Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Blindspot 4x13 Review "Though This Be Madness, Yet There Is Method In't" (De Plane! De Plane!) [Contributor: Jen]


"Though This Be Madness, Yet There Is Method In't"
Original Airdate: February 15, 2019

We've spent 13 episodes on this plane crashing storyline, Blindspot, and it's time to release me from this procedural misery!

CASE OF THE WEEK


We are FINALLY crashing this friggin' plane. Not that I want this plane to crash. I'm not a psychopath. I just want the storyline to be over because it's boring. I appreciate Blindspot trying to throw some variety in their typical "Let's blow up New York" bomb plot, but the plane thing wasn't much better.

Does anyone remember why Madeline was crashing the plane? Do we care? Anyone? Bueller? All right, maybe there's someone. All the characters repeated the reasons about five times. I was starting to feel it was personally directed at me. Madeline wants to crash a Bradley Dynamics plane so she can release documentation that Bradley knew their aeronautics program — code name ARVO — failed major safety tests but they went ahead with it anyway. This will allow Madeline to take out one of her biggest competitors and win a very big contract.

What we discover in "Though This Be Madness, Yet There Is Method In't" is all of that documentation is doctored. The ARVO program passed all the safety tests, which their director can back up with real documentation. Okay, so he's probably not evil. The real humdinger, and one of a few real surprises in this storyline, is that ARVO was installed on a very particular jumbo liner — the new Air Force One.

Now don't get too excited, Blindspotters. It's the new Air Force One, which means it really isn't Air Force One at all because the president isn't on it. It's still just a regular big old plane, but the innocent lives on board are more than enough incentive to save it. However, Blindspot felt like there needed to be more incentive so they put Director Weitz on board. He was being fired by one of the president's top advisers. Yeah, saving Weitz doesn't really add a lot of incentive for me. I was good with the dozen or so other poor souls on board, but do you, Blindspot.

Boston, undercover as Del Toro, has to hack Bradley Dynamics, make it believable to Madeline, but stop short of actually crashing the plane. Dominic Masters pops up again and apparently he has some gumption. He decided Zapata's story about meeting with Del Toro sounded fishy, so he went out and found the real Del Toro. The cartel was paid and they didn't hear any complaining from Madeline, so they were fine taking their money and walking.

But Del Toro wasn't. I think? He says, "Nothing is free in this life, which is why I'm here." First person who can explain what the heck this means gets a cookie. The guy refused to do the job because Zapata was late. Then Del Toro decides to do the job anyway because he was already paid and felt bad about taking the money for zero work. Or something like that?

UGH. It's times like these Blindspot drives me nuts. The only reason they brought the real Del Toro in was so Madeline could foil Zapata and Boston's plan, but the writers can't just say that so they cook up some bizarre moral philosophy for a criminal hacker who works for the deadliest cartel in the world. Just stop trying to logic it, Jen. Life will be so much simpler.

Madeline has also wired the building where Boston is hacking the plane with C4 so all evidence will be destroyed — including Zapata and Boston. But then Madeline finds out about their deceit and sends a goon to kill them while the real Del Toro hacks the plane. Boston takes out the singular goon with a chair and makes a hilarious comment about watching professional wrestling, but they still need to stop the hack and Zapata only has one bullet.

Boston bluffs his way through a distraction with a fake dead man's switch and some C4. Zapata shoots one goon with her last bullet and then throws her gun at the second while taking him out Krav Maga style. It was awesome.

Long story short: Boston is able to unhack the hack, the plane is saved, and Madeline's plans are foiled. Unfortunately, it seems she has bigger fish to fry with a mysterious reference to something called "Helios" which I am sure we'll be finding out more about now that this plan fiasco is finally over.

TEAM BLINDSPOT


There's a lot of back and forth between Boston unhacking the hack and Team Blindspot (namely Rich) trying to kick Del Toro out of the system because they believe he's the hacker in charge. It leads to Zapata telling Boston to leave the building and call the FBI to let them back into the system so they can stop the hack. The trouble is the building is about to blow any minute. Essentially Zapata is offering herself up as the sacrificial lamb to save the plane.

Rich lets Zapata back into the system, she hits enter, and seemingly starts to exit the building, but then the C4 goes off and the building comes down. Boston is convinced Zapata died, which means so is Team Blindspot. Of course, she's not dead and reappears with the coolest "I'm alive line" ever ("Like I said how hard is it to push enter?") Everyone is very relieved she's alive, but particularly Reade.

Hmm, now what did I say in one of my previous reviews? Oh yes... here it is: "He'll fume for a few episodes, Tasha will do something heroic or almost die or something to that effect, Reade will realize he still loves her, and TA-DA! Happy ending."

Dang, I'm good. We're clipping along nicely, aren't we Rapata shippers? Tasha decides almost dying in a collapsed building while saving dozens of lives from a plane crash isn't enough to gain Reade's full trust back. Ummm... why not? When did Edgar Reade become the patron of morality on this show? I must have missed something.

