerned for people shipping them because of the levels of toxicity present), and the character became absurd and wildly out-of-character given everything we had known of her up until that point.

When the writing of women is bad, it's the characters who suffer.

In this circumstance, did I like Clara Oswald? Absolutely not. The way that she was written was appalling, and her characterization suffered. Am I a bad feminist because I dislike her? Nope. I don’t hate Clara because she’s a woman — I hated her, in the end, because the writers took a beautiful, intelligent young woman and turned her into nothing more than a prop in a relationship and a “twist” in a shoddy story. That’s a reason to get mad, friends! When the writing of women is bad, it’s the characters who suffer.

Disliking a female character is totally okay. But what’s not okay is spewing vitriol or supporting the degradation of them in celebration of a male.

And I think that’s what has bugged me so much about supporters of Oliver in this “baby mama drama” arc on Arrow. For the most part, I’ve seen pretty tame responses and reactions to his characterization and to Felicity’s response, especially after “Broken Hearts.” (I think mainly staying out of the catacombs of the fandom has helped me not lose my entire faith in humanity.)

But I’ve, just recently, literally seen tweets and Tumblr posts and review comments saying that Felicity deserves to apologize to Oliver for the way she behaved — that she should stop being so “whiny” or acting like a “bitch.” Essentially, with this reply, fans are claiming that it is irrational and unacceptable for a woman to express her emotions to a man and for her to make a decision that supports her emotional well-being over his. It’s okay for a man to walk away from a relationship with a woman, but if a woman makes the decision to walk away from a man, all hell breaks loose.

Because essentially what all of these commenters, reviewers, and apparent human beings are saying is that women, in this instance, are supposed to shut their mouths, look pretty, occasionally say some funny lines, and agree with everything the male says and how he treats her. THAT is what is detrimental to feminism, friends, and it’s this kind of thinking that is exceptionally dangerous. Because I understand that there are reasons Oliver lied to Felicity. I get that. I’m not stupid.

However, what I don’t understand is why his lies don’t deserve consequences when the lies of everyone else on this show (and in real life) have actual, lasting consequences.

If you lied to the police, withholding evidence that could help in a vital case, you would be tampering with an investigation. Your decision to withhold something is a conscious one, and it would have an impact on your life and the lives of those around you. Only a person who is out of their mind would say that they didn’t deserve a consequence or some form of punishment for their behavior. And yet, when male characters on television mess up, it’s the women who suffer the wrath of the Internet commenters and the misogynists who think that their role is subservient to the role of a man.

Could Felicity have stayed with Oliver? Sure, she could have. Would that have been in-character with everything we know to be true about her? No. Felicity has proven time and time again that she values honesty. And up until this baby mama drama, Oliver has messed up on occasion and lied, but has always proved his loyalty to her when it mattered. He trusted her; she was his partner, after all. But now, Oliver has a child that he hides from Felicity. Not only that, but he has this entire other piece of his life — a pretty giant piece, mind you — that Felicity is shut out of intentionally.

So think about it this way: you’re in a relationship with someone. You live together. You love this person and are about to marry them. But then you find out they have a child they didn’t tell you about. Moreover, your partner has told other people about this child before they told you. And after you learn of this child, your partner expresses the fact that they want you to be in the loop — they want you to be a part of every piece of their life and the child’s life. So you are still angry at the betrayal, but maybe your heart softens just a bit at this openness and total honesty about being included. That is, until you walk in on your partner making a decision about this child and not — once again — telling you in any way, shape, or form. You didn’t need to be making a decision with him, or holding his hand as he did. He didn’t need to ask your permission. You didn’t need to have any say in this child’s future.

All you needed from your partner was the assurance that you matter enough to him or her that they would tell you about this other big piece of their life — that they trusted you enough to tell you what was going on in their mind and heart.

So how might you feel, then, after discovering this slight? A bit stung and hurt? Betrayed? Manipulated?

That’s exactly how Felicity felt when she walked in on Oliver creating a tape for William without even mentioning it to her. “How much of that did you hear?” he asks, wearily, because once again Oliver has said Felicity is the most important thing to him, but keeps rebuffing her and pushing her aside as if she’s a nuisance, not a partner. Oliver waxes poetic about Felicity being the one he trusts most and his eternal partner, but that’s not really true at this point. The only person Oliver completely and totally trusts is himself. And you know what? Sometimes Oliver shouldn’t trust himself or his instincts. Because sometimes they’re just plain bad. But instead of inviting Felicity into a big part of his life — instead of showing her that she’s his partner rather than telling her — he shuts her out.

It’s like Oliver is holding out a set of keys to Felicity, and telling her that she has his whole trust and his whole future and his whole life... but he’s not loosening his grip on one key. You can’t really have someone’s complete and total trust if you’re constantly holding a key back from them. “Everything else you can have,” Oliver is essentially telling Felicity. “... But I can’t trust you with this.”

Ouch.

