Scream Queens 1x12 "Dorkus" and 1x13 "The Final Girl(s)" (Cool Motive, Still Murder) [Contributor: Melanie]

"Dorkus" & "The Final Girl(s)"

Original Airdate: December 7, 2015

And here we are, finally at the two-part season finale of Scream Queens with an ending that almost made sense. Neckbrace was revealed to be the killer, after faking her persona and puppet-mastering her fellow killers, then pinning it all on the Chanels and getting the nice, accepting Kappa house she always wanted. The logistics of it were incredibly messy and convoluted, but the overarching idea behind it is something I’m kind of willing to get behind.

Hester’s ideology is a dismantling of the Greek system, which is not a new concept, but somehow hits a little bit of a nail on its head. She points out the Greek system and the levels of misogyny, competition, and social stigma behind it helped turn her and her brother into murderers. And while it’s ridiculous and mostly comical, the point still stands that there are some unfortunate effects to unintentional pregnancy at a young age. But of course the show doesn’t delve into that point or take the time to explore it as a realistic and complex motive. We’re just shuffled right along into some crazy long accusation scenes and the world’s longest cleanup sequence.

And in the realm of the reveals? This one wasn’t interesting. The show cycled through too many possible suspects for anything to be a surprise, and Neckbrace was on my killer lists consistently throughout the season. Her characterization made her a perfect red herring but a lazy culprit in the end. That being said, I can’t offer any alternatives except that Grace (and the show as a whole) would have been a lot more interesting if she was the killer. And the very trope-y irony in the final scenes might have packed more of a punch if it was Grace who got away with it, not Hester.

Ultimately, at the end of it all, it feels like some very cheap thrills without too much thought put into crafting the story. Sure, the backstory and motive were explained completely, but the execution and the respect for three-dimensional characters fell waaaay to the wayside.

But alas, here we are kids, the last two episodes...

"DORKUS"

The episode opens in the middle of Pete and Grace’s conversation, where he reveals he made a deal with Boone back during the events of the first episode to protect Grace. In exchange for her safety, Pete helped Boone undermine Kappa and was responsible for some of the deaths. He goes on this philosophical rant about the negatives of Greek life that we all already know. Grace gives him a fairly good shut-down while he rationalizes his actions and reveals he killed Boone to try and stop the murders. The scene actually goes on for, like, forever. In circles. With Nice Guy logic. Eventually Pete manipulates her into staying by offering information on the other killer, who he confirms is one of the Kappa sisters. Of course, said second killer knifes him before he can reveal anything, and after a struggle with the killer, Grace is knocked unconscious.

On campus, Chanel is being heckled by a mob after her email, a blatant rip-off of the Angry Sorority Letter that went viral a few years ago, was leaked by the Red Devil killer. She resolves then to kill herself (Cleopatra style) after her public reputation is ruined, but Zayday interrupts. She offers Chanel support, despite their differences, just as the Red Devil enters with a knife and bumbles a bit before Zayday overpowers him. They remove his mask, but it’s not someone we recognize; whoever this guy is, he yells, “she made me do it.” The girls drag him downstairs to the other sisters. It’s revealed the real killer wrapped this guy in dynamite and the sisters take cover.

A HazMat team is cleaning up after the explosion while the Chanels discuss this development. Chanel reveals a new plan to restore her reputation by going on an “apology tour,” starting with the former Kappa president who was the victim of an acid spray tan in episode one. Grace meets with her father, where she tells him that the killer let her live. They have a dorky YA novel conversation about her near loss of virginity before her dad gets creepy again. Grace then comes up with a plan for her father to seduce Munsch as a distraction while Grace and Zayday look into Munsch’s files on Kappa.

The Chanels go to visit the previous president, who lives in seclusion with a butler and mastiffs. Neckbrace is absent from the meeting, instead staying behind at the Kappa house, where she starts stealing items from Chanel’s closet. At Munsch’s house, they go through the Kappa’s transcripts to see who fits the bill. They realize Neckbrace’s file was faked and they rush to find the other Chanels. At Munsch’s house, she asks what information Westin was hunting for, though he argues that he actually enjoyed himself and insists they should date. Munsch gives the stipulation that they need “space” from Grace.

Chanel and #3 meet with Melanie Dorkus (who has dozens of TVs tuned into news stations covering Chanel’s story), the former VP. They have a tension-filled conversation before she accuses Chanel. When Chanel goes to apologize, she pulls out scissors and accuses Melanie of being the killer while slashing at her. Zayday and Grace arrive in time to stop her and reveal what they know about Neckbrace. They return to the house and hear screams from upstairs. The find #5 in the bathroom,k who reveals her Tinder swipe was faked. They find Neckbrace unconscious on the floor with a heel in her head. She wakes and accuses #5.

Body count: 1

"THE FINAL GIRL(S)"

And we’re back, suddenly in the future of January 2016 where Zayday and Grace are president and VP respectively, hosting a winter rush event for Kappa with Munsch’s support. Hester is also treasurer and the official bylaws of the house still obligate them to accept any pledge. Then we segue into Hester’s inner monologue, where she details her unfortunate childhood in the mental institution where Gigi helped raise the twins to become well-educated killers who adopted personas to help hide their motives (Boone pretended to be gay while Hester took on the “Neckbrace” identity.)

As adults, Gigi and the twins kill the original Red Devil mascot and assume the persona before pouring acid into the spray tan machine. They faked their way into the college, where Hester attends the Kappa pledge event and meets Grace and Zayday. Fast forward back to January 2016 where Hester continues to internally gloat, happy to be with her “real family.”

Flash back now to present time, December 2015, where Hester is being rushed to the hospital and continues the inner monologue, this time detailing her extensive study in human anatomy to ensure stabbing herself in the eye would not result in fatal damage. She accuses #5 again who denies it vehemently. They pile evidence on her and speculate about motives before Denise Hemphill walks in and informs them that Boone’s body was found. Grace and Zayday continue to accuse Hester but (paid off) parents arrive to corroborate her story. #5’s parents then arrive and (also paid off) corroborate Hester’s story as well. Denise arrests her, but then it gets more uselessly convoluted as Hester accuses Chanel #3 as well.

