New Girl 7x07 and 7x08 Review: "The Curse of the Pirate Bride" & "Engram Pattersky" (Teach Me How to Say Goodbye) [Contributor: Jenn]

"The Curse of the Pirate Bride" & "Engram Pattersky"

Original Airdate: May 15, 2018

Well... this is it. It's been an incredible run, and even as I type these words, I can't believe that this is the series finale of New Girl. This show will always have such a special place in my heart. It's a series that taught us all that it's okay to be weird, to fall in love a lot, to make mistakes, to embrace who you are, and to never stop trying. This quirky, adorkable little show grew far beyond those two labels into something genuinely beautiful and representative of what it looks and feels like to be an adult who doesn't know exactly how to navigate life as an adult. We've watched these characters grow from the pilot episode into the people who embark on new journeys in the finale.

I'll talk a lot more about these episodes momentarily, including the incredible character arcs we've witnessed over seven years. But for now, just know that I love New Girl — in its peaks and valleys — and found the final two episodes to be emotional, hilarious, and a fitting end to the series.

"The Curse of the Pirate Bride"

The plot: it's Nick and Jess' wedding day, and everything is set to go off without any issues whatsoever. That definitely sounds like New Girl, right? (You're laughing, because of course everything would go wrong on their wedding day!) But just like the botched proposal in the last episode, the slightly-flash forwarded nuptials are perfect because of how imperfect they are. Jess initially buys into her mother's insistence that she and Nick spending the night before their wedding together somehow cursed the pair. And soon enough, Nick is citing the curse for everything going wrong.

Their wedding day begins innocently enough, but when she slips in the bathroom and scratches her cornea on one of Milo's dog toys, Jess is understandably upset. She's got an eye patch but isn't buying that it's part of some curse. Until Joan shows her the eviction notices that have been piling up in her and Nick's mail for months. Now Jess is freaking out.

Upstairs on the roof, where the pair is set to marry, Nick begins to worry about the curse after a bird poops on his shoulder and his editor turns down his new book proposal. In a move initiated by Winston and Schmidt, Nick confronts his editor... only to be fired moments later. "Curses are real!" Nick yells from the roof. Meanwhile downstairs, Jess is freaking out about the curse and decides to indulge her mother... and may or may not wind up high and eating her own wedding cake as a result.

It's up to the best man and matron of honor to save our pair! When Russell shows up though, it seems like the curse suddenly goes from bad to worse — he tells Jess he loves her and to ditch Nick and marry him instead. And this is where I found the episode to be so refreshing. There is no doubt in Jess' mind that she is in love with Nick. She wants to marry him. She has no doubts whatsoever about them.

Even when Russell hands Jess the cards from "First Date."

Y'all, I freaked out a little bit during this scene. Out of all of the plots on New Girl that seemed to be dropped, I thought this one would be for sure. When Russell tells Nick and Jess to write down what their relationship means on two valet cards, they both do. And Russell's reaction to their notes in "First Date" seems to be one of skepticism. Now — on Jess' wedding day, years later — Jess has the cards in her hand and Russell tells her that neither she nor Nick were ever sure of their relationship.

Of course, Nick bursts into the stairwell where Russell and Jess are sitting and begins to attack the man. The whole gang ends up at the hospital soon enough, mostly because Aly is in labor, and there Nick and Jess discuss their failed wedding day.

It's funny — the proposal last episode was perfect in so many ways to me because of how imperfect it was. And a hijinks-centric wedding day where all the possible things that can go wrong do seems like the perfect wedding for Nick and Jess. (Thankfully, they agree with me.)

Jess then pulls out the cards Russell gave her, on which both she and Nick — in regards to what their relationship was — wrote "I don't know." I'm honestly not surprised that this was the response. These two were so in sync and so scared of it that even when they could've written down vastly different answers, they echoed the same scared sentiment. I remember Nick and Jess from season two. Do you? They were these two kids who had so much passion and care for each other, but were terrified of screwing up what they had. They tried to date and both weren't at the place where they could be honest and vulnerable with each other. They were scared, holding back their feelings and fears.

In season seven, it's beautiful to see how much these two have evolved. No longer are they scared of being together. They're no longer scared of diving in too deep. They now are mature enough to admit aloud to the things they couldn't years ago. They may not have jobs, or a place to live, or a single clue of what comes next.

But they have each other. And that's more than enough for them. There's this beautiful little exchange that they have right before they decide to get married in the hospital:

Jess: "We've both been scared about so many things for so long. I don't care about the past. Or the future. All I care about is right now, right here — you and me."' 

Nick: "I just wanna have a weird, wonderful life together. I wanna get married, and I wanna take care of you. I don't even care about a stupid curse. ... "Hey Jess? You wanna have the weirdest wedding of all time?"  

Jess: "To you? That's all I want, Miller."

So right there, in the hospital where Aly is about to have a baby and where Jess' scratched cornea looks disgusting and where Schmidt managed to find a rabbi and where a nurse plays "Groovy Kind of Love" on his iPad keyboard and where a new mom hands Ruth a bouquet of flowers and where everything is sad but happy at the same time, Nick and Jess get married.

They get married knowing that they can live without rooftop nuptials or cake or flowers or dozens of guests, but they can't live without each other.

And now, bonus points:

• I love that Nadia makes her final appearance at the very beginning of the episode!
• There's a minor plot point about Winston and Schmidt giving Nick and Jess a wedding roast instead of toast, and basically all you need to know is that Bob Day was not amused.
• "But in a real way, Nick sucks as a person y'all."
• I'VE MISSED YOU, JOAN DAY. I'VE MISSED YOU, BOB DAY.
• I love that Jess forgetting to invite Sadie to the wedding becomes an actual part of the plot in "Engram Pattersky." Bless this show.
• "Well that curse can kiss my ass, and you can kiss my face."
• "I don't look like a pirate bride?" "No!" "Never!" "Why are we lying to her?"
• "It's so weak, they call it gun control in America." THEY DID THAT.
• It's the return of high!Jess. The last time we saw her was in "A Chill Day In," right? She's coming around more than once every ten years now!
• "Did I make that sound with my mind?"
• "Why is this how we make more people?! It's a terrible system!"
• "What's the password?" "Ruth1." "Wrong." "Ruth2?" "Wrong." "Ruth3?" "Close!" "Don't do this to me, kid!" "Wrong."
• "You're all so bad at fighting!"
• TRAN FINALLY SPOKE AND IT WAS AMAZING.
• "GROOVY KIND OF LOVE" IS THE SONG THE GANG SLOW-CHICKEN DANCED TO IN "WEDDING" AND IT'S THE SONG JESS WALKED DOWN THE AISLE TO AND I'M AWARE I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS RIGHT NOW.
• DanBill Bishop, I'm dying.

