Tuesday, October 20, 2015

How to be a Good Roommate, 'Carmilla'-Style [Contributor: Lizzie]

The best shows are the ones that give us essential life-changing lessons. I don’t know about you, but I’ve lived with a roommate. We all probably will at some point in our lives, even if it’s just a significant other or a sibling. So, even if the show might have tens of other more important lessons, let’s not overlook the fact that, at its core, Carmilla is a series about two people and a camera. Two girls assigned to live together; two strangers sharing one space, one bathroom, one fridge.

It is not as easy as it sounds. Living with a college roommate isn't like having a ready-made friend, nor is it the same thing as sharing space with your sister. You’re required to love your sister, but the same is not required of you regarding your relationship with your roommate. You can also yell at your sister with impunity. From time to time you might even practice some WWF chokeholds on her. That’s what sisters are for, after all.

Roommates are a little more delicate, in pretty much every sense of the word. These particular relationships take time and effort to cultivate, but if you do them right, roommates can be your partners in crime, your co-conspirators, your life-long friends. (Or hey, even the immortal loves of your life, who knows?)

So, in the spirit of roommate peace and cooperation, here’s a list of tips on how to be the perfect roommate, Carmilla-style.

1. Never, ever, ever drink from your roommate’s special soy milk. 

That’s just rude, wrong, and quite possibly cereal-ruining if it turns out to be blood instead. (Which can happen if your roommate is a) a vampire, b) really, really into pranks or c) hates you).

Plus, cereal is like the only food you actually buy on the regular when you're a poor college student, so it’s not like you can afford to throw away a whole bowl of it.

2. Do not disturb your roommate when she sleeps. 

Not even if she keeps a different schedule than you, if she sleeps during the day and/or goes out at night. Never, ever wake her up. That should be, like, a life rule when it comes to roommates and people in general. Never wake someone else up who is sound asleep. (You wouldn’t like it if they did it to you, after all).

In your roommate’s case, she might be a prickly immortal being who will kill you for disturbing her slumber. But as a general rule of life, waking someone up whether immoral being or mere earth-dwelling mortal, is just plain rude.

3. Sharing clothes is a thing. 

If you have a sister, you should be used to this, really. If you don’t, then welcome to sisterhood.

This is what it’s like to have a sibling, except in your sister’s case, you’re required to smile and pretend you really don’t mind when you see her wearing around your tops and dresses. The point is, living with a roommate means that you live in an enclosed escape with another female. There is no such thing as "mine" or "yours," not anymore.

Besides, there’s no way she could know that shirt belongs to your missing ex-roommate. She probably just thinks it’s hers. LET. IT. GO.

4. As with clothes, food is now communal. (Special soy milk notwithstanding.) 

Especially cookies. Because, well, cookies are love. They are meant to be shared. What kind of monster are you that you don’t want to share your cookies?

5. No one likes a chore wheel. 

Seriously, no one. I’m pretty sure not even the people who make chore wheels actually like them. They just do it because they think it makes their life seem organized. If you get the urge to use a chore wheel, just don’t. Instead, communicate with your roommate, and if that fails, clean only your side of the room. That’ll show her.

6. Either you complain about your roommates hairs clogging the shower and you make her take care of the problem, or you clean it up and don’t say anything. 

You can’t have it both ways. If you complain about it but fix it, what’s she supposed to do? Thank you?

7. Don’t spread rumors about your roommate, even if you’re jealous. 

Especially if you’re jealous. Stuff like that always comes back to bite you (potentially in the neck). After all, what will they say when you’re the one dating her?

8. Unless it’s part of some fun role-play thing that you’ve both agreed to try, do not tie up your roommate in any way, shape, or form. 

Remember, communication is key. You think she’s a bloodsucking being who’s responsible for the kidnapping of your last roommate and at least two other people? Run away! (Or, just ask her. She might answer.)

9. If you think your roommate is flirting with you –– or, in general, if you think anyone is flirting with you, but you also think that person is a) evil, b) a vampire, c) planning to kidnap you, or, you know, all of the above –– don’t offer yourself up as bait. 

Never ever offer yourself as bait. That doesn’t even work in movies.

10. Last but certainly not least, if you fall in love with your roommate, embrace it. 

Turn off your neurotic side for a little while and just... go with it. Love is always a good thing. Who cares if your other half is a centuries old vampire with an evil mother and more issues than you can count. I mean, it’s not like you’re perfect either, right?

And there you have it! The ten fail-safe rules to living with a roommate (Or at least, to living with Carmilla). If you don’t understand them, then it’s probably time for you to check out this wonderful web series. You literally have no excuse. It’s on YouTube, the episodes are three to seven minutes long, and they’re already two seasons in. What are you waiting for?

Agree? Disagree? Have more roommate stories and/or reasons to love Carmilla? Share with us in the comments!
Carmilla can be viewed, in its entirety, on the VerveGirl YouTube channel, with #CarmillaSeasonZero premiering this Thursday, October 22 at 5:30 PM EST. 


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