Hester continues to pile on evidence, including letters from Charles Manson detailing how to kill her sorority sisters. Hester also plants evidence that #3 has a split personality, convincing her she is responsible. Hester THEN accuses Chanel as well with more evidence. Just. So much evidence. This has gone on over two commercial breaks. Hester goes into a big ol' monologue, suggesting Chanel used murder as a form of hazing for the pledges she hated, convincing Denise of her guilt. The Chanels take off to the sounds of Martika’s “Toy Soldiers” before they’re all dragged off by (former stripper) police officers.

FAST FORWARD. AGAIN. It’s now May 2016 and the Chanels are being held without bail, Chad and Denise are still hooking up though they break up kind of dramatically (to the sounds of TLC’s “Waterfalls”), the Dickie Dollars have started a ridiculously acronym-ed charity foundation in honor of the victims, and Munsch is a best-selling author on new-new feminism. Munsch and Hester discuss the events and the dean informs her she knows she did it. Hester defends herself and insists she could have been normal if not for her upbringing. Munsch still insists she murdered people and threatens to turn her in, but Hester counters that she’ll turn Munsch in for murdering her ex-husband and leaving her mother to die. Munsch agrees to keep the information to herself and they part.

At the house, Grace has set up a help center for unexpected pregnancies on campus. Westin (is he still a professor?) offers her his trust and apologizes for his behavior before heading off to Napa with Munsch. The Chanels are on trial (oh, you put Billie Lourd in cinnamon bun hair? How unexpected), awaiting their verdict. After Chanel makes an insulting outburst, the jury finds them guilty on 47 counts and sends them to an asylum. Chanel has an epiphany that the judge’s accusations of their narcissism may be accurate and that asylum life suits them just before she lays down for bed and is attacked one last time by the killer.

Anyway...

Body count: 1 (probably)

WTF moments:

• This entire series.

There were certainly some funny moments but Scream Queens fell far short of anything remotely interesting. I've been harsh on it, and probably am ending harsh, but next season might benefit from a little more effort and research put in on the allusions front and a writer's room that actually seems like it's communicating. Until next time...

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Scream Queens 1x10 "Thanksgiving" & 1x11 "Black Friday" ('Tis the Season) [Contributor: Melanie]

"Thanksgiving"

Original Airdate: November 24, 2015

So a combined technological catastrophe pushed last week's episode and this one into one big ol' post. But, considering they both follow in the theme of holidays, it's rather fitting they go up together. "Thanksgiving" continued Scream Queens’ trend of “not as awful as it could have been” episodes, this time by making some surprisingly poignant points about family gatherings and Thanksgiving. While this certainly is nowhere near the standards set by classic Thanksgiving episodes, “Thanksgiving” is one of the better-crafted holiday episodes of this season. Generally speaking, shows use their Thanksgiving episodes to point out all the flaws in their characters’ family dynamics, and this was no exception. Each character got a moment to shine, with their disappointing Thanksgiving dinners put on display before they all returned to the Kappa house.

So maybe it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill Thanksgiving, but we can all relate to having some disappointing holiday celebrations. The strength of the episode came in its focus on the importance of found family, something many college students can probably understand, as they band together for "friendsgivings" that often wind up being better than their celebrations with family. With everyone ditching their awful family dinners in favor of spending time at the sorority house (and Grace vocally choosing her friends and sorority sisters over her new-found siblings), it’s an incredibly positive way to show how important it is to feel safe and comforted, even if the people who make you feel most safe and comforted aren’t the people with whom you share genetic material. And as someone who spent Thanksgiving with extended family, I can definitely relate.

So here’s what happened this Thanksgiving...

Chanel reveals to Chad that Neckbrace was never pregnant, and that she was killed after falling down the stairs. Chad is excited at the prospect of seeing a dead body (which... is a little weird, yes? Are we going to ignore the vibes here?), and Chanel agrees to show him to strengthen their bond. However, Neckbrace’s body is missing, leading Chad to suggest that she’s still alive.

Chanel joins Chad’s family for dinner, and while they’re going around announcing what they’re thankful for, Neckbrace arrives. Chad quickly tells his family that she’s his sober coach. After informing Chanel that she survived the fall because of her neckbrace, she then tells the entire Radwell family that she’s pregnant.

Chanel finds an opportunity to call her mother for advice, but gets ignored. Then Chad’s father tries to bribe her to leave Chad, an offer that she refuses, but Chad tells her she should take him up on it.

With all this drama simmering in the background, it seems like a perfect time for a family game of Pictionary to break out. The Radwells play against Chanel and Neckbrace, and when Brad pulls “Neckbrace Whore” as his first card, the family takes the opportunity to hit her with a constant stream of insults as they guess. Chanel defends Neckbrace, then apologizes for what Neckbrace has been through, and goes off on the Radwells. Finally, she breaks up with Chad, and then storms out of the house with Neckbrace by her side.

In between the back and forth of the two main storylines, we also get a glimpse of Gigi and the Red Devil celebrating the holiday together. They make hand turkeys while the Thanksgiving parade plays in the background, and it’s almost not weird that the Red Devil is in full costume while all of this goes on. They order “room service Thanksgiving” with a side of some ominous tones.

Meanwhile, Chanel #3 apprehensively returns home for the holiday, receiving a less than warm welcome from her family. After being forced to sit in the back “with the help” and eat a frozen dinner, she explodes on her family and walks out, saying she’s going “home.” She returns to the Kappa house, where she finds Munsch preparing a turkey, and they decide to have dinner together. Elsewhere, Westin is preparing dinner when Grace calls to inform him that she and Zayday aren’t going to Oakland. Instead, she invites him to join the rest of the sorority house for Thanksgiving.