"Engram Pattersky"

It's time to bid goodbye to the loft and our amazing roomfriends in this hilarious, sentimental trip down memory lane. I'm not good at goodbyes. Neither, of course, is Jessica Day. She tries to tell Winston, Aly, Schmidt, and Cece over a conference phone call that she and Nick are moving out of the loft. But it's too much. So she calls them over in person. The core three — Winston, Cece, and Schmidt — are scared at whatever news Jess has to share. When she tells them, they're all baffled. They made peace with leaving the loft months or years ago.

Nick's okay with leaving, but his wife (who else loved the fact that Nick referred to Jess as "his wife" multiple times?) hasn't even begun packing yet. Jess is so not okay.

And because she's not okay, no one else is allowed to be okay. She locks the front door and demands that the group take a trip down memory lane before they can help her and Nick pack. Nick, meanwhile, takes the group aside and tells them that the only way they'll all survive the night is if they play along with Jess and pretend to get sentimental too. Schmidt, Winston, and Cece reluctantly agree to Nick's demands.

Jess, meanwhile, does the exact opposite of pack: she pulls out memorabilia from the last seven years (try and name all of the references you can! Some of my favorites: the "swuit," Winston's throne, the jam T-shirt that Spencer stole from Jess, etc.), and the group feigns interest/sentiment. Then Jess decides that simply looking at stuff isn't enough; the group needs to DO things in the loft they've never done before!

This is where the patience of the group begins to wane, and soon enough, Jess overhears Schmidt telling Nick that he's getting tired of pretending to be sad over stupid things. Jess is heartbroken, obviously, and tells her friends that they can leave. It's hard when you're the last one holding on. But it makes sense, as Jess notes, because the loft meant everything to her. It's where she found healing from her break-up and friends who became family. It's where she made memories, fell in love, and watched her two best friends get married. It's where she sat around the table for Thanksgivings and played countless games of True American.

To her, it wasn't a loft — it was a home. And a home she's having a hard time saying goodbye to.

After her moment of self-actualization, the group decides they've been a little harsh and agree to help her celebrate the loft in the way it deserves. After, Jess declares that they've finally done everything in the loft she wanted for the last time. Nick is the one to disagree though, and proposes a final game of True American. Winston, Nick, Schmidt, Cece, and Jess drink and laugh and leap around the apartment, cleaning and packing up all of Nick and Jess' stuff. As they clear up memories, we get to see a flash-forward.

See, this isn't the final game of True American after all.

In a scene that left me sobbing the first time I saw it (legit, I was a bit concerned), we get a flash-forward of True American... Kids Edition. Nick and Jess still have Mario, and now a little boy in a Bears jersey. They cheer for him as he chugs root beer, and the camera pans to another room where Schmidt and Ruth encourage her brother Moses to chug some more. Then Aly and her football team of boys leap onto pillows, Winston and his wife close behind them. Cece leaps in from the other room, and the whole scene is scored with beautiful, sentimental music.

Some adults in the flash-forward stand together on a chair... and then the scene cuts back to the present, where every character is left standing together on one cardboard box. The loft is empty. It's time to go.

Seeing the empty loft made me ache, but also feel weirdly okay. At some point in our lives, we all have to move on. We change jobs. We leave our cities. We meet new people. We start new relationships. But if we're really lucky, we'll always have a group of friends who ground us — the ones who are our second families; who our children call "aunt" and "uncle," and who fit just as much in our social lives as in our living rooms.

While the bar was the place the gang often met, the loft was really the place where they became family. 4D was as much of a character in the series as Jess, Nick, Schmidt, Cece, and Winston were. As the gang packs up the memories and heads out, there's one thing left: a final Prank Sinatra prank.

Yes, you read that correctly. As it turns out, Winston pulled off one of his biggest pranks yet. He set up the fake company "Engram Pattersky" (rearranging the letters, it spells "my greatest prank"), got some of our minor New Girl characters to help him pass out fake eviction notices, and had Fawn Moscato personally talk to Jess.

The gang is appalled that Winston pulled a prank THIS big, and they're equal parts angered and horrified. As they discuss how big of a prank this was, they all pile into the moving truck to a song called "Until We Get There," which — if you're as big of a fan as me — was featured at the end of "Winston's Birthday."

One of the lyrics to the song is:

What do you say? Is this the time for one more try at a happy life?

And I think that's kind of fitting. Jessica Day arrived at 4D with no real idea of what was going to come next for her life. She had just been cheated on, and would watch Dirty Dancing for hours on end. She learned how to be a stronger, better version of herself thanks to Nick, Schmidt, Winston (and Coach), and Cece. Nick was a jaded, cynical guy who was still hung up on Caroline. Winston had no clue what he wanted to do with his life. Cece was a model who settled for dudes who didn't deserve her, and was afraid to be vulnerable. And Schmidt? Schmidt just wanted to live his life, uninhibited.

Now they're parents and husbands and wives, and beginning a new chapter of their stories with pranks, True American, and lots of laughter.

The New Girl gang has grown up. But they'll never stop being those people we fell in love with. They're just better versions of themselves. And for that? I'm forever grateful.

And now, (final) bonus points:

• I've been reviewing New Girl for five years now, and I'm so honored that you all chose to come on this journey with me. I can't express it enough, but I'll miss this show dearly.
• Ruth's little "who are these people?" is hilarious. Also the entire conference call at the beginning of the episode was so on-point with everything we know to be true about these characters.
• "Why do you always think like a character in The Babysitter's Club?"
• I'm really happy that the show did a mid-dialogue credits cut. It reminded me of my favorite Community cut.
• "I'm gonna go open a bottle of wine. Pink okay?"
• It's fitting that the teleplay for the finale was written by Liz Meriwether, and the episode by Dave Finkel and Brett Baer. I'm so glad these three were showrunners together, and I hope they get to work on projects in the future because they just have a fantastic way of crafting stories.
• I love the meta moment where the group looks at one of the places in the loft that's never featured.
• ONE LAST NICK AND SCHMIDT FLASHBACK, Y'ALL.
• "You sweet, goblin-eyed dumb-dumb."
• Cece's baby voice makes a reappearance and I think Hannah Simone should win an Emmy for that alone.
• NICK FINALLY TELLS SCHMIDT HE LOVES HIM.
• The first time I watched the screener and got to the flash-forward, I just started audibly sobbing and could not stop. I've watched it numerous times since, and still cry.
• "You ready?" "Yeah, let's go."
• I love that Sadie, Fawn, Principal Foster, and biology teacher dude returned.
• "Until We Get There" broke me at the end of "Winston's Birthday," and it broke me now.
• I love so much that the final audible line of the series is "ridiculous." It seems so right.

THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE, FOLKS. I'm so sad, but also so happy this show ended on the best note possible. What were your favorite moments? What made you cry? Sound off in the comments below!