WHY WOMEN WHO EXPRESS EMTOIONS AREN’T WHINY

I express emotions by crying. A lot. I’ll cry at a great commercial (those of you who live in the southeast United States and have seen Publix commercials? Yup. They get me nearly every time), a cheesy rom-com, or a really powerful television scene. Thank goodness that not once in my life has someone seen me crying, walked up to me, pointed to my tears and said: “Stop whining. You can’t be a strong woman anymore if you do that.”

There’s this really weird, really problematic idea that people hold in their hearts and it’s that a strong woman is someone who doesn’t break down, who’s never scared, and who fearlessly faces zombies or monsters or evil villains with whatever weapon she’s proficient at. This is a problematic mindset, if you couldn’t tell, because it reduces women to physicality. It emphasizes one “strength” of a woman.

Let me ask you all something: is your favorite male character strong because of his physique? Is Captain America a hero because he has a cool shield? Are Superman and Batman heroic because of their costumes? Does Oliver Queen beg for us to like him and relate to him and care about him because he’s really good at shooting arrows into people? Of course not. That would be absurd. We care about these male characters because they embark on the typical hero’s journey, and they become better people, more resilient, and well-rounded because of it.

Well-rounded people — and well-rounded female characters — are not one-note. That’s literally the definition of well-rounded: “varied or balanced.”

But when Felicity Smoak expresses emotion on Arrow, suddenly she cries too much. She complains too much. “She should just be happy,” I’ve heard some people reason, “that she’s even there.” Well-rounded people — and well-rounded female characters — are not one-note. That’s literally the definition of well-rounded: “varied or balanced.” A character cannot be one thing all of the time. Imagine Arrow with John Diggle only bellowing his lines in anger. Apart from doing a number on David Ramsay’s voice, we would lose a lot of what makes Diggle such a great character — his compassion, his wisdom, his sarcasm — if he was simply angry!Diggle all the time.

And the same is true of female characters.

I don’t think they want to admit it, but the people who are calling Felicity names and who are irritated by the way she made an adult decision in walking away from a relationship in which she felt she was being mistreated (which, by the way, if you’re being mistreated in a relationship, you don’t owe ANYONE an excuse for walking away from something you feel is harming you) like their Felicity Smoak one-dimensional. They like her as the quirky blonde IT girl who wears pretty dresses and makes innuendos. Once Felicity begins making her own decisions — ones that counteract what a male decides for her — these people are appalled. How dare a woman tell Oliver off. How dare she walk away from a team that supported her. How dare she have an opinion of her value and her worth that contradicts Oliver’s.

How dare she. Really.

Here’s something that I briefly touched upon a few sentences ago: Felicity walks away from this relationship because she feels it is harming her more than it is helping her. I’ve known some people in real life who were able to forgive a partner who cheated, move on, and heal from that betrayal while remaining in the relationship. I know some people who cannot do that either because their partner is unwilling to change or they, themselves, are unable to heal from the wound that infidelity caused. Who is right in this circumstance: the person who stayed, or the one who walked away?

She needs to heal, and healing — in this instance — means walking away. And that’s okay, because it is HER decision and one that she did not take lightly.

Time’s up! The answer is BOTH. Both people did what they believed was best for them and their relationship. Some relationships can survive betrayals of trust like that and emerge stronger, as long as both parties are willing to compromise. Some cannot. Oliver is not willing yet to open back up his heart and trust to Felicity, and Felicity isn’t going to sit around, twiddling her thumbs, continuing to be lied to and kept out of the loop simply because Oliver says things will be different. She needs to heal, and healing — in this instance — means walking away. And that’s okay, because it is HER decision and one that she did not take lightly. She’s not being vindictive here. She’s not saying: “You hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you right back.”

She’s telling Oliver that in order to win back her trust, he’s going to need to prove he wants it, not with words but with actions. And it would be immensely cruel of her to be at his side, every single day, when he still loves her and she loves him. So she’s erasing herself from the narrative for now. And when she’s ready to reinsert herself into Oliver’s life, she will. But not until he proves that he deserves it.

Just like Eliza Hamilton made the decision in the musical Hamilton to put herself back in the narrative, so will Felicity Smoak. But it will be HER decision to make.

WOMEN DESERVE AGENCY. PERIOD.

The one positive thing that I will say about this whole horrendous “baby mama drama” on Arrow is that it gave Felicity agency. It didn’t strip her of her free will. The show may have done Felicity wrong in ways this season and last, but it let HER be the one to decide her fate. A decision wasn’t forced upon her. She wasn’t just the object of someone’s lie. She was the active participant, not a passive piece of scenery.

The moment that women make their own decisions in narratives rather than stories and things just happening to them, a section (surprisingly large) of people suddenly become annoyed. The character goes from being “strong” to “irritating,” or from “awesome” to “whiny.” Women don’t always make the right decisions. And that’s okay. I don’t agree with a lot of what Laurel Lance has done in the last few seasons. Do I think that she deserves to have the agency to make her own decisions, whether great or horrible? Yes. Absolutely. Laurel gets a lot of flak from the fandom. And I admit that I’m not always her greatest fan.