Back at the Kappa house, they’ve started playing a game while they wait for the turkey: who might be the Red Devil be? Munsch immediately accuses Chanel #3, which Grace shoots down. To retaliate, #3 accuses Munsch, claiming she has the strongest motive, given her hatred of sororities. Before this game can turn into an all-out war, Chanel #5 arrives with an odd assortment of stuffing, saying that she chose to come spend the holiday at the house with Munsch after being ditched by her family. She goes on to suggest that Munsch faked her alibi in the death of her husband. Westin interjects and, going back to trying to guess the identity of the Red Devil, suggests that Grace could be the killer. Chanel #5 agrees, given Grace’s obsession with her mother and potential trust issues with Westin that could have spurred her killing spree.

Pete arrives, joining them at the dinner table, and after saying he’s up to speed thanks to Zayday live-tweeting the meal. He supports Grace and after Westin drops his accusation of his daughter, Pete accuses Westin, claiming that a rogue murderer was Westin’s best shot at preventing Grace from pledging. He also claims that Westin knew secret entrances into the house, and finally, that Westin is Boone’s biological father and therefore likely the father of the other baby.

Later, Grace meets with Westin, who swears that he had no idea about Boone. Grace tells him Pete won’t find the police, but is resolved to find her half-siblings. But even though she’s related to the killers, her loyalty lies with her friends. They return to the table, now joined by Chanel and Neckbrace, and soon Chad, who half-apologizes for his family just as Chanel serves the turkey, which, to everyone’s surprise, has been replaced with Gigi’s head.

Body count: 1

WTF moments:

• “Freddy was the one that got grandpa’s old pistols and challenged me to a duel.”
• All the things the Radwells are thankful for.
• Westin actually accusing Grace because, you know, that’s not his daughter or anything.

Killer suspects:

• Chanel #5: Basically she’s the only person who hasn’t been outright accused, at least with any solid reasoning, and her reasons for returning to the sorority house were shaky.
• Grace: The show blatantly said she couldn’t be a suspect, so that makes her a suspect. And she was present for the majority of the murders.

"Black Friday"

Original Airdate: December 1, 2015

And onto what always follows stuffing and turkey (no, not trying to dodge a game of 20 questions from your grandmother)!

The episode opens with another monologue from Chanel about Black Friday and her history of using it as a way to buy her friends cheap Christmas gifts. In the present, picking up almost exactly where we left off, Zayday is talking with Munsch about the head incident while the Chanels come downstairs with the intent to go shopping at midnight. They argue about it, considering what happened at dinner, but leave anyway. Meanwhile, Wesin, Pete, and Grace are at the police station to get help, since their initial call after discovering Gigi’s head went unanswered. To explain the incompetence, the (idiot) detective we’ve seen in previous episodes reveals the mayor turned over the entire homicide department.

While the Chanels are at the mall, Chanel has an epiphany that she should buy nice presents for her friends. But while they’re leaving, the entire mall shuts down around them, and just as they realize the doors are chained shut from the outside, the Red Devil appears with a crossbow. The girls duck into a store to hide, but Chanel decides to face the killer directly. The Red Devil shoots her in the chest while she attempts to get away, all the while throwing insults at who she believes to be Munsch. Denise arrives with backup, revealing that she took over as chief of police, but while she’s busy monologuing, the killer shoots one of the cops and takes off.

Back at the house, Chanel calls a meeting where she insists Munsch is the killer, and when the others begin to agree. Chanel proposes they proactively kill the dean, which Zayday rejects. Grace defends Chanel’s plan, in the name of sisterhood, and they decide to poison Munsch. At the Dickie Dollar Scholar house, Chad is trying to host a meeting only to find the entire frat has been killed and only Pete — who isn’t even a brother — is present to help him read Boone’s will. It turns out Boone left everything to Pete and when Chad interrogates him, Pete reveals Boone was his source for dirt on the Greek life on campus. However, Chad points out Pete tried to pledge the frat the previous year, and he’s angry at being denied (so apparently the “you pledged but were rejected” motive is just fueling everyone on this show). Chad offers him membership, which Pete rejects.

Grace and Chanel have tea with Munsch and pretend to apologize and flatter her, insisting they want to start a feminist collective with her. They offer her apple cider (apparently her favorite), laced with puffer fish venom (because who doesn’t have a puffer fish?). The poison doesn’t work, and Grace regroups with Pete who insists it was a sign to not try again. She gets all special snowflake-y about morals or something and this somehow means she should continue trying to murder the dean. Pete then notes that the Red Devil’s hatred of frats and sororities is something he understands. Grace then tries to offer Pete sex in exchange for support for her plan to kill the dean, which he still refutes.

The Chanels, Grace, and Zayday meet to come up with another plan, but this time Grace says no. Chanel holds a vote and forces Grace out of the house while Zayday has a stupid, random change of heart. Grace meets with her dad the next day and finds Pete with him. They reveal their research has yielded no conclusions, except that Gigi’s sister was the fourth girl in the bathroom who took the babies before committing suicide and leaving them to her. Pete leaves to write more, and Westin and Grace discuss Gigi, Pete, and relationships. He gives an after-school special level talk about sex and they hug it out. At a spa, the Kappas have brought Munsch to a cryo sauna (dear God) where they drop the temperature to around -100 Fahrenheit.  But Munsch emerges, very much alive.

Pete gets a suspicious call (which we of course don’t hear the other end of) and after arguing, warns the caller not to call him again. He has some prolonged eye contact with his Red Devil costume. At the Kappa house, they try to figure out how Munsch survived. They throw out possibilities, all refuted by Chanel. Neckbrace suggests she’s the “Rasputin” of the story, unable to die easily. Then Chanel presents a new plan: she gives the girls new smartphones to communicate while she uses herself as bait to drown Munsch in the pool. But the Chanels screw it up when they get in a fight with a retail worker and miss Chanel’s call. She’s all on her own when Munsch confronts her, and things get creepy fast. Munsch leaves, equally creepily, and Chanel returns to the house in a rage.