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New Girl 7x05 and 7x06 Review: "Godparents" & "Mario" (I've Had the Time of My Life) [Contributor: Jenn]

"Godparents" & "Mario"

Original Airdate: May 8, 2018

The final four episodes of New Girl are broken down into two episodic installments over an hour. This week's penultimate episodes before the two-part series finale? A pair titled "Godparents" and "Mario." While the first installment features a lot of fun and hijinks, the second wraps up some stories we've watched throughout the series with the kind of humor and heart that is customary for this show. Ready? Let's dive into each of the episodes!

"Godparents"

In our first episode, Winston is freaking out because he's not sure he's ready to be a father, while Schmidt has to readjust to working life and Cece has to try and figure out how to parent Ruth. She enlists Nick for help and it... goes about as well as you'd expect it.

In the end, "Godparents" isn't my favorite episode of this season, but it teaches each of our characters lessons in what it means to be okay with raising a child. Jess is the only member of the group who is chosen to be a godparent to Winston and Aly's little boy. And, like she does, Jess takes her responsibilities extremely seriously. (Meanwhile, Nick is bummed he didn't get asked to be the godfather, and spends the entire episode trying to get Ruth to like him once he finds out she sees him as dumb.)

When Jess needs to fill in for Aly during a birthing class, Winston panics about being a father. The reality is starting to sink in and he confesses that ever since he found out he was going to be a father, he couldn't stop thinking about his own father. Even though he knew it was irrational, he somehow expected his father to show up in his life, just when he needed him most. Jess, because she's JESS, decides to track down Winston's dad and make that meeting happen. And it's emotional, beautiful, and everything Winston wanted it to be.

Just a tiny little issue though: the man Jess thinks is Winston's dad? Definitely NOT Winston's dad. Aly says she knows what Winston's father looks like from photographs at the precinct and the man in their home is not remotely related to Winston Bishop. But the conclusion that Jess draws from the story (after some minor Winston freak-outs) is this: you don't have to have a father to be a good father to a child. Winston and Aly are going to raise their son to be a great man, and it's because Winston is a great man, not because his father was. It's a touching way to end this particular story.

But speaking of children, it's up to Cece and Nick to be "parents" for Ruth this episode, since Schmidt has returned to work. As we expected, he's got binders filled with instructions for how to parent his little girl, but Cece's got this. Or, at least, she thinks she's got this. When things begin to go awry from the moment she tries to pick Ruth up from pre-school, you know it can only go downhill fast. Soon enough, Ruth is calling Schmidt during a big presentation for a salsa campaign and the man rushes off to Triangles to rescue his baby girl.

I'd like to point out something here that I think is important: New Girl has always done such a great job with characterization and especially with subverting male/female tropes in Schmidt and Cece's relationship. Schmidt is organized, cooks, and prefers things done his way (especially cleaning). Cece is a bit more laid-back with those things (remember the clothes and shoes he left all over the loft that sparked a fight with Nick?) and has a very dominant personality. But the show has never presented Schmidt as wrong for wanting to be a stay-at-home dad, or Cece as somehow less of a mother because she prefers to work.

And that's where "Godparents" ends up: at a conversation between the two about Schmidt staying home with Ruth. There's this touching, sweet (and a little sad) scene where Schmidt has to return to work and Ruth and he touch their foreheads together sadly. Schmidt loves taking care of Ruth and even though Cece loves Ruth to the moon and back, she wants to be working. I love that New Girl reminds us that both are okay — it's okay to be a working parent, and it's okay to be a stay-at-home one and that neither invalidates the importance of the other. Schmidt and Cece just know what's best for their daughter. And that's for Schmidt to stay home and have daddy/daughter spa time with Ruth.

"Godparents" provides a nice transition into the home stretch of this series. It showcases how much the gang has grown up and the kind of responsibilities they now have. But it also reminded us that at the core of everything in the series is love — love between godparents and their godchildren, love between friends, and a love that is very much like family.

And now, bonus points:

• "Ruth doesn't like me?" "She sees you more as a dim-witted raccoon." 
• I love that Schmidt tells the story of how the gang met Prince to Ruth — and that he still sticks with the story that he jumped over the hedge, rather than fell from the tree.
• "Look at us: the unbreakable Kim and Schmidt!" "God, I forgot how much I despise you."
• "Does he have a small group of white friends like me?"
• "What you are is the human equivalent of the crack between two couch cushions."
• I love Ruth going full-on armadillo.
• "You ruined it." "Your face ruined it! You're a dumb raccoon."

"Mario"

WELCOME TO THE EPISODE. You know, the one we've been waiting seven years for. If you're like me, you've shipped Nick and Jess from the first few moments of the pilot. And if you're like me (or are me), then you found "Mario" to be a satisfying, wonderful full circle moment for these two characters. But I'm getting ahead of myself, I think. Let's talk about all of the characters in the episode, and how they've managed to grow up in the last seven years and find themselves in their own full circle moments.

I'll start with people other than Nick and Jess, because I want to spend the bulk of our review discussing their journey. Let's start off with Winston then. This is the episode that Winston finally gets to see color! If you recall, we found out in season three that Winston was colorblind, and since then the show has occasionally brought this back up for the sake of a joke. But with new technology available that allows people to see color, it makes sense the show would integrate that into Winston's story. He gets glasses from a local university for a limited period of time and uses them to see all the things he's missed out on. Mostly there's little significance to the story (it ends with Winston taking the glasses off and telling Aly that he just wants to see her face with his own eyes), but it allows Lamorne Morris to do some hilarious comedic work, including expressing hatred for certain colors and shock over his patterned shirts.

The other smaller story in the episode is that of Schmidt and Cece finally having a night out to themselves to enjoy one another. But when Cece excitedly mentions that she's ovulating and they can try for baby #2, Schmidt panics and ends up driving them not to the fancy hotel he reserved, but to Winston and Aly's. It's there that we learn just why Schmidt is hesitant to have another child — he doesn't know if he can go through nine more months of pregnant!Cece.

And Hannah Simone REALLY brings it, comedically, with her performance. We get to see (thanks to Aly recording the antics as evidence) just how terribly mean Cece was to everyone. But it wasn't just Cece who was unbearable. Schmidt became such a coddling, blubbering mess that even HE was unbearable. As the couple looks at their behavior, both seem to be sobered by it. And for a moment, we think that maybe they won't try for another kid.

But it's Schmidt and Cece, so of course they do. They vow that they'll be better this time around, but even if that doesn't happen (and let's be honest, it probably won't), they want a family more than they don't want to deal with each other's bad habits. And I think that's sweet.