But I actually do appreciate her.

Because no matter how many times this woman gets knocked down, she’s stubborn and resilient and will keep picking herself back up. She’s often brash and irrational in the way that she does things. She can be reckless and selfish and you know what? That’s awesome. We need all kinds of female characters — from the ones who are selfless, to ones who are selfish; we need women who are snappy and witty and those who are gentler. We don’t need an entire show of Felicity Smoaks because not EVERY woman is like Felicity. Some women relate extremely well to Laurel. I, in fact, relate to the aspect of her character who is a big sister. That’s something that I connect with when it comes to her. I can’t relate to Felicity in this regard because she’s not a sibling or a protective older sibling. I am.

So we need women who break down and who get angry and who cry. We need women who kiss and who hug and who love with their whole hearts. We need women who are stubborn and selfish, ones who will kick and scream until the world listens to them.

So we need women who break down and who get angry and who cry. We need women who kiss and who hug and who love with their whole hearts. We need women who are stubborn and selfish, ones who will kick and scream until the world listens to them. We need women like this because women on television should reflect women in real life. So we need women of all ages, ethnicities, sexual orientations, religious beliefs, economic circumstances, and familial backgrounds on television. Why? Because if there are women we see in our everyday lives who aren’t reflected on television, then how will we relate to or connect with those stories? How will they resonate and permeate our hearts fully?

Like I said above, this doesn’t mean we will love or connect with every woman on television. I never liked Lexa on The 100, because I found her story to be rather weak. The writers never gave me a compelling enough reason to care about the character. But I know people who gleaned something very real and very personal from that character. I said before that I don’t like the way that Doctor Who regressed Clara (and female character regression is something else entirely, but we don’t have time to get into that debate), but I know people who connected with her. See? Even when writers tell really bad stories, something human within them can still resonate with an audience if the performer is powerful enough.

I don’t always connect with Laurel or Thea, but last year I didn’t always connect with Felicity. I can’t relate personally to Rebecca Bunch and her antics, but I can feel her pain as if it was my own. I love Kara Danvers and I love Jessica Day. I don’t know how I feel about Elektra on Daredevil or Julia on The Magicians yet.

Women are valuable because they’re human beings.

But I see every female character as something special, not because I will love every single one of them, but because somewhere in the world, that character is representative of a young woman watching television or powering on her laptop. Women are valuable because they’re human beings. We don’t always say or do the right things. Sometimes we’re really, really good at giving advice and sometimes we’re really bad. Sometimes we have snappy retorts, and sometimes we stay quiet. Sometimes we whine, we stomp our feet, and sometimes we valiantly go to (literal or metaphorical) war. We can be catty and petty at times, but we can also be extremely loving and gracious and loyal. We were not created by God to prop up man; we were created to walk side-by-side with him as his equal and his partner. We are not inferior. We are not dismissible. We are not here for you to objectify, and we’re certainly not here for you to toss your emotional baggage onto and expect us to silently suffocate beneath the weight of your issues.

We are strong not because of the weapons we wield, but because of the ways we encounter circumstances and make difficult decisions and prevail, in spite of odds and obstacles.

We’re women.

Respect us.

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Series - In Style: Felicity Smoak of "Arrow" [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

Last month, Rae debuted a new series at our website titled "In Style" in which she creates look boards inspired by some of her favorite television fashionistas. Her first post on Hannibal's Alana Bloom can be found here. In honor of #CountdownToArrow, Rae will be doing a few special Arrow-specific posts. And, to help celebrate Felicity Smoak Appreciation Day, here's her article about Felicity Smoak! 

Felicity’s clothes, like the woman herself, are flawless. She always knows exactly what to wear, whether it’s a business meeting or a date — or a business meeting that doubles as a date. Her life may be constantly about to fall apart, but her outfits make her feel more together. They are coordinated and classic while still being completely on trend. Felicity wears a lot of bright colors because she’s the light on Arrow — not just for Oliver, but for everyone. The patterns and colors she wears are fun and powerful, just like she is. And her clothes have only gotten bolder as the series has gone on, and this perfectly parallels the fact that she, as a character, has gotten bolder too. She’s not afraid to fight for what she needs, and she’s not afraid to stand out in a bright dress and bright lipstick. Felicity is sure of her worth, and that comes across very clearly in the way that she prevents herself, especially through her sense of style. She takes care of herself, dresses with precision, and looks great while she’s battling whatever life (or the villain of the week) throws at her.