Grace visits Pete at his dorm, intending to seduce him, and finds him packed up to leave. Grace then gives a very sappy, Taylor Swift level speech about him being her “first.” He rebuffs her, claiming he doesn’t want her first time to be with a murderer.

DUN. DUN. DUN. ... Actually I really don’t care about those two.

Body count: 1

WTF moments:

• They fired their entire homicide department. Sure.
• Denise as chief of police.
• Jumping the gun on Munsch.
• Zayday’s flip-flop on what to do about Munsch.

Killer suspects: 

• Grace: Her motives got weird and she was one of the only people who knew the Kappas would be at the mall.
• Pete: Even though the killer is likely a girl, he had some pretty weird stuff going on and admitted to being a murderer of some sort.
• Zayday: She also has weird motives, played flip-flop for no reason when it came to what to do about Munsch, and like Grace, she was one of the few people who knew the Kappas would be at the mall.

Hopefully next week all computers involved cooperate and we can get this party rolling a lot smoother!

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Scream Queens 1x09 "Ghost Stories" (Anyone Up For a Campfire Story?) [Contributor: Melanie]

"Ghost Stories"

Original Airdate: November 17, 2015

So last week my computer decided to plot my downfall and, as you probably noticed, I couldn’t get my Scream Queens recap up. So to sum up last week real quick: Munsch reveals a ton of information about the night the baby in the bathtub was born, but nobody present that night knows the entire story to help keep them all safe; Grace learns her mother was the president of Kappa who let the girl in the tub die, and that there were two babies born that night; Gigi is revealed to be the woman who looked after the children while Westin showed a bit of a darker side; Chanel tried unsuccessfully to frame Zayday and Grace as the killers, while Boone plotted with the other killer to take out Gigi. It was an exposition-heavy episode, and therefore a little denser than is befitting the vapid nature of this show. But, at least we could see a tiny bit of the possible structure of this whole thing.

This week’s Scream Queens was, again, less irritating than previous episodes and actually had some truly purposeful comedic moments. The story as a whole is starting to make a lot more sense as more of the convoluted (and somehow midseason retconned) backstory comes to light. But the interesting thing about this week was the focus on urban legends as a theme throughout the episode. Earlier in the season, the show struggled to find real grounding in their episode themes (“Chainsaw” was a boring bust and the Halloween triplet episodes just sort of dragged). And while they didn’t say anything too profound about urban legends with this episode, it drew my attention to something that did.

Sidebar here for a shameless plug: The documentary Killer Legends, which can be found on Netflix, came to mind this week as Denise and Neckbrace shared an anthology of mostly recognizable (slightly Matrix-y) urban legends. They referenced the honking highway trucker legend, the man with a hook for a hand, and a few others of their own odd creation. Urban legends are not only a staple within the horror genre; they’re often a source for scary stories, as they proliferate across cultures into small communities. Joshua Zeman and Rachel Mills’ documentary about the real life root of four common urban tales is not only a must watch for anyone looking for some casual spooky entertainment, but fits in nicely as a companion piece to tonight’s episode. It also showcases how rich this topic is, and how Ryan Murphy barely skimmed the surface. "Ghost Stoires" had the potential to be a redeeming episode, and while it played on the trope fairly well, give Killer Legends a look for some fascinating and true-life horror.

With that in mind, on with the episode!

The episode opens with Boone out on campus (continually mistaken for Joaquin Phoenix), plotting with an unknown caller to kill Gigi. Chanel #3 spots Boone and assumes he’s a ghost come back to get revenge on her for refusing his request to pledge Kappa. Chanel calls the Chanels for a meeting (dressed as a Native American) and informs them she’s going to Chad’s for Thanksgiving.  In their room, Grace and Zayday talk about Thanksgiving break. Grace complains to her about her father’s lies and Zayday invites her to her house for Thanksgiving.  Meanwhile the Chanels are bubble wrapping Denise’s new wardrobe when Chanel #3 tells them about Boone’s “ghost.” Denise calls them over to the fireplace and begins to tell them ghost stories (most of which are set in bathrooms). With the exception of Neckbrace, they’re not comforted.

At the Dollar Scholar house, Chad is vacuum sealing all his clothes while packing when Boone arrives. Chad also believes him to be a ghost. Boone tells Chad he’s returned to take Zayday on a date — his plot somehow not fooling Chad who reminds him he’s “super gay.” After a ridiculous conversation, Boone convinces him. At the Kappa house, Denise goes to the bathroom to find one of her ghost stories come to life before she is attacked by the Red Devil, who she manages to escape. She informs the others and barricades them in Chanel’s closet. In order to calm Denise down, Neckbrace tells her own ghost story to a positive effect. They debate about leaving the room, but only Chanel #5 winds up leaving the closet.

Zayday is packing with Earl Grey. They begin making out before he stops the action to gather a plethora of romantic supplies to “make it perfect.” As he leaves, Boone crawls in her window and begins hitting on her. Zayday calls his ridiculous ghost story as Grace comes in; together, they realize he is one of the killers. There’s a struggle that ends with Boone falling out the window, but when Grace and Zayday look, there’s nobody outside. They get the others and tell them what they saw. Boone fatally attacks Earl Grey on his way back from the Kappa house, while Chanel #5 is driving away from campus. A truck honks at her (straight out of Neckbrace’s ghost story), so she pulls into a gas station to confront the driver. He informs her there was someone in the backseat of her car, then immediately is killed by the Red Devil. Horrified, #5 speeds away.

At the frat house, Neckbrace confronts Chad (now with neckbrace back on) about why she was not invited to Thanksgiving. He gives her multiple shallow reasons, but none of them are good enough and she offers him a not-too-vague threat. The Kappa house responds to the recent murders and realizes Boone may be the baby from the bathtub. Neckbrace returns and tells them another “ghost story” about how Chad got her pregnant. Chanel confronts Chad, who corroborates her story. He laments that he has to marry her now. Chanel snaps and tells him he is going to pay. She regroups with Chanels #3 and #5 and apologizes for her recent treatment of them. #5 is not so ready to forgive, but ultimately relents. They begin to plan a way to get rid of Neckbrace.