Now, let's dive into the meat of the episode: Nick and Jess! It's approached our one-month mark in-series for Nick to propose, lest Bob Day's blessing expire. So Nick plans to propose that night, ensuring everything is perfect. Unbeknownst to him, Jess also has plans for the couple that evening — adopting a dog! Apparently two years ago, Nick and Jess tried to adopt a dog but Jess got a little emotionally invested (you remember her sobbing at the puppy in a cup in season two right?), and scared off the woman handling adoptions. Now, Jess has practiced remaining calm in the face of such cuteness and asks Nick to help her prepare for the home visit the adoption lady scheduled. Nick is hesitant because he's trying his hardest to get them out the door and over to Beso (where they had their first date in, you guessed it, "First Date"). When he can't, he pushes back the reservation — much to Bob Day's chagrin, who keeps calling his future son-in-law to pester him about the proposal plan.

Everything goes well during the home visit — Jess keeps it together and only breaks down into cute animal talk when she's alone with Nick. There are only a few questions left to answer, and when they get asked who would care for the dog, should they break up, Nick answers that he would. This sends Jess into a mini-spiral, confronting Nick about whether he plans for them to break up. He's insistent that he just responded without thinking and never wants them to break up, but Jess is already too upset to be reasoned with and even more upset when they get rejected from adopting the cute little dog, Mario.

As they follow adoption lady to the car, Mario escapes and Nick and Jess (and Schmidt and Cece, who were at the loft to have some alone/baby-making time) chase him down to a park. Winston and Aly are there, watching Dirty Dancing when they notice their friends (and a dog) running amok. Finally, Nick catches Mario and holds him while he and Jess chastise the dog for being such a mess of emotions.

And then... it happens. Jess begins to slowly put the pieces together as to why Nick was rushing her to dinner, and why he's been so nervous all night. Nick is clearly a bit upset by how wrong the whole plan went, but Jess corrects him with the sweetest and most beautiful assurance: the proposal is perfect — because it's not perfect. It's just like them, and it would be absurd to think that their story would have that perfect neat little bow when it's taken them messing up to get to each other.

So Nick gets down on his knee, and asks Jess to marry him. She tells him how she wants a future with him — a future filled with kids and adventures and Mario and laughter. And as she says "yes," Dirty Dancing begins to play the "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" scene.

Remember how that was Jess' go-to break-up movie? Remember how in the pilot episode, we saw her watch it on repeat, totally distraught? And then at the end of that episode, Nick is the one to rush Schmidt and Coach to the restaurant where they begin to sing to her. Dirty Dancing makes a reprise in "Big News," when Jess cries on the couch after her break-up with Nick. But now? Now we have a beautiful, lovely, perfect full circle moment — the movie that once represented the sting of loss now represents the hope of a future with the love of her life.

I've shipped Nick and Jess for seven years. Jake Johnson and Zooey Deschanel's incredible and fun chemistry made me care about them before the producers and writers ever thought them a possibility. But I knew, in my heart, they'd be endgame. Why? Because they always find a way back to each other. Whether he's chasing after her to comfort her during the loss of her job, or she's looking out for him in Chicago, Nick and Jess can't help but be there for each other. They're best friends, soulmates, and the perfect balancing act.

I've had the time of my life rooting for these two (even though sometimes it's been frustrating, I'll admit), and I can't wait to see how their story concludes in the two-part series finale of New Girl next week.

And now, bonus points:

• I love that the episode opens with the boys hanging out together and the girls hanging out together, while the dialogue carries over from each scene. It's delightful writing.
• "They said my enthusiasm for Harriet bordered on... madness." "I can see that."
• "Everything's funny when you put an old man in it. ... Except the ground..." I missed that line the first time watching this screener and found myself cackling during it.
• Pregnant Cece flashbacks had me DYING. Hannah Simone absolutely nailed those scenes and I could not stop laughing.
• MARIO IS SUCH A CUTE DOGGIE.
• I love the numerous callbacks in this episode to Nick and Jess' story: Bob Day hating Nick, the place they had their first date, back sweat, and Dirty Dancing.

That's it, folks! I mean, we still have two episodes left in the series but this review marks the last of the screeners I've seen. I'm going into the series finale knowing just as much as you all, and I'm kind of excited about it. 

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New Girl 7x04 Review: "Where the Road Goes" (Goodbye, Friend) [Contributor: Jenn]

"Where the Road Goes"

Original Airdate: May 1, 2018

When an episode of New Girl opens with Enya, there’s nowhere to go but up. And truly, “Where the Road Goes” (a lyric from the song that begins the episode) is a fantastic example of how the show can weave together the absurd with the genuinely heartfelt and make us believe that yes, three years into the future, our favorite weirdos are holding a one-year memorial for a cat. But there’s more to discuss this week than just Furguson’s untimely end — we get glimpses into a few different character pairings and relationships. Because nothing brings out emotion more than Furguson’s memorial. Apparently.

TOGETHER 4EVER

I love Nick and Jess, and a lot of you on Twitter had asked me when the Nick/Jess portion of our story would begin to pick up. Luckily for you, Furguson’s memorial sparks a discussion between the two about secrets. When Coach shows up for the memorial, it’s clear that he and Nick are at odds. Nick is oddly harsh toward his friend, and Jess is determined to get to the bottom of their feud so that her perfect memorial service isn’t ruined. Coach confesses that the fight is about money, and Jess essentially brushes this off and tells Coach to just pay Nick back whatever is owed. She assumes, given the pair’s history, that the conflict is rooted in something trivial.

Until Nick tells Jess that Coach owes him over $70,000. As it turns out, when Nick got his advance on his book, he leant Coach money to open a restaurant called “Coach’s Jim” (“It was a real Ruth’s Chris situation”), which failed miserably before it even opened. The reason Nick never told Jess about the loan was because he assumed one of the reasons they broke up years ago was because he was so bad at money (“The Box”), and he didn’t want her to leave him. It’s a sweet confession, and one that catapulted Nick into confessing more things — like the fact that he sometimes wears his boxers backwards.

He earnestly tells Jess this because he doesn’t want there to be any secrets between them, and believes only secrets to be on his end. It’s reminiscent, in a lot of ways, of the scene where Nick spills his feelings in “The Captain”: he cares about Jess so much that he wants to tell her everything that’s on his mind. But that’s when Jess admits that she’s harboring a secret. And Nick laughs. It’s absurd, literally, for him to think of Jess hiding ANYTHING. But she is — she confesses to killing Winston’s cat.

And Nick does not respond well at first. He’s shocked that the secret Jess tells isn’t some little one, but a pretty huge deal. Jess is wracked with guilt over what she did — not paying enough attention and letting Furguson get into her crafting glitter and eat a bunch of it — and after Nick has a moment to process what she said, he tells her that he’ll never leave her over secrets. He’ll be right beside her if she ever needs help, and there’s nothing she could do that would make him love her any less. It’s so sweet and wonderful to see these two grown up. Years ago, Nick and Jess fell apart because he was too immature to imagine a future, and she was too stubborn to imagine any compromise in her relationships. But now, whether they’re planning a cat memorial or going through serious things, Nick and Jess have each other’s backs. There’s nothing that could tear them apart, and I love that the final season of New Girl isn’t trying to do that. Russell isn’t a threat. Nick isn’t expressing fear of commitment. Jess doesn’t want to run away.

