Monday, June 18, 2018

The Bachelorette 14x03 Roundtable: "Quick, Call the Ambulance!" [Contributors: Jen, Alisa, and Chelsea]


Welcome back to another fun week of The Bachelorette roundtables! Your favorites have returned to give you their thoughts on last week's episode, so let's dive right in.

We were graced with two ambulance visits on this week’s episode, with David the Chicken taking a fall off his bunk bed and Clay breaking his wrist, and ultimately having to leave. How do you feel about the chicken fight fake-out with Jordan? How much are you going to miss Clay? 


Jen K.: I feel my world will be a little darker without Clay. He has to come back as soon as possible. I knew Male Model didn’t hurt Jordan, but I was not expecting falling out of bed. It looked like fight club in the mansion. How far off the ground is his bed? I have questions. Although, I am with him on being used to a king-sized bed. Once you go king, you never go back.

Alisa: HE. FELL. OUT. OF. BED. Despite the many, many seasons of this franchise, THAT took me by complete surprise. Like Jen said, it clearly wasn’t going to be a fight between Jordan and David. Jordan wouldn’t do anything that put his moneymaker at risk. But falling out of bed is one for the ages. Are there no rails on those beds? How have we been watching this show basically our whole lives and this is the first time someone’s fallen out of the top bunk?

As for Clay, I’m super bummed he’s leaving but really hope he makes a surprise reappearance; it’s happened before! He’s final four and Bachelor material for sure, but he needs to come back to make that a reality.

Chelsea: We all knew the David and Jordan didn’t have a fight because this show is always trying to fake us out. But the editing was a beautiful and an inspired choice. Jordan drilling a rail to the top bunk and making all the chicken jokes made the fake-out completely worth it.

Clay is a treasure and I want him to be the next Bachelor or at least show up in Paradise. He was a real adult and made a smart decision for his career and the situation he was in, but he is one of my favorite dudes and is way too good for this franchise.

We finally got to hear Tia’s side of the Colton/Tia dating story. How do you feel about the show handling the revelation? Should Becca have forgiven Colton so quickly? 


Jen K.: No, Colton is shady. I’m not seeing what the allure is — other than the fact that he’s another Abercrombie & Fitch-looking model for Becca to choose from. Except she has plenty of others with that qualification who didn’t date her friend. I have trust issues with Tia as well. I think she expected to be the next Bachelorette so all this “support” for Becca feels fake to me. I have very little evidence to support this. It’s just my vibe.

Alisa: I’m not a fan of either Tia or Colton. As far as I’m concerned, they deserve each other and can get off Becca’s show. SHE’s the Bachelorette. I know that’s harsh but I don’t care. Tia was clearly gunning for the headline spot last season and seemed in it for all the wrong reasons, just like Colton does now. Becca needs a man who’s there for her, not to boost his own fame. She should have sent him packing the moment she found out. It seems clear he got with Tia thinking she’d be the next Bachelorette, and now he’s trying the same thing with Becca. It may make semi-interesting TV, but the producers really need to cool it with this nonsense.

Chelsea: The whole thing is shady and it’s painful how much both Colton and Tia want to soak up this reality fame. We all knew Tia was gunning for Bachelorette and it felt destined from the moment we found out she was friends with Raven, from Nick’s season. I wouldn’t trust either of them and I wouldn’t be surprised if they both ended up in Paradise to continue this story. The best thing to come from this whole mess has been Bekah M. spilling all the tea on Instagram and Twitter about these two, and looking out for Becca’s interests. That’s the kind of friend you want.

With Clay’s sad departure, this episode ended before a rose ceremony. Who do you think will go home? Garrett looks to be the man that gets a one-on-one next week. Who else are you hoping gets time to shine next week? 


Jen K.: My fave is on the injured list. I’m staying loyal and waiting for Clay to come off the bench. But... Blonde Nick is cute. Haven’t seen much of him. Also the long haired surfer dude who I thought joined the cast this episode because I never saw him before. MIKE. I googled him.

Alisa: I’m with Jen. Clay’s my man and I’m not switching teams now. That said, Leo is FINE. And his facial expressions have me cracking up every episode. I’d like to see more of him. I’m afraid he’ll turn out to be a jerk, but it’s hard to tell either way without more screen time. There was also a quick shot of one guy in Harry Potter glasses who I swear I’ve never seen before and I need to figure out who that was because he looked super cute.

Chelsea: After the adorable name snafu, I really want to see more of Jason in the upcoming episodes. He seems to have a fun vibe to him and is probably there to make friends. I don’t think Mike or Cute Glasses Ryan have said a single word this season, so they’re probably headed home soon. I’m not particularly impressed with this crop of guys at all.

How is Becca doing as the Bachelorette this season? How are you feeling about this season of the show? There are those problematic men: first Garrett’s questionable Instagram activity and now Lincoln’s assault conviction. How are we feeling about Becca’s chances at finding true love amidst the trash?


Jen K.: Becca is a big bowl of love. She seems sweet, earnest, and kind. I absolutely believe she’s here for the right reasons. Becca is also very trusting and forgiving. These are excellent qualities in people but can also lead to being used. So I have my Mama Bear Protective Mode activated. I don’t want her to get her heart broken again. I think she’s doing a good job of giving every guy their shot. There’s a lot of them and she’s rotating them nicely. I love she’s initiating every kiss (get it girl), but it would also be nice to see one of these boys man up and make a move. Thus far I am enjoying the season a lot. Although, I need to adjust to the rapid speed dating. It’s kind of unbelievable to me that one of the early dates was writing a love song. I think that would’ve been easier if Becca and Chris were actually in love rather than warm acquaintances who kiss. I think the song writing date should have been saved for the final four.

Alisa: Everything Jen said! Becca’s darling but I worry she’s going to trust the wrong guy and end up heartbroken all over again. Also, she deserves a truly amazing guy and I am just not optimistic with this bunch. The only guy I was super excited about (Clay) bowed out, and a lot of these men are just shady. And yeah, now with all this mess coming out after filming, I’m even more worried. I was sorta willing to give the producers a pass on not learning about Garrett’s Instagram activity until after the fact, simply because that does seem hard to find out.

But this assault charge with Lincoln? How does that not get uncovered before filming begins? I get he wasn’t convicted until last week, but he was charged in 2016! Someone, somewhere had to know about it and just kept quiet. I actually think people really could find love on this show, but the producers don’t want them to. They want the drama that comes with terrible contestants and that’s what they get it. It makes me sad for the people (like Becca) who seem to truly believe this show can work for them. Hopefully it still can, but I’m just not holding out hope.

Chelsea: I’m enjoying watching Becca’s season a lot even if the crop of guys are sub-par. She’s doing an awesome job trying to get to know each guy and I love that she’s really in control of all her dates. Clay was a real favorite of mine but now I’m only going to think about what might have been. I am co-signing what Jen said about wanting the guys to initiate anything with Becca. They all seem very scared of her for some reason, and sometimes a gal wants a charming Jordan-type from Jojo’s season or even Bryan from Rachel’s season. And re: the Chris/Becca date from this week, that did seem like a date for the final three or even final two. Becca clearly doesn’t remember their names yet, so how is she supposed to write a love song for *insert random brunette*?

Garrett is a forgivable offense for the producers because that would take some creepy friending and deep-diving online but Lincoln is a bit much. We know Lincoln was just convicted this past month but the producers should’ve been able to find this out if they did some simple Google searches or looked at public records. It’s not that hard to find out this information. I do feel better knowing the conviction means Lincoln probably didn’t make it too much further in the show and won’t be in Paradise.

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