Grace and Zayday meet with the police and Munsch to describe their attacker. The detectives call in a local paranormal society, believing the killer might not be human (sure, sure). Munsch is angered by the detective’s incompetency and dismisses him. She goes to see Zayday and Grace, and offers them more information about the night in the tub. She says, as we learned last week, the babies were fraternal twins and believes Boone is the boy. Somewhere else, Boone is talking to the other Red Devil (identity still hidden), waiting for Gigi. She arrives and scolds him for jeopardizing the plan and disobeying her. Boone comes back at her, claiming he worked hard on her orders and took a night for himself. However, just as it appears Boone and the other killer are about to kill Gigi, the unidentified Red Devil kills Boone instead. Gigi congratulates the Red Devil for her commitment to revenge.

At the Kappa house, Neckbrace is going through Chanel’s clothes after her apparent leave. They offer her sushi, unpasteurized cheese, and tobacco-infused alcohol, all of which she accepts. They claim she’s faking her pregnancy, and she admits to lying but says it no longer matters because Chad still believes her. She exits, and Chanel runs after her. She tells Neckbrace she regrets that she had to go through life as an outcast before throwing Neckbrace down the stairs and breaking her neck. Chanel claims her revenge will become a new cautionary urban legend.

Body count: 4

WTF moments:

• Chad’s haunted house... okay that was funny.
• “When I feel like ISIS don broke in my house," classic Denise Hemphill. 
• All of Denise’s stories were overly ridiculous but gold because it was her.
• Boone’s weird motive.
• The stupid paranormal society scene.

Killer suspects:

• Neckbrace: We know the other killer is female and she certainly has motive.
• Chanel: Again, female killer and Chanel didn't deny it when she was accused of possibly being the killer.

Sorry about the delay, but check in this week for more updates and try not to eat too much turkey!

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Scream Queens 1x06 "Seven Minutes in Hell" (Maybe There's Hope For This Yet. Maybe) [Contributor: Melanie]

"Seven Minutes in Hell"

Original Airdate: October 20, 2015

This week’s iteration of Scream Queens was billed as the bloodiest yet. Though, by my count, the first episode still had one additional by the end. Surprisingly, I didn’t hate this episode, and there are a few reasons for that. First of all, Westin, Gigi, and the dean were either barely in it or not present at all. Don’t get me wrong: Jamie Lee Curtis is a shining moment in most of these episodes, but unfortunately she’s usually flanked with the other “adults” and the stupid revenge love-triangle going on there is boring and annoying. The other thing I liked about this was the actual meaningful use of genre motifs. Though some were obviously harped on (“I knew it was you,” Sam says as the killer reveals himself to her), others happened by chance in the episode’s writing.

The group hosts a slumber party, which is so far the closest this show has gotten to achieving the levels of meta it thinks it’s consistently pulling off. The slumber party quickly becomes a forced lock-in with the Dickie Dollar Scholars, and the killer begins picking them off as they separate. It’s rife with the commonalities of slasher horror: teenagers/young adults in a confined area, sexual promiscuity, love triangles and drama, loud music, and — of course — alcohol. All these different elements hold together fairly well this week, though there are a few annoying heavy-handed moments, plus some plot holes and exceptionally dumb logic. One thing I found interesting, though I’ll address this more in future reviews, is missed opportunities. There’s tension in that, and watching those opportunities slip by oblivious characters can create a strong connection with the viewer. What doesn’t work, however, is a never-ending round of musical chairs with accusing people of being the killer — something most episodes have suffered from and something that will likely continue to cut the tension as the show continues.

I keep harkening back to Scream (and who wouldn’t?) but it’s the best example for comparison in terms of what’s happening on Scream Queens. In Scream, there were only two characters explicitly and seriously considered to be suspects, Billy and Sidney’s dad. Though, of course, genre-savvy Randy does point out that several other characters fit the bill, as slasher movie rules state that essentially anyone can be a suspect. Still, we only ever had two contenders.

Scream Queens, however, has explicitly named just about everyone as a suspect at this point, and layered potential motives on so heavily, that not only do I not care who the killer is, but the shock has been completely taken out of the eventual reveal. Taking the guessing game too far ruins the fun and bores the audience. At this point in the show, all I can say is that someone’s the killer, and whoever it ends up being probably won’t prove to be too big of a deal. That’s less of a missed opportunity and more of a misstep. But more on some other missed opportunities down the road as they pop up.

For now, here’s what happened this week.

The episode opens with the vote for president ending in a tie, so Zayday and Chanel end up as co-presidents. After making a scene, Chanel reveals to #3 and #5 that she ensured it was a tie to make herself less of a target for the killer. She then extends Zayday a seemingly harmless peace offering by naming her acting president of the sorority. The next day, Zayday and Grace decide to throw a slumber party in order to use truth or dare to force answers out of people (because they’re magically bound to absolutely tell the truth during truth or dare, obviously). The rest of the house reluctantly agrees.

At the Dickie Dollar house, they have an intervention for Chad’s sexual promiscuity and he decides he will devote himself only to Chanel. His newfound monogamy is kicked off with a panty raid, after the brothers learn the Kappas are having a slumber party. At the party, Chanel #3 adamantly insists they play spin the bottle so she can explore her confusing feelings for Sam. The game works in #3’s favor, as she gets to kiss Sam, but ultimately she decides it’s too dangerous to risk a relationship. Meanwhile, Chanel is off making s’mores when other sisters arrive to inform them the entire house has been sealed up, and everyone has been locked inside (because Chanel had the whole house converted into a panic room after watching the movie of the same name). Chanel calls Chad for help and he manages to break a second story window, which are apparently the only ones on the house not bomb-proof, when the Red Devil appears and picks off the newly armless brother (okay now he’s dead) while the others run inside.