For work, especially since she joined the executive level at a company, Felicity is more often than not in a classic dress that is more formal than the skirts and button-ups that she used to wear in her IT days. When she’s in the Arrow cave, she is still professional, but this environment also allows for a bit more of a personal twist. Her crop tops are so perfect, honestly. And I feel like Felicity is the kind of woman who dresses extra cute when she needs an emotional boost. One thing I especially love about the way that Felicity dresses is that she so often wears her hair back and up in a ponytail. That choice in hairdo conveys that she is focused and practical, and that wherever she is, she is there to do hard work. After all, when you are hunched over a computer for hours saving the world, sometimes you just have to get your hair out of your face. (Aside: I love the Black Canary, but how many women would honestly fight crime with long hair flying around? A villain could grab onto that!)

But Felicity still knows when to let her hair down and she definitely knows how to get dressed for fun — it’s not all work for Felicity without any play. For a date with Oliver, of course, she brings out a killer (or Smoakin', if you prefer) red dress.

We keep hearing from the producers that season four of Arrow will be a bit lighter, less depressing and dark than the season before. And I hope that this season’s more playful and relaxed attitude is also reflected in Felicity’s wardrobe. What I sincerely hope with all my little shipping heart is that we see Felicity in more date night outfits with Oliver. So, now that we've discussed Felicity's impeccable style, you're probably wondering what you can do to imitate her look. While we can't quite tell you where you can find your own Oliver Queen, we can give you some style suggestions for how to dress like Felicity, practically, in your own life! I’ve put together some outfits which will hopefully serve as inspiration for how you can dress like her:

In order to become your own Felicity Smoak, I’d recommend bold colors, crop tops and pencil skirts, a closetful of pitch-perfect coats, and always having a knockout dress in your best color ready to go in your closet. When, exactly, should you use imitate Felicity's look? I recommend that you dress like Felicity when you need to do your best at a high-stress job, make everyone fall in love with you, and when you’re following your heart.

Additionally, if you have ever envied any of the awesome jewelry that Felicity Smoak has worn on the show, a majority of her pieces come from a designer named Peggy Li. Peggy is super sweet and a supporter of our website! Jenn owns a pair of her drusy earrings in blue (the bronze version is one Felicity wears in the show). Be sure to check out her designs and buy them. Peggy's packaging is super cute and her Instagram is lovely, too! :)

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#CountdownToArrow: Ten Best Felicity Smoak Moments

Around here, we love Felicity Smoak.

Oh, sure, we appreciate and care about other characters, too. Some of us are fans of Laurel Lance, some aren't as much. Some of us love Thea Queen and some feel a bit more ambivalent. Some are die-hard Sara Lance fanatics, and some of us don't feel as passionately. But there is one character that each one of us who consider ourselves to be Arrow fans can agree on: Felicity Megan Smoak. Whether we fell in love with her during "Lone Gunmen" or "The Odyssey," or somewhere in between, the truth remains that Felicity is the kind of character we all gravitated towards. She's a brilliant, blonde, beautiful ball of light in a show that -- for quite a long time -- was overwhelmed with darkness and dinginess. But it's not just that Felicity is the light to Oliver's darkness or that she's an eternal optimist with the hacking skills to rival anyone else's. It would be easy to say that we love Felicity because she's bubbly or because she's good.

We love Felicity because she's strong. Because she's capable. Because she's flawed. And yet she's still completely relatable. We want to be her friend. We understand why Oliver Queen loves her -- we understand why simply because we do too. And to kick off our month of #CountdownToArrow, we thought we would take this opportunity to talk a bit more about Felicity Smoak. In fact, we're going to spend pretty much the entire day talking about her in some way or another. Each of the major characters will have their own days to shine, so don't worry if you're fans of Laurel, Oliver, Diggle, or Thea. 

But for now, let's tell you a bit more about why we love Felicity so much by counting down what we believe are ten of her best/most memorable moments. Feel free to add your own in the comments below or tweet us. We know there are a TON more but these are just a few of the writers' favorites! (And they're in no particular order, by the way.)

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In Appreciation of the Everyday Heroine

I’m going to admit something rather important to you, so lean in close.

The idea of going to a kickboxing class at my gym kind of terrifies me.

I mean, it sounds like fun. A part of me always scans the class schedule and thinks that maybe one day I’ll try it. Maybe one day I’ll show up to the Boot Camp class that LA Fitness has and feel like a warrior princess or something. More often than not though, I end up on an elliptical or in the back of the Latin Zumba class trying desperately to pretend that I’m not as white as I really, really am. Because the fact of the matter is that I’m not really a super confident girl, especially when it comes to classes at my gym. I don’t have a six pack. I’m laughably terrible at push-ups. If I tried to kick someone hard enough to be effective, I might actually injure myself instead of them.

But I’m not weak.

I’m just not a personal trainer.