Tasha decides she must go to Zurich, obtain the files Madeline would never destroy, which will lead to her prosecution, and thus clinch Reade's forgiveness and trust. All right, hold up. Why is it every time someone on Blindspot goes undercover for months and months they don't gather any EVIDENCE? All the evidence they need to put the Big Bad away forever is destroyed in the last second, and then the Big Bad gets away to concoct yet another nefarious plan.

Do any of these FBI agents actually know how to be FBI agents? Why didn't Zapata make copies? Why didn't Reade order Madeline's arrest sooner? He was in her office. We couldn't deploy a dozen agents to arrest the woman before she figured out her plan was not going down in flames?  Do they even need paper evidence? Isn't Zapata's testimony as a CIA agent more than enough to put Madeline away? Sweet Moses, this show is ludicrous sometimes. No, scratch that — a lot of times.

And of course... there's someone to beat the crap out of Zapata in a bathroom after she obtains the aforementioned crucial evidence. Sigh. Blindspot has played the "Zapata is dead" card almost as much as they played the "Zapata is evil" card this season and it's all just tired. I just want this plot to be over.

Back to more positive developments: Boston is his usual ray of sunshine in an otherwise dismal plot. These ludicrous plots are only made entertaining by the witty repartee of characters like Boston, Rich, and Patterson. Blindspot can never ever get rid of those three. We'll be lost to gloom and doom of the ridiculous.

What I truly loved was Rich's concern and unwavering loyalty. He was convinced hacking the plane for real is something Boston would never do and made sure everyone at the FBI understood it. Rich may snark about Boston, but he's ride or die. They are so endgame, even though Boston won't be taking a consulting job with the FBI like Rich. He's not a big fan of risking his life every ten seconds, which is absolutely understandable, and casts a nice, subtle heroic light on Rich too.

Boston's appearance at the FBI also puts him face-to-face with Jane again. Remember: Remi was holding a gun to Boston's face the last time these two saw each other. He's freaked out, of course. Jane apologizes for everything she did to Boston and it leads to this hilarious exchange:
Boston: And we're... we're just all cool with her again? 
Kurt: We're all good. 
Rich: It was days ago. 
Boston: Okay. Apology accepted?
I died. Best reaction to good Jane/evil Remi ever.

KURT AND JANE


Kurt and Jane decide to celebrate Jane being alive by going on a vacation to a little cabin in the woods. Has Kurt Weller ever heard of five star hotels? What's up with these two roughing it all the time? They don't get enough grit and gore in the field? I don't care if the cabin owner stocked the fridge, Weller! You're still cooking, which is basically like being home. Book a massage and eat some lobster prepared by a culinary chef like the regular people do, guys.

That said, why are we even talking about a Jeller vacation? It's hilarious these two think they'll actually get away for some "alone time." Honestly, what annoyed me most about this plane crash storyline is that it interrupted Jeller baby-making time. And then we didn't even get that! Things were starting off so nicely: there was wine. Jane was saying things like, "We don't have to go away to be together. I've got everything I need right here." Kurt moved in to nuzzle her neck...

... And then someone slid an envelope under the door. No. Absolutely not. NO MAIL. It probably has a bomb in it or some airborne pathogen. DO NOT OPEN IT WITHOUT AN X-RAY! HAS THE LAST FOUR YEARS TAUGHT YOU BOTH NOTHING?

It's worse than airborne pathogen: it's something from Shepherd's estate lawyer. Well, rip it up or throw it in the fire. But do Kurt and Jane listen to me? Noooo. We could be on our way to twins right now, but Jane needs "closure." You know what I need? BABIES.

Jane opens the envelope, and there's another puzzle to solve. Good grief. Can we be done with the puzzles? The fact I am saying this probably means this show needs to wrap it up. At least it wasn't tattooed all over Jane's body this time. 

Stray Thoughts:

  • "You can do this." "You don't know that. That's just a thing you say!"
  • Reade is popping in to see Madeline on the exact day Zapata is crashing the plane and the evil sorceress is not supposed to get suspicious? Okay, Mr. Assistant Director of the FBI.
  • "Shush, I'm getting scared." This adorable man puppy deserves to be loved up.
  • "I'm alive because of Roman." Aww, I like how we like Roman now even though he was a criminal mastermind and murderer. But he saved Jane's life so everything is square. Even Weller begrudgingly likes him. Looking like Luke Mitchell probably doesn't hurt either.
  • "I thought she was damaged enough to live in the gray. " Me too, Madeline. It would've been way more interesting if she was.
  • Reade called Zapata "Natasha" just before she hung up. He still loves her.
  • The whole time I watched this episode, all I could hear was Tattoo from Fantasy Island yelling, "De Plane! De Plane!" Hence the title.

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