Grace asks Zayday if they can flee the school, but Zayday refuses to be kicked out of her own turf, and they return to the living room to play truth or dare, where at least the Candle Vlogger has the sense to point out that absolutely nothing about truth or dare makes sense as a viable interrogation technique. We quickly learn some interesting information during the game, but #3 becomes angry when Sam reveals Charles Manson is her father. In return, she dares Sam to go down to the basement alone and take a nap in the tub. And while down there, Sam is, unsurprisingly, attacked and killed. But not before she insists on knowing the killer’s identity and delivers a very cliché “I knew it was you” as her final words.

Upstairs, Hester talks with Chad in the kitchen and insists she is not going to give up trying to win him from Chanel, who then appears and immediately insists they play Seven Minutes in Heaven, pulling Chad off to go first. She asks Chad for a real relationship and he “pinkie pledges” to remain monogamous with her... on the grounds that her dad is rich and that she’s hot. #5 and Dodger take a turn playing while the rest of the group rushes downstairs after Hester finds Sam’s body. They immediately start pointing fingers while Dodger gets a few nails to the head from the Red Devil. The group continues throwing around blame. Zayday and Chanel decide to team up to explore the tunnels beneath the house, realizing that’s how the killer got in (never mind the fact that the frat guys left their ladder outside the broken window?). While investigating, the pair is attacked. Chanel rescues Zayday from the killer and they escape.

The next day, the dean and the police search the house and decide to post an armed guard outside at all times. The dean also relishes in an opportunity to publicly hurt the reputation of the sorority by claiming their status as targets is a threat to other students’ safety. #3 and #5 commiserate over their mutual losses and make a deal that — no matter what — the pair of them will outlive Chanel. The episode ends with Chanel gifting the sisters pink nunchucks to protect themselves with, should the killer strike again.

Body count: 3

WTF moments:

• Everything #3 says, but in a good way.
• Truth or dare? Really? This is the surefire way to figure out what’s really going on?
• I knew it was you.” Yeah, because I’ve never heard that line before.

In this week's killer suspects...

• Zayday: I still remain suspicious since she's the only one who had direct contact with the killer.
• Hester: Still a psycho and now a woman scorned.
• Chanel #5: The reasons for her to hate Chanel are just piling up.

There is no episode next week (since they exhausted all their Halloween themes, I guess). But tune back in November 3rd at 9 PM on Fox for more episodes and check back here for recaps!

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Scream Queens 1x05 "Pumpkin Patch" (Heeeere's... The Red Devil) [Contributor: Melanie]

"Pumpkin Patch"

Original Airdate: October 13, 2015

Scream Queens' "Pumpkin Patch" was like a vomiting of horror call-outs. This week’s episode used blatant allusions (and not through Westin’s film class) to various horror films, mostly The Shining and Silence of the Lambs. A strange combination for sure. The reason for the homages wasn’t exactly made clear, so whatever effect they were intended to have was lost. Some could argue part of Ryan Murphy’s concept for the show was to allow it to include and comment on these common motifs, but then why did it take until episode five to get the actual allusions? Up until now the most we’ve gotten were clips in Westin’s film class that he uses to he imparts some cryptic message about the movie in question that somehow relates to the episode as a whole. Dumb as those wisdoms were, at least they made sense. The allusions in this episode, however, are pretty random.

First, there are several instances in episode five meant to directly reference The Shining. Chanel plans her haunted pumpkin patch attraction to be a replica of the snowed-over hedge maze in the Kubrick film. Later in the episode, Chanel #5 and two fraternity brothers are chased through the maze and reenact the famous scene in which Danny Torrance retraces his own footsteps in the snow to avoid being caught. What does The Shining have to do with the events of this Scream Queens episode besides the purposeful orchestration of the hedge maze? Literally nothing. The Shining was a psychological horror film with some surrealist elements meant to illicit fear, claustrophobia, and panic in the face of complete isolation. And those elements just didn’t carry over to this episode itself (shocking, I know).

The second big one, Silence of the Lambs, gets two obvious call-outs this episode. First, we find Zayday trapped in a cellar and when she looks up, she sees the Red Devil looking down at her with a dog in hand, much like Buffalo Bill in the film. Next, the famous night vision scene between Buffalo Bill and Agent Sterling is mimicked in this show, this time with the Red Devil and Denise. I’m more inclined to accept this allusion at face value because it does –– at least –– jive well. Both the Red Devil and Buffalo Bill are serial killers, both are kidnappers, and both have a strange basement lair they dwell in. Plus, the break-in to find Zayday is a humorous allusion to Clarice’s own attempts to rescue Bill’s victim. However, that doesn’t excuse the randomness of all this or the fact that these episodes make it feel like the writer’s room isn’t communicating at all.

Misplaced allusions aside, here’s what else happened this week.

We open with Chanel and her posse meeting with a party planner for the pumpkin patch and a tongue lashing for Chanel #5 who wasn’t able to book Led Zeppelin for the party (we did however get Maroon 5 and both Fergies –– the duchess and the singer). The tension only worsens when it’s revealed that the costume theme is "wives of murdered presidents," and Chanel has decided #5 will be going as Mary Todd Lincoln. Outraged by the insinuation, given Lincoln’s mental issues, and fed up with Chanel’s abuse, #5 storms out. Later that night, Munsch gathers Kappa and the Dickie Dollar Scholars together, believing they are most likely the Red Devil’s next victims, and, despite protests, implements a campus wide curfew for Halloween night. Not to be deterred, Chanel sends out a message that her party will go on as planned at 12:01 (thus avoiding the curfew as it’s technically the next day). This all ends with a great use of “sorry, not sorry.”

In the kitchen, #5 is baking toenail cookies (as one does) for the trick-or-treaters as indirect revenge because they all dress up as Chanel. Hester convinces her to go after Chanel herself, insisting that if they can make Zayday president, then Hester will become the new #2. They enlist the help of the Candle Vlogger (who’s a weirdo) after showing her Chanel’s once-used candles. The next day, Chanel (in the midst of using her “hired Asian” to help on a test) is arrested for the murder of Miss Bean after the Chanels and the Candle Vlogger reported her. Zayday wakes up at the bottom of a pit (a la Silence of the Lambs) and finds herself inside the Red Devil’s lair.