And for me, that’s completely okay. Sometimes I daydream about what it would feel like to be a heroine in an action movie or television series. I watch the stunts on Arrow and I marvel, slack-jawed, at how utterly COOL it looks when Caity Lotz wields her bow staff. It’s quite beautiful, actually. I got like, actual chills when Roy, Oliver, and Laurel leapt from the roof in Starling City and swan-dove toward the end of last season. It was just an amazing visual, really. And there’s no doubt in my mind that Laurel Lance and Sara Lance and Thea Queen are heroines. They’re not perfect. In fact, they’re far from perfect. They’re all broken, fragile things. Sometimes they’re sharp, uncomfortable even because of the shards of glass poking from them. But beneath it all, I truly believe both women to be heroines. They take charge of their own destinies. They need men sometimes: to pull them back from the edge, to talk sense into them, to lean on for support, to vent to. I’m not in the camp of “a strong female character has to be completely independent from any man.” Men and women need each other. It’s as simple as that.

But there’s something dangerous that has been percolating in conversations recently, especially in regards to Arrow and it’s this: it’s that if a woman is lacking a mask or a costume, she is not a hero. That somehow Lois Lane isn’t as strong as Superwoman. Or that Felicity Smoak isn’t as heroic as Black Canary. The moment we begin to elevate one type of character above another and label their actions “heroic” and another’s identical actions as “normal” is the day we completely miss the point of what being a hero really means.

Logically, most of us know that masks or costumes don’t make people heroes. But that’s… also kind of what television, comics, and movies perpetuate, isn’t it? Bruce Wayne isn’t that impressive; Batman is. We adore Barry Allen but we label him “heroic” whenever he’s wearing a bright red suit. Superman is JUST a guy… until he dons a cape and then he’s a hero. Okay, class, pop quiz time: what is the reason that superheroes have secret identities in shows/movies/comics? Time’s up. The reason that heroes have secret identities is because they don’t want their nemeses to be able to identify them. And so they have these secret identities to blend in. They adopt them so they can remain unassuming. So that no one will suspect there is anything remotely special about them.

(Which, I could write an entire paper about but I’ll refrain.)

And so we’ve come to associate a person in “normal” clothes as a regular, ordinary, unsuspecting human being. And we’ve come to label the one with the mask or the suit as the “hero.” They’re the same person, mind you: Barry Allen does nothing besides change clothes to become The Flash. (What’s so refreshing is that The Flash identified this problem toward the end of their season, when Joe essentially told Barry that he’s always been a hero in his own right, not because he puts on a red suit and runs really fast, but because of his spirit and personality and convictions. God bless The Flash is all I have to say.)

And so, when there was an interviewer at Comic-Con who directly implied that Felicity Smoak (Arrow) could not be a hero because she was the only one without a mask or a suit, most of my Twitter timeline was – rightfully so – enraged. Emily Bett Rickards, who I’ll talk about momentarily, did a fantastic job over the last three years of portraying a normal young woman thrust into extraordinary circumstances who earns the favor of those around her, grows as a result, and learns more about herself in the process. Felicity doesn’t wear a mask. She doesn’t need to. She’s earned the reverence of everyone she has encountered – good or evil, mind you – without one. She’s a heroine in this show, on equal footing with Katana and Black Canary and White Canary and Speedy and The Arrow and whatever-Diggle-will-be-called and Arsenal.

Felicity doesn’t need a mask or superhero suit to be a hero.

And neither do you.

Your superhero suit is your own skin. Do you feel comfortable in it? Do you feel powerful in it? Do you feel strong in it? Good. You should. As women, we often don’t. I have bad days. I have really bad days. I have great days. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I wish I could change everything about myself, from my nose to my stomach and everything in between. But the days where I remember that I’m strong and I’m capable and I have purpose are the days I feel like I could conquer the world.

Some heroines wear masks. Some wear suits. Some wear flip flops and big sunglasses and fur coats. Some can shoot a gun. Some can do complex math in their heads. Some can memorize scientific formulas. Some know the perfect way to calm down children and some can cook an amazing meal without glancing at a recipe once. And the moment we place one type of woman above another – or one type of men above women – is the day we do nothing more than tear another person or group of people down.

So no, dear friends: those who wear masks aren’t heroes because they wear masks. Those who can fight with a bow staff, who can shoot an arrow with accuracy, or can run faster than the speed of sound are not heroes simply because they can do those things. They’re heroes because of who they are, not what they wear. Women who wear masks can be heroes or villains; they can be complex or one-dimensional. Women who don’t wear masks can be heroes or villains; they can be complex or one dimensional. Men who wear masks can be heroes or villains; they can be complex or one-dimensional. Men who do not wear masks can be heroes or villains; they can be complex or one-dimensional.

… Did I get my point across yet?

Before I wrap this post up, let’s examine some heroes, shall we? Since the comment that started this blog post/soap box leap was in regards to Felicity Smoak’s rather normal (and, apparently, to the reporter, completely un-heroic) existence, I thought I would examine some “everyday” heroines from my favorite televisions shows. I’ll attempt to be brief because there are a lot of them to cover.