They’re together, for better and worse, now and that’s all that matters.

(And, of course, Jess didn’t ACTUALLY kill Furguson so that’s a comfort.)

Speaking of together forever...

UNIMAGINABLE

When Cece points out that Winston should get a new cat since it’s already been a year, Schmidt wonders aloud whether a year is a long time to Cece. This sparks a conversation about how long Cece would wait if Schmidt died to remarry. When Schmidt pesters her, like only Schmidt does, Cece throws out a number: three years. Schmidt is aghast, believing that to be too short an amount of time. As the two talk more and more, Cece hits a breaking point and admits that she doesn’t even want to think about a world in which Schmidt died and she was alone. In reality, she tells him what her life would actually be: her visiting Schmidt’s grave every Fourth of July and dragging a lawn chair up to it. For as much pestering as he does throughout the episode about Cece not ever remarrying, the image of her alone strikes him. Even though in this pretend scenario, he’d be dead, he still doesn’t want her to ever be alone. He wants her to be taken care of, and loved — even if he’s not around to do it.

These two have such a wonderful, sweet little love story that it’s almost hard to imagine where they began. I love that they can’t imagine a world in which they’re not together, and that they mean so dang much to one another. May we all strive to have a love story as wonderful and weird as Schmidt and Cece’s.

I’m really nailing the segues today because speaking of wonderful and weird... 

A ROCK AND HER FLOWER

The B/C-story this episode (which didn’t even feel like a B or C-story, because everything was threaded together so effortlessly that it might just be technically an offshoot of the A-story) is about Winston’s grief over losing Furguson. Aly is worried because Winston hasn’t had “the cry” yet since Furguson died. The group is shocked that Winston hasn’t properly grieved the cat who was more like a son to him than anything else. Throughout the episode, the friends — and primarily Aly — try their best to get Winston to open up and allow himself the space to feel all of the emotions he’s feeling.

It almost seems to work, when Winston assures Jess that she didn’t kill Furguson. Winston then begins to recount the story of how his cat actually died: it was a heart attack, while Winston was making breakfast. And he watched Furguson’s little heart give out on him. The whole story is moving to all of our characters, but by the end of it, Winston STILL hasn’t broken down in tears yet.

And that’s when Aly’s fear seems to come true — Winston just loses it. He hushes everyone, believing that he hears a cat meowing somewhere in the bar. All of our characters respond to him with equal parts pity and bewilderment, with Aly convincing Winston that he’s just imagining a cat’s meow because he hasn’t properly grieved yet. When he sits down, he finally lets out his pain to Aly, admitting that he shelved it when Furguson died because they had just found out they were expecting and he wanted to be strong for her and the baby. Aly tells him, adorably, that she’s the strong one and he’s the sweet and sensitive one. That’s okay.

After Winston properly grieves, Aly also hears faint meowing. It turns out, Winston wasn’t crazy after all: there was a kitten stuck under a couch cushion who was calling for help. (Nick then pays off the bartender, who is actually the cat’s owner, so that Winston can finally have a new cat to fall in love with.)

“Where the Road Goes” is a fun little trip down memory lane that reminds us that these characters might do some weird stuff sometimes, but it’s often rooted in love and definitely leads to them being better people in the end. 

And now, bonus points:

• I couldn't stop laughing at the opening the first time I watched this episode. It might be my favorite in recent TV history.
• This episode brings back some of our favorite New Girl recurring characters (a nice way to bookend the series, honestly) including: Sam, Robby, Coach, Dunston, and Outside Dave.
• I always notice whenever actors seem to be sick while filming, and this episode it appears Zooey Deschanel is under the weather.
• "You call me 'ham calves'?"
• "Your new husband would still be finding my bobby pins in couch cushions."
• "It's onomatopoeia!"
• "And even though Furguson walked on short legs, he stood taller than any man I have ever known!"
• "You can tell cat teeth by taste?" "Yup."
• "Like the time that he hid in that bag we got burgers in..." "... I just can't believe that my girlfriend killed Furguson."
• "... Am I attracted to murderers?"
• "There's nothing that you could do that would make me love you any less."
• "Caaaaat, where you aaaaaat?"
• "If you're the rock, then what am I?" "You're the beautiful flower sprouting out from the rock."
• They named the cat NAFTA, which is so great.

What did you all think of this week's episode? Sound off in the comments below!

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New Girl 7x03 Review: "Lillypads" (When Pre-Schoolers Take Over) [Contributor: Jenn]

"Lillypads"

Original Airdate: April 24, 2018

One of my favorite things about New Girl is that they only ever tried to do anything remotely romantic between Schmidt and Jess once. And it was in “The Story of the 50” (and in that brief kiss from “Parking Spot”) that we learned how absolutely wrong for each other Schmidt and Jess would be. They’re so much more hilarious as polar opposite BFFs/occasional rivals. If anything is true about them as a pairing, it’s that they share a love for Nick. But flash-forward three years into the future and we see that Schmidt and Jess have a new person in their life to fight and fawn over — Ruth.

“Lillypads” is a hilarious glimpse into Schmidt and Jess as parents. If you recall, only one of them is actually Ruth’s parent. And since our B-story was pretty self-contained and not as exciting as the A-story was (at least to me), we’ll spend the majority of our review discussing Jess and Schmidt’s flaws and strengths.

PRE-SCHOOL TUTOR

Jess has always been ambitious but Schmidt is right about one thing: Jess values free thinking and encourages imagination. She’s worked at private and public schools, and has been a teacher of both adults and children. But the constant is that Jess values creativity and fun over rules and structure. She always has. This is a woman who walked into Apartment 4D singing tunes and brought that free spirit into her classroom too. So when Schmidt instructs Jess to prepare Ruth for her interview at a pretentious pre-school, logically he should have known what he was getting himself into.

And yet still, Jess does crafts and practices breathing with Ruth, much to Schmidt’s dismay. Jess wants Ruth to be a creative, free-thinking young woman. It’s not really because of noble reasons though. Jess is still mad at what’s happened to her throughout her career, especially the way she’s seen pretentious private schools destroy the creativity of children and turn them into robots. She doesn’t want Ruth to be drained of her individuality and personality, so she gives Ruth no constraints. If she wants to call the color green by a new name (“Denise”), then by all means, she should! There should be no rules or limits to her creativity.