While the Kappas are fake eating, Grace and Pete arrive and insist someone has to find Zayday. They all decline and the pair decide to enlist Westin’s help. Unfortunately for Grace’s mental health, they walk in on Westin and Gigi, creating an instant rift between father and daughter as it’s the first time Westin has been with anyone since Grace’s mother died (also there is something definitely Freudian going on here, right?). Over at the prison, which, FYI, is meant to blatantly look like Orange is the New Black, Sam and #3 post Chanel’s bail. Munsch’s chit-chat session with Denise about their mutual relations with Chad is interrupted by Grace and company asking for help, which Munsch refuses, getting a little aggravated at the sight of Westin and Gigi.

Chanel walks in to find #5 readying her Jackie Kennedy outfit for the party. Chanel corners her, threatening to gouge her in the eye with a nail file, before forcing her to light all the pumpkins for the party, despite the danger of the killer (well, because of it actually). Grace and company first make a plan to go door-to-door looking for Zayday (and sidestep Gigi’s odd plan of tracking glacial mud deposits... or something) until Grace remembers she can use an app to track Zayday’s phone. They locate the address and head out while Grace continues to have daddy issues.

At the pumpkin patch, #5 is accompanied by two Dickie Dollar brothers, Dodger and Rodger, who, for some reason, abandon her and then come running back at the sound of screams when she’s cornered by the killer. He chases them all into the maze and Rodger and Dodger have some strange rivalry over #5 before the group splits up and one of them (honestly I couldn’t tell you which) is killed while #5 and the other escape.

Grace and the group locate a cellar –– rented out anonymously –– on some old woman’s property. They head down, armed with tazers, and split up (BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DO). Grace, Pete, and Westin find the lair we saw earlier and the trap door, but upon opening it, don’t see Zayday inside. Gigi and Denise locate a second chamber, this one fitted with chains, hooks, and saws.  The lights go out and the famous night vision scene from Silence of the Lambs is reenacted before Denise accidentally tazes Gigi, who then tazes the killer. Denise runs to find the others and when they return, Gigi has been knocked down and the killer has escaped (... sure).

At the sorority house, the sisters gather to elect the next chapter president. Zayday arrives in time for the vote, claiming that the killer (in true Phantom of the Opera fashion) actually spent time giving her gifts and preparing a wine and candlelit meal for her before she stabbed him with a fork and ran. Chanel calls her bluff but Grace arrives to confirm her story and they prepare to cast votes. Elsewhere in town, Gigi is stalked by the Red Devil before turning to him and asking “what took you so long?” confirming she is in league with him.

Body count: 1

In this week's WTF moments...

• “At midnight we burnt the house down.” Okay Chanel
• The entire Orange is the New Black sequence while Chanel is in jail.
• Gigi's 30-second monologue about glaciers and mud that never comes up later.
• Rodger and Dodger from the Dickie Dollar Scholar's being the worst actors in history or the worst characters (or both).

In this week's killer suspects...

• Gigi: She knows at least one of the killers, so if nothing else, she's an accessory.
• Dean Munsch: Still has murder eyes for everyone and everything and seems to be relishing in the way this is punishing the Kappa sorority. 
• Hester: She's proven this week to be extremely manipulative and pretty good at it.
• The Candle Vlogger: She's creepy and spent an entire scene in a red ant mask.

The last of Scream Queen's Halloween trilogy airs next Tuesday so be sure to check back here for more recaps!

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Scream Queens 1x04 "Haunted House" (I Scream, You Scream, But This Show Isn't 'Scream') [Contributor: Melanie]

"Haunted House"

Original Airdate: October 6, 2015

So, two weeks and four episodes later seems like a good time to talk about something I’ve alluded to in my previous recaps: Scream. This is something that Scream Queens seems dead-set on replicating but, in doing so, misses the point entirely. A lot of people, myself included, will call Scream a parody horror film in shorthand, but, more accurately, it’s a horror movie about horror movies. It follows Sidney Prescott throughout her teenage years into adulthood as she’s stalked by multiple killers, all donning the same iconic Ghostface costume. The film came out in the mid-90s, when horror was degraded to direct-to-video sequels, and many people attribute it with reigniting the slasher and horror genres.

The thing that made Scream work so well is that it had a clear-cut view on its own lines between parody, self-referential humor, true suspense, and thriller. The characters in all of the movies have seen horror films, and reference them constantly both in jest (Tatum’s last lines to the killer: “Please Mr. Ghostface, don’t kill me, I want to be in the sequel”) and in complete seriousness (Randy’s numerous rules to stay alive). The film utilized characters like Sidney –– who took the drama very seriously and very personally –– and juxtaposed them with characters like Randy and Billy, who pointed how much all of the ongoing chaos seemed like some horror movie. And this was all capped off in the end when it was revealed the killer’s motive was in fact to replicate a horror movie, tying it all together and painting a twisted, but undeniably human, picture to justify Sidney’s horror.

Scream Queens wants to think it’s doing that, even enlisting the talents of Jamie Lee Curtis as a genre homage. But the show is more careless with where it chooses to blend the seriousness and the genre awareness further; unlike Scream, it is a true parody in a lot of ways, creating moments of comedy (or attempted comedy) out of horror film ridiculousness. But, like I said, what we’re supposed to take seriously and what’s all part of the joke is clear. For example, toward the end of Scream, Randy discusses how Jamie Lee Curtis’s character in Halloween was meant to be the virgin, a young female character who survives because she remains pure. This is intercut with scenes of Sidney and her boyfriend having sex for the first time, creating a dark comedic moment, and an ironic omen for what’s to come. In Scream Queens, we’re blending the more serious subjects with the ridiculousness: Chanel tries to talk to her boyfriend about her insecurities in their relationship and he starts crying about her wanting him to stop sleeping with other girls as if it were a great betrayal to his character. There’s no line, there’s just the question of “well how am I supposed to read that?”