Felicity Smoak (Arrow)

Why she’s a hero: Felicity Meghan Smoak is my favorite character on Arrow and one of my favorite characters – and favorite female character – on television right now. She can’t shoot a gun, presumably, and she has basic self-defense skills that have saved her life. But she doesn’t wear a mask. She doesn’t go out in the field to fight. She saved John Diggle’s life by hitting Isabel with a van, not by battling her in some stunning fight sequence. Felicity is normal. She’s layered and complex and emotional. She’s really good at what she does and the reason why she’s a hero is because she constantly spurs everyone to be greater, to be better and she does so with compassion, humility, and often tough love. Villains respect her and bend to her will (Malcolm Merlyn, Slade Wilson, and Ra’s al Ghul all paid her compliments and respect.) In fact, the reason that Felicity was able to help defeat Slade Wilson was simply BECAUSE of the fact that people underestimate her capabilities as a woman and fighter.

Felicity isn’t perfect and I love that about her. I love that she’s not always right and that she’s occasionally really stubborn. I love how she constantly fights for the happiness of others and for herself. I love that Oliver loves her because of her heart and her mind and her soul and everything she is and can be to him. I love that Felicity bonds with the women in her life and she doesn’t exist to prop them up or to tear them down, but to simply BE. Felicity is a hero because she has an amazing heart and she will always fight for the good things in the world.

Iris West and Caitlin Snow (The Flash)

Why they’re heroes: Caitlin and Iris don’t have superpowers (okay, well, technically the former will at some point but file that plot point in the back of your mind for the time being) and that’s what I love about them. Iris is just really passionate about her job and so is Caitlin. They’re both incredibly smart women who care about the men who surround them – who take care of them a lot but who also are unafraid to stand alone when the men are being idiots. Caitlin is a hero because she uses what she knows to help the world around her become better. Iris is a hero because she constantly battles the things in life that are unacceptable. She’s a hero because she expects everyone around her to be better – for the world to be better – and does whatever she can to help make it so.

Annie Edison, Britta Perry, Shirley Bennett (Community)

Why they’re heroes: God, I love the women of Community. Annie Edison is a hero because she loves and cares about other people so genuinely and because she’s seen so much bad in the world and yet continues to believe in hope and optimism. She’s not naïve – she knows that life isn’t perfect and she doesn’t expect it to be, but she ALWAYS challenges others to be the best and challenges herself to be, too. (She and Iris would get along swimmingly.) She’s an overachiever because she knows her value. She’s a perfectionist because she cares deeply. She’s lovable because she loves. In a world of cynicism, it’s heroic for Annie to be the optimist.

Britta Perry is heroic because she’s challenged herself and found her own worth outside of relationships and outside of school and outside of her friendships. She’s chosen to stand alone, even when it was difficult and even when others made fun of her. Heroism is looking down the barrel of a terrifying experience and choosing to stand instead of hide in shame or embarrassment. Britta is that woman.

Shirley is a hero because she cares about others more than she cares about herself, sometimes to a fault. She’s heroic because she protects other people in love. She is unafraid to call people out on when they’re wrong. She’s unafraid to step into the unknown without a safety net. And she chooses to stand by her faith and convictions when the world tells her that she’s insane. That is completely and utterly admirable.

Jane Villanueva, Petra Solano, Xiomara Villanueva, Alba Villanueva (Jane the Virgin)

Why they’re heroes: These woman are AMAZING heroes. Xiomara is heroic because she had and cared for Jane as a teenager. She became a mother and that experience morphed her from a child into an adult. And as an adult, Xiomara continues to be heroic by sacrificing for her family and Jane and providing all she can for them while still having the courage to chase her own dreams. Alba is courageous because of her faith and her hope – she believes in God and a plan and to choose to be dedicated to that in a world where life doesn’t make sense sometimes is really heroic and admirable. Petra is a hero because even though she often makes mistakes and takes what she wants by force, she loves deeply and is vulnerable. It is heroic to love – to put your heart on the line for someone else without knowledge of how they’ll return your affection. And Jane Villanueva. Boy, Jane is a hero. She’s flawed and stubborn and utterly wonderful. She’s compassionate. She’s sweet. She’s kind. She’s proof that heroes wear dresses and go to church and laugh and cry and kiss and love. Jane is proof that heroes are products of how they act in their circumstances, even when the circumstances are overwhelming.

April Carver (Chasing Life)

Why she’s a hero: Okay, all of the women on Chasing Life are heroes but I’m just going to take a few seconds to focus on April Carver, whose heroism is exemplified in how much she loves and cares for and protects her family. She’s strong not because she never breaks down (she does) or makes a mistake (she does). Heroism isn’t defined by how many mistakes you make or fights you get in. It’s defined by how you let your experiences shape you. And April lets having cancer shape her and mold her until she’s broken down… and then she gets up. Repeatedly. She’s a hero because she’s proof that bad circumstances don’t have to cripple you. Horrible news is not the end of the sentence. Even when you’re tired from fighting and feel like you can’t stand one more moment, April holds her head up higher, arches her back straighter, and looks her fears directly in the eyes, challenging them gaze for gaze.

THAT is heroism.