But Schmidt does not see the world through the same lens Jess does. He sees structure and rules and order as stepping stones to a bright future. He’s got Ruth’s life mapped out for her already, and he wants her to succeed. It’s noble, but at the same time it means that he wants her to be studied and bribed to do her work correctly. Because that’s the thing about Schmidt — he always believes there is a right way and a wrong way to do something.

Obviously, the two are at odds the entire episode, believing that what they’re doing is in Ruth’s best interest. Schmidt thinks that teaching Ruth what is right and wrong from this young of an age will help her succeed in life. Recognizing letters and numbers, being able to cut a perfect circle and always giving the textbook answer will help secure her future. And really, Schmidt just wants his baby girl to have the best life she possibly can. His methods might be a bit questionable and harsh, but he genuinely thinks he’s doing what’s best for Ruth. Similarly, Jess thinks that SHE is doing what’s best for Ruth. Jess has seen kids get burnt out and drained of life and fun from a young age. Kids should be able to play and make up stories and nap without fearing they’re falling behind or doing something wrong. Because she loves Ruth a whole lot, Jess wants her to have the best life possible.

When Ruth arrives at the pre-school interview, she’s meowing like a cat and Schmidt’s panic is evident. But then Ruth cuts a perfect circle in her evaluation, as Schmidt and Jess watch on. And then she asks the teacher about the circle. What if it wasn’t a circle, but a moon? And what if the moon was sad? For a moment, Schmidt seems disappointed by the answer. Not the teacher, though! Even though Lillypads values technical skill and ability in their students, they also value creativity. The teacher evaluating Ruth gives her points (and tadpoles) for creativity. Jess and Schmidt rejoice because somehow together, they’ve become the perfect parent.

You might be wondering how Cece, Ruth’s ACTUAL other parent, and her personality factor into little Ruth. Well don’t worry — it’s hilarious. When Benjamin’s son has a breakdown because his father berates him, Ruth stands up to Benjamin and insults him by calling him “Denise.” She then tells the whole pre-school class and all those watching that the system is corrupt.

And Ruth leads a revolt.

It’s a hilarious (albeit a bit dark) scene that demonstrates one thing — Ruth is Cece’s daughter. She has the feisty, fiery spirit of Cece Parekh within her, the technical skills of Schmidt, and creativity inspired by her Aunt Jess. But the three adults agree on one thing at the end of the episode: Ruth will be whoever she wants to be, and they can’t change or stop that. Nor should they. Slightly traumatized by the experience, they let Ruth choose which pre-school she wants to go to.

I loved this story in “Lillypads,” not just because it’s always fun to see Schmidt and Jess at odds, but because it is pretty true to life. A lot of kids are pressured, from a young age, with placement tests and rigorous schooling exercises. And though tests are a necessary part of schooling, there’s something to be said about a happy medium between Schmidt and Jess. Kids need structure but they also need freedom to play and create and explore. They need to learn what colors and shapes are, but they also need to play pretend and color outside of the lines every now and then. They need the drive of Schmidt, creativity of Jess, and passion of Cece.

There’s no doubt about it, though: Ruth’s gonna do what Ruth’s gonna do.

And now, bonus points:

• Basically all you need to know about the B-story this week is that Nick procrastinates writing and Winston tries to prep himself for testifying in court. Nick procrastinates when things are important to him because he doesn't feel like he's good enough. There's a sweet moment where Winston tells Nick that he's good enough and he needs to believe that he is. You can see Nick actually feel the impact of his oldest friend's words for a moment, and it's kind of touching. And also Winston gets nervous testifying in court because he doesn't like the pressure. That's about it.
• I love the recurring references to Banyon Canyon and no one knowing what happened.
• "Have you not seen Star Wars? Robots are helpful and often delightful!"
• "I'm not letting your hippie dippie mishigas ruin Ruth's future."
• Every time I see Benjamin in this show, I'm reminded that he was Todd in Community and ugh, Todd is the worst. (Benjamin is also the worst.)
• "You know I would have punched you in the face for free."
• "I need my eyes for TV."
• *whispers* "Green is whatever I want it to be." Seriously, I'll say it EVERY WEEK, but the girls who play Ruth are the absolute cutest.
• "WHY DIDN'T YOU MARRY SHIVRANG?!"
• "Ruth... is that coffee?" "Yup!"
• "Aren't you 11 pages away from getting punched in the face?"
• "This place is like the frikkin' Louvre."
• "Excuse me, she lived inside of me ya jerks."

What did you think of this week's New Girl? Sound off in the comments below!

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New Girl 7x02 Review: "Tuesday Meeting" (Three Men and a Little Lady) [Contributor: Jenn]

"Tuesday Meeting"

Original Airdate: April 17, 2018

Sleep — that thing that you can never have enough of in adulthood. Two of my best friends recently became moms at the same time (their babies are literally born less than 24 hours apart), and a few weeks ago I got to chat with them all about the sleepless woes that new parents face. It's a reality for all parents really, unless your child is somehow an angel or alien who sleeps through the night always. And sometimes, it's even true for toddlers. Like Schmidt discovers in "Tuesday Meeting." While this episode's Jess/Cece story is one of the lesser compelling ones (I much prefer "Girl Fight" or "Walk of Shame"), the major story focuses on the boys trying to get Ruth to sleep, and Nick having a crisis about his future as a writer.

"YOU CANNOT DO A MOVIE, WINSTON"

The references to Three Men and a Baby/Three Men and a Little Lady alone make this episode worth viewing. Beyond that though, I love whenever we get the chance to watch our favorite boys bond over things. Now, as they are all adults in settled relationships, their problems look a little different than they used to. But they're still tinged with the silly and absurd (and yet also oddly real) that brings New Girl into focus. Schmidt is not sleeping, nor is Cece. And Ruth? Well Ruth is just a boundless ball of energy and it's driving Schmidt to the brink of insanity. Luckily, he has some things that keep his mind off his lack of sleep — namely, taking care of his other child: Nick.

Nick returned from a European book tour with Jess feeling inspired and refreshed. He turned in his pages to his editor, expecting to receive positive feedback. Sadly, that is not the case. Nick's editor is disappointed with how fluffy and sappy Pepperwood has become. And it's true: Nick's life has settled, he's in love, and things are great. When things in your life are great, it's hard to write. My AP Literature teacher in high school taught us that. We examined our reading list for the year, thoroughly bummed out about how many depressing books were listed. And then she reminded us that writers often do their best work when they're in a point of emotional upheaval or self-discovery. Great work doesn't often happen when you're incandescently happy. And since Pepperwood is such an extension of Nick to begin with, it makes sense that Pepperwood is stable and in a sappy, sweet place — just like Nick.

Unfortunately, sappy and sweet don't sell in the teen crime market, so Nick has a decision on his hands: Either Pepperwood ends, or he has to figure out a great idea for another book/book series ASAP. And as we know, Nick Miller does not do well with a tight deadline. So he does what he often does: He panics. And he panics hard.