Furthermore, Scream Queens assumes a lot from us. As in the example above, Scream knows that the audience has seen or heard of Halloween or Friday the 13th but it will artfully explain to you, as a viewer, why that knowledge is so relevant. This show, however, simply assumes you’ll trust everything that it throws at you, with no blatant callbacks or clue of what it’s trying to be. The Red Devil killer is a watered-down Ghostface and an even worse attempt at Michael Myers or Jason, but that’s not talked about within the context of the show. Characters simply run in fear from him. After one death, they call him a serial killer in order to push the slasher motif. That doesn’t make sense. Unlike Ghostface, Jason, and Michael, who all had modus operandi to their killings, weapons, and victims, the Red Devil is haphazard and all over the place. Scott Kessinger did an in-depth study on parody and spoof vs. meta film in his book Scream: Deconstructed, and by his definition, Scream Queens, at this point, is feeling closer to Scary Movie than a postmodern take on genre.

And so, with that rant out of the way, let’s look at what happened on this week’s episode.

The episode opens with a YouTube montage-style prologue detailing Chanel’s weird Halloween ritual of gifting her Instagram followers with creepy decorations while they sob on the floor in joy. Anyway. The police, who are clearly in the dean’s pocket, are interrogating her to no avail. Not that it really matters, as she points out it would be next to impossible for her to been downstairs and upstairs and down again all while changing outfits. Denise busts in and decides she’s going to solve the murder in honor of her very good friend Shandel who is looking down on her from the Best Buy parking lot in the sky (amen).

Grace and Pete visit the washed-up sorority sister whose name they discovered last week to find her living off the grid in a trailer because, according to the flashback, the death of the unnamed sorority sister in the bathtub was like the worst thing to ever happen to anyone ever. The dean (who was just the university-Greek life liaison at the time, I think, it wasn't clear) created an elaborate cover-up to hide the body and the baby and evidently this Watergate-level conspiracy just destroyed the sisters so much that they all went crazy. Most important, however, is that we are explicitly told the baby was a girl. Meanwhile, Zayday talks to one of the brothers from the Dickie Dollar Scholars about the possibility of running for sorority president to help reclaim the Greek system (side note: he’s British so everything he says is instantly more interesting). This leads into an altercation while the sisters are making pumpkins, pitting Zayday –– who plans on running a haunted house to raise money for charity, against Chanel –– who responds by running her own haunted pumpkin patch.

Later (apparently at 3 AM), Chanel is sharpening her closet knife collection (as you do) while trying to think of a way to outdo Zayday. Chanels #3 and #5 decide they’re going to raise money for something only identified as “black, hairy tongue.” It’s as weird as you think it is. To no one’s surprise, our has-been sorority sister meets the Red Devil’s knife in her trailer while Chad and Neckbrace run into each other in a graveyard and bond over their necrophilia (again, as you do). The next day we’re back in Westin’s film class, this time where he is showing Children of the Corn and giving a ridiculously bland and shallow reading of it (also turning it off before the end?). Grace storms in and demands to know if she was the child born in the bathtub (a wild conclusion she jumped to based literally only on discovering she is the same sex as the baby). She walks out in a huff and Pete texts her to meet at a house that is, yes, LITERALLY on Shady Lane.

Turns out they aren’t the only ones interested. Zayday and the British frat brother (whose name is apparently Early Grey, everyone just take that in for a moment please) are scoping out the house for their haunted house fundraiser and Denise bursts in to inform them all that the house is haunted by a ghost called “the hag of Shady Lane.” They find a room full of creepy dolls and Denise pulls Zayday aside where they both accuse each other of being the killer: Zayday has a chainsaw so duh, and it turns out Denise once pledged Kappa before being denied because of her race. On campus, Chanel, Chanels #3, #5, and Neckbrace are running a smear campaign against Zayday before possibly the only important scene in this entire show happens. The girls are catcalled by a fraternity brother, and when their calm explanations that his catcalls aren’t wanted doesn’t work, they proceed to kick him where the sun don’t shine and hand him a beating to the cheers of onlookers. That night, Chad and Neckbrace meet up at the Shady Lane house, both under the impression the other texted them. In the midst of their strange foreplay, they discover Miss Bean’s decomposing body and several others, all victims of the Red Devil killer, throughout the house. They rush back to campus and their attempts to warn others backfire as students swarm the house for a Halloween scare.

In the house, Zayday is kidnapped by the killer in the midst of trying to get everyone to leave. The dean, the police, Westin, and the sorority discuss the situation and continue pointing fingers (weirdly in the list of bodies they name, Chanel #2 is strangely absent even though we saw her body quite prominently). Pete and Grace discuss further things they learned about the house, and realize the hag of Shady Lane was in fact some unknown woman taking care of the abandoned sorority baby. The final shot reveals Gigi sitting in the house, alone, in the get-up of the hag.

Episode 4 total body count: 1

In this week's WTF moments...

• Black hairy tongue, WHAT? Why is that your charity?
• Chad and Neckbrace’s psychotic necrophilia.
• The Chanels attempt to have a meal of cotton balls and sauce. Sure.
• The super feminist smackdown of the catcaller was random — but it was awesome.

In this week's killer suspects...

• Chad: Continues to be weird and now apparently has a thing for dead bodies.
• Neckbrace: Also continues to be weird, and now also apparently has a thing for dead bodies.
• Westin: Still a creep.
• Zayday: Between last week’s chainsaw and this week giving her motive to take out Chanel, she’s fishy.
• Denise: Also given prime motive to hate the sorority this week.
• Gigi: Apparently knows a lot more about the mysterious baby than we thought.
• Chanel: She has a knife collection in her closet and continues to hate everyone.

The Halloween “fun” isn’t over, Scream Queens has two more Halloween-themed episodes, making up their three-week Halloween event. So look for this immediate storyline to continue as we take a look at Chanel's pumpkin patch Tuesday at 9 PM. Check back here for more recaps every week!

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