Jessica Day and Cece Parekh (New Girl)

Why they’re heroes: Jessica Day is good at her job. She puts herself out there, even though she’s been hurt by men before. She loves and she’s unafraid to be weird. She’s loving and shows her love by standing beside people who she considers to be friends. That’s heroic. Jessica Day is always on your team if she’s your friend and when the world is full of people who constantly waffle, friendship is a pillar of heroism. Cece is such a hero because she doesn’t let the expectations other people have of her determine who she’s going to be. She’s beautiful but she lost her passion for modeling and for being just a pretty face. Instead, she decided she wanted to try a new job and go back to school. She willingly put herself in an uncomfortable situation because she knew she deserved more out of her life and she was willing to be uncomfortable in order to get it. HEROIC.

Paige Dineen (Scorpion)

Why she’s a hero: Paige Dineen is the only non-genius on Team Scorpion, but she’s a hero. She’s a mother, which makes her a heroic person already, but the way that Paige mothers Ralph – by trying to understand him and do what’s best for him even when it’s difficult for her – is beautiful. She commands and leads, even though she doesn’t have as high of an IQ as Ralph. The series presents her as just as valuable as any other member of the team. Emotional intelligence is heroism, you guys.

Kimmy Schmidt (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt)

Why she’s a hero: Kimmy Schmidt faced HORRIBLE circumstances and she could have let those cripple her. She could have curled up and accepted her fate. But she didn’t. Because Kimmy believes in bright colors and in not accepting defeat. She fights for other people to achieve their dreams, even if she has only just met them. She genuinely cares and that’s so refreshing. In a world of darkness, Kimmy stands out as this neon, bright spot. Because to her, that is what life is all about: embracing who you were meant to be and never backing down because of what life throws at you or what other people do to you.

Leslie Knope, Ann Perkins, April Ludgate, Donna Meagle (Parks and Recreation)

Why they’re heroes: Leslie Knope is honestly the hero we all deserve. She’s resilient and optimistic. She’s lovable and loving. She’s smart and she’s capable. She’s a beautiful tropical fish. And the reason we all love Leslie Knope isn’t because she wears a mask or a superhero suit. It’s simply because she uses her passions and talents to make the world around her better. THAT is heroic – to stand up, proud of who you are and what you have accomplished – when others command you to sit. Leslie is one of the most heroic characters on modern television because she’s so layered and complex, so wonderful and so very good at what she does. Ann is a hero because she chooses every day to be herself, to love herself, and to be an amazing friend. April is heroic because she doesn’t let other people warp her into who she’s “supposed” to be. She stands on her own. She embraces cynicism but does so in a way that causes her to grow as a person and a friend, wife, and mother. She loves her weirdness. And Donna Meagle is a hero because she realized it’s possible to be the strongest version of yourself while also being in love.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s theme song sings: “females are strong as hell,” and I have to agree. Women and men aren’t heroic because of what they wear or don’t wear. They’re not esteemed by audiences because of the color of their suit or the way they wield weapons. While we admire them for their skills, talents, and abilities, heroes are heroes on television not because of marks or costumes but because of their hearts and their souls.

I appreciate the everyday heroine, because they’re not ordinary.

They’re extraordinary.

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Strong Women Series #1: The Women of 'Arrow'

 

STRONG WOMEN SERIES #1: The Women of Arrow

When I was at LeakyCon, there was a panel titled "Leading as a Lady." At this panel, a handful of female actresses from all mediums -- television, web, movies -- had the opportunity to discuss what it is like to be a woman in their craft. It was an enlightening panel, as everything from racial identity to sexism was discussed. But one of the most interesting questions at the panel and one that has resonated with me ever since was this: "Do you think 'strong, female character' has become a buzz word in the business?" It was an interesting question and one that piqued my interest at the panel. I had to wonder... is it true? Has the phrase "strong, female character" become a fad? Or, worse, has it become just a string of words that people tack onto a character description without fully recognizing what they mean? Is "strong, female character" the new "gluten-free"?

I said in the opening of my Mona Vanderwaal Appreciation Post that I like my villains the same way I like my Starbucks order (complex), and the same holds true for not just villains but heroes as well. I like complex characters. I like layered characters. I like rooting for a character and watching them stumble; I like hating a character and watching them prove me wrong. As a woman who avidly watches television critically because she has a background in English and therefore cannot help but see characters and story as anything but complex, I've become frustrated when those who write about television completely dilute what the phrase "strong, female character means." When I become enraged, however, is when these people only classify certain females as strong and deem others to be weak or inconsequential simply because they do not fit a stereotype or a preconceived notion.