That's when Schmidt and Winston step in. Rather than tell Nick that his idea notebook is full of garbage, the two try their best to bolster Nick's confidence. Not by supporting those ideas, mind you, but by lying to him. They copy some phrases out of Mao's Little Red Book... and then Nick turns in those notes to his editor, who recognizes them immediately. Nick is furious at Winston and Schmidt. How could they lie to him like that?

But these three have been friends for long enough that Winston and Schmidt admit that they didn't want to crush Nick's spirits. And it's in the most unexpected moment that Nick begins to churn out some actual good, interesting ideas. In a last-ditch effort to try and get Ruth to sleep, Schmidt curls up in bed with her (after he, Winston, and Nick sing "Goodnight Sweetheart" from Three Men and a Baby), and Ruth requests a story from her Uncle Nick.

And when Nick concedes, he begins to tell her crazy tales from his childhood — which sparks an unspoken idea from Winston and Schmidt. Maybe Nick does still have stories to tell... ones he didn't even realize were interesting. It's hard to say whether or not Nick's little memoir will turn into anything, but I loved that his creativity has returned. And that Schmidt got a little bit of shut eye. And that Winston got to do Three Men and a Baby.

THE ACTUAL EPISODE TITLE

"Tuesday Meeting" also focuses on an actual Tuesday meeting — one that Jess is not invited to. Having accepted a job with Russell, Jess is feeling a bit disheartened. Russell brought her on for her expertise, but he's relegated her to cold-calling people and doing busywork. And she's not really excited about it. Furthermore, when she meets with Cece, Jess says that she feels the reason she's being singled out and given menial work is because she's a woman. Cece — having downed a whole bunch of coffee and chardonnay — tells Jess that she needs to stand up to Russell and demand to be treated like an equal.

And that starts with Jess demanding an invite to Russell's standing, all-male, Tuesday meeting.

You can guess where this is going, of course, because it's New Girl: Russell isn't keeping Jess out of a meeting because he's sexist; he's kept her out of a meeting because it's not work-related. It's his divorced dad support group. While Jess does feel embarrassed at her error, Russell admits by the end of the episode that he's been treating Jess a bit poorly. He vows to give Jess more responsibility and get her off of phone duty.

"Tuesday Meeting" is one of the quieter episodes this season. It's not my favorite of the batch I watched, mostly because whenever an episode removes Jess from the A-plot (it's hard to tell which plot was the A and which was the B, but I feel the boys' story was more heavily featured), I feel like it tends to suffer in terms of comedy. Nevertheless, New Girl is still as endearing and fun as ever — complete with adorable three-year-olds who really, really hate sleeping.

And now, bonus points:

• I love that the magazine is called Tween Between the Lines.
• "Tell me of the world. Remember me to the people."
• Does anyone else love that Ding Dong... Murder! is the title of a Pepperwood Chronicles book? No? Just me?
• The fact that we get nods to Three Men and a Baby and Three Men and a Little Lady in this episode makes me so happy. Also because my friend Laura and I had this dream of casting Joel McHale, Nathan Fillion, and Adam Scott in a remake of this movie. True story. Also if you have never seen those films, please remedy that immediately. They're so fun, and so cheesy.
• "She nodded off on the toilet. It was very cute. Honestly, it reminded me of you. I took 70 pictures."
• "Words sound weird to me when I'm this tired."
• "How's that wine and coffee combination treating you?" "My heart is beating really fast but time is moving really slow. So it all kind of evens out."
• I love the recurring "Babe?" "Yes babe" dialogue that the show uses.
• MALE PATTERN DUMBNESS. I'm using that now.
• "The system is broke and... I can't feel my face."
• "I'm done." "I'm three!"
• Seriously the girls who play Ruth are way too perfect. Ruth's little thumbs up at Nick was absolutely adorable.
• "I am drunk right now and VERY awake!"
• THE BOYS SINGING TO RUTH.
• "Oh I'm scared of this energy."

What did you all think of "Tuesday Meeting"? Sound off in the comments below!

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New Girl 7x01 Review: "About Three Years Later" (Everything Old is New Again) [Contributor: Jenn]

"About Three Years Later"

Original Airdate: April 10, 2018

I've loved New Girl since the first moment I saw promos for it. Truthfully, the first few episodes were rocky — I have adored the pilot and always will, but Jessica Day was a bit insufferable in her naivete until the show learned how to navigate her personality and refrain from using descriptors such as "adorkable."  

The thing I've always admired about this FOX comedy is that it does character development so darn well and so darn right. There's a slow pacing to it that can often lead us to frustration — won't Nick ever grow up? Won't Schmidt stop caring what others think? Won't Jess find love already? But the frustration, I think, stems from the realism of the comedy. New Girl does have episodes where absurd things happen that would probably never occur in real life. But it also suspends our disbelief far enough to pull us back to the ground when it needs to. "Eggs" is startlingly realistic for women. "Re-Launch" is a perfect example of the fact that often, we don't have our lives together — even when we really, really want to. And, of course, "Girl Fight" is the most perfect example of an actual girl fight.

New Girl will probably stay in the Jenn Hall of Fame as one of my favorite comedies of all-time. And having seen six out of the eight final episodes, I feel even more certain of its place there. While I can tell you that the next few episodes will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions — and a few trips down memory lane — I can also tell you that this show's writing has never been tighter. When you only have eight episodes in which to conclude a story, it can feel daunting. Often, the result of a limited quantity of episodes is sloppy, frenzied pacing or odd decision-making. (Remember, this show is used to 22-23 episode seasons.)

But every episode in the final season builds on the previous one, and the stories themselves are propelled by the character pairings and groupings, not on the hijinks that occur. That makes the episodes even stronger because it allows us to connect even further with our favorite characters as we watch them step into a brand new — and final — chapter of their journeys. So I'll do my best to capture, in a critical way, what I love about each episode in my reviews... but bear in mind that they will also probably get a little more "feels"-y as we head into the series' home stretch.

For now, just kick back, relax, and press the fast forward button with me because we're about to head (about) three years into the future!

NICK AND JESS

Betcha never thought you'd see that elevator again, did you? Betcha never thought that we'd see Bob Day in the premiere either, right? Even though we've flashed forward, we still need to take a little trip backward in the premiere — six months, specifically.

Six months prior to Ruth's birthday party, Nick asked Bob for his blessing to propose to Jess. And he still hasn't done it. But his reasoning isn't out of fear or lack of commitment. He actually had an elaborate plan that was set in motion during his European book tour. It's cute: Nick mailed the ring from Europe back to the loft. That evening, his plan is to open the mail with Jess, where she'll discover the ring in an envelope. Of course, this is New Girl and so shenanigans prevent Nick from actually being able to propose to Jess.