Before I get to the ladies of Arrow, let me first attempt to define what makes a "strong, female character" and why this terminology is constantly misused and mishandled within the scope of pop culture criticism. In order to explain what a strong female is, let me first explain what she is NOT: a woman is not strong because she wields a weapon; a woman can be strong if she wields a weapon but that is not what classifies her as "strong." A strong woman is not someone who merely serves to overpower men or take their positions of authority. In example: Oliver Queen still has near-ultimate authority in Team Arrow, but Felicity Smoak is a strong female character without ever directly opposing him or overpowering his position as "leader." A strong female character is not just a person who yells or who sits on a throne or who knows how to put a man in a headlock. We tend to think of "strong" as a masculine term which is problematic when we attach it to the phrase "female character," because then the presumption is that a woman has to have the physical strength or stamina or attributes that a man does in order to be worthy of the term. (And this is understandable because when you look up the word "strong" in Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, the first definition references physical strength.)

But what if... what if the phrase "strong, female character" simply meant "a complex, multi-layered female character who does not serve as a prop for a story, but an anchor." Strong women can be vulnerable. Wow, that's shocking, right? Strong women can be romantic. Again: are you surprised? Strength is not inherently tied to invincibility, nor should it be. A woman should be considered strong if she triumphs in the face of adversity, no matter what that looks like. She should be considered strong if she is flawed -- if she falls and makes mistakes and sometimes says the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong moment. A woman should be considered strong if she changes the course of her own future and destiny. A woman should be considered strong if she allows herself to love and to be loved because when you fall in love, you are allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable and that kind of decision requires enormous strength.

Are you beginning to see a clearer picture of this "strong, female character"? If Hollywood wants to present us with these types of women -- these multi-layered, complex heroes and villains and antiheroes -- then I would not be more thrilled to embrace them. But -- and this is a BIG but -- if Hollywood continues to decide that in order to placate women, they must construct a "strong, female character" and do so by handing a female character a gun or a sword, slapping a label on her one-dimensional personality and calling it good, then I will continue to take offense. Give me Felicity Smoak. Give me Leslie Knope. Give me Jessica Day and Merida from Brave and Donna Paulsen. Give me Abbie Mills and Laurel Lance and Annie Edison and Elizabeth Keen. Present me with examples like Lizzie Bennet, Emma Woodhouse, Clara Oswald, and Moira Queen. Take women like Thea Queen and Britta Perry, Lindsay Monroe, Sara Lance, Liz Lemon, and Monica Geller and show them to me -- all of their faults and flaws, their hang-ups and quirks, their strengths and weaknesses and let me embrace them. Because within each of those women listed is a kernel of strength that blossoms and grows because it is unique, just like them.

Those, dear friends, are the "strong, female characters" I need to see more of. And, transitioning away from my diatribe of an introduction, let's discuss some of the characters that I noted above from The CW's colossal hit Arrow. Each woman at the beginning of the post is is strong: Laurel, Felicity, Sara, Moria, and Thea alike. Their strengths are rooted in different facets of their personality, so if you don't mind, I would like to take time throughout this post to explain what each of those facets are. Ready? Let's do this.

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Character Appreciation Post: Felicity Smoak ("Arrow")

At LeakyCon, I had a discussion with the cast of Emma Approved about the term “strong female character.” It’s a word that was thrown around in a panel earlier that afternoon, but it’s also a term that not many people understand. As we discussed the characters in the series, Joanna Sotomura and Dayeanne Hutton talked about Harriet Smith as a character. When I noted that so many people dismiss Harriet because she’s quiet and shy, they both astutely said: “She’s meek. But meek doesn’t mean weak.” I think too many people associate the term “strong female character” with Black Widow or Wonder Woman or Black Canary or Lara Croft. And that’s totally understandable: those women ARE strong women. But being a strong woman in literature or television or a movie doesn’t mean that you have to wield a gun. It doesn’t mean that you are a woman who takes over the jobs of a man. A strong woman simply means a layered and flawed woman. You can be a strong woman without ever taking a kickboxing class or knocking someone out. You can be a strong woman without having to wear spandex or jumping out of a plane or enlisting in the military. You can be a strong woman and be blonde and work with computers. The fact of the matter is that Felicity Meghan Smoak is a strong woman. Truthfully, not many people SEE that because of characters like Nyssa or Sara or Shado. And I applaud Arrow for portraying such a vast array of kick-butt female characters and giving equal weight to them all (Laurel and Thea and Mama Queen included). Beautifully, this is a show that celebrates the complexity and diversity of women and doesn’t fall into the same stereotypes and tropes that other shows do (more on that later on) in regards to women and women in romance, especially.

I knew that I would really like Felicity as a character based on the tweets and Tumblr posts that I had seen regarding her and her relationship with Oliver. I wasn’t entirely prepared, however, for how MUCH I would love her. Felicity is the perfect television example of a well-rounded and well-written “strong female character.” She’s vulnerable but determined; she cries and gets scared but also is fearless in moments of need. She’s – in a lot of ways – smarter than Diggle or Oliver. She’s from a broken family and still harbors pain but doesn’t let it cloud her optimism and bubbly attitude. She’s amazing and that is why I have decided to dedicate a post to my appreciation of her (and for Emily Bett Rickards who is absolutely and positively astounding, nuanced, and all of the other lovely adjectives).

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