But it is not because he's afraid. For once in this series, Nick is absolutely sure of what he wants in life and what he wants is to spend forever with Jessica Day. It's Jess who is more on the hesitant end of the spectrum. Remembering what happened the last time they discussed the future, Jess assures Nick that she is happy with their life as is. She doesn't need a ring or a marriage in order to know that she wants to spend forever with Nick. It's not that this comment deters Nick from proposing, as it would have a few years ago. Instead, he is still committed to proposing to Jess — he just needs to make it perfect. And in his heart, he knows that Jess wants a ring and marriage; he's known her long enough to know that. He's also known her long enough to know that the only reason she would say she didn't is because she loves Nick that much.

I kind of love the character growth we see in Nick and Jess when they return three years later. They've been together since their kiss in the finale and have presumably gone through a lot over the past few years. A lot of their growth happened in those lost years, but when you remember "Mars Landing" in light of "About Three Years Later," the development is evident. Back in season three, Jess had her life planned out and was unwilling to compromise her vision of the future; meanwhile, Nick had no clue what he wanted out of life and just coasted day by day (with absurd futuristic scenarios to boot).

Now, Nick is sure of what he wants in his future and Jess is learning to loosen the reins on her life. What a beautiful role reversal.

And unlike other shows, which would put Russell — Jess' ex — into a season to stir drama or tension between our main couple, New Girl steers away from that tired, overused, and terrible cliche (THANK GOD) and allows Russell to simply exist in the couples' life, not dictate their emotional journey or serve as a road block. The most important thing we learn about Nick and Jess in the season premiere is that they love and support one another, want to be with each other, and nothing can or will change that fact.

That's the Nick/Jess I fell in love with.

SCHMIDT AND CECE

My favorite thing about season seven is that we get to see Schmidt and Cece's relationship evolve and deepen as they raise a daughter together. She is the perfect mix of both her parents — sweet and sassy like her mother and hilariously precocious like her father. There is no unrealistic tension between the couple; they are really just trying their best to raise their child. And though we don't get a really big glimpse into Schmidt and Cece's marriage and home life in this episode (that will come in a few episodes, don't worry), what we DO witness is these two being the supportive besties to Nick and Jess, just like they always have been.

Even though they are parents, Schmidt and Cece don't quite have their lives figured out. They still have their own personality quirks (see: Schmidt planning Ruth's birthday, chastising a kid's outfit, and fixing the braids that Cece did on Ruth), but they are figuring the parenting thing out as they go along. They make mistakes and they make good choices and honestly, watching them parent the cutest little child in the world — their caramel miracle — and loving her well was a perfect start to the season.

WINSTON AND ALY

Aly is my favorite character in season seven, and I don't even think I am joking about that. Somehow while pregnant, Aly has become the most hilarious character — and Nasim Pedrad is absolutely killing it. It's fun to remember season three, even though I know a lot of fans hated that particular year (and critics weren't too fond of it either). But I think season three is incredibly significant to contrast with season seven for all of our characters. Nick and Jess were together but didn't communicate well. Schmidt was the antagonist most of the season. And Winston? Well, Winston was just being a cartoonish goofball who occasionally dropped some words of wisdom.

In season seven, Winston is prepping to be a father. And though he hasn't lost the hilarious quirks that make him Winston (if you managed not to laugh during the flashbacks to Ruth's previous birthday parties, you're probably a robot), he's grown up into a person who's taken on more responsibility in life and is a supportive partner to his wife. We always hoped Winston would find love and it seemed, at every turn, like all he got was terrible women.

Aly is amazing. She's hilarious and serves as the perfect counterpart to her silly husband... but she's also silly herself. I mean, obviously the two take pregnancy photos together so they're THAT couple. But I love that they're THAT couple. I love that Winston and Aly will be more at the forefront of the season, and that we'll continue to get to know these two as a married couple.

THE GANG

"Have our lives changed? Sure they have."

And with that, Schmidt sums up what's different about New Girl this year: A lot, but also nothing. I love that I can re-watch the pilot episode of the series and the characters are still recognizable — some with the same quirks and temperaments. But years later, even though their circumstances have changed, these are the same characters we fell in love with. They're just better and different versions of themselves. I often refer back to the quote from How I Met Your Mother where Ted explains that "eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers — you know, these completely different people who just happen to look like us."

You're going to see, over the next few episodes, examples of this. A lot of the things that made New Girl what it was are still here — hijinks and silly plots and witty one-liners and Schmidt pronouncing things weirdly. Things will be different though too: we spend more time at Winston/Aly's, and Schmidt/Cece's, in pre-schools and office buildings, and not as frequently at the loft. There's also now a little girl who calls Nick "Uncle Nick," which is the cutest thing ever.

You're going to see the same characters you know and love, just three years older and a little bit wiser. Their lives have changed... and yet sometimes things never change, like how the gang will convene in the loft for a celebration. Only this time, it's celebrating a three-year old's birthday.

The more things change, the more they stay the same sometimes. New Girl is back and it's going to be better than ever.

And now, bonus points:

• WE'RE BACK, YOU GUYS. How excited are you?!
• Things that will never get old: recurring gags on this show like the doorbell to Schmidt and Cece's house playing "La Cucaracha."
• Of COURSE Ruth Bader Parekh-Schmidt's birthday party would be themed after women of history. I'm so down for all of the Schmidt, Cece, and Ruth scenes that you guys will get to see in the coming episodes.
• I'll admit that I could not stop laughing at the flashbacks to Ruth's first birthday and second birthday.
• "My butt is sore, my back is sore. I spend most of my day holding in farts."
• Winston's impression of Schmidt was hilarious and spot-on.
• Does anyone remember what Russell did? Did the show ever explicitly say? Also, how do you feel about Russell returning?
• Let's see if I can name all of the pun drinks that they served at the birthday party: Vodka Sotomayor, Rosé the Riveter, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
• "I've been to Europe. I can do anything."
• "STOP TREATING ME SPECIAL!"
• "How'd you even know we still lived here?" "I just knew."
• "Oh my God. I am beautiful. Mother earth, creator. Giver of life. I'm a walking miracle with magic inside. Look at that body. And there is a HUMAN inside of it?! Why have you been so casual about that? This is crazy!"
• I love that Nick copied Russell's home office.
• Did everyone else melt at the little speech Nick gave to Bob? "Bob, I am in love with your daughter and I will be for the rest of my life. I want to ask her to marry me, but only with your blessing."

What did you think of "About Three Years Later"? Sound off in the comments below!

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New Girl 6x22 Review: "Five Stars for Beezus" (Let Me Be Brave) [Contributor: Jenn]

"Five Stars for Beezus"

Original Airdate: April 4, 2017

What has your fear prevented you from doing? Has it stopped you from getting close to someone because you're afraid your heart will get broken? Has it caused you to miss out on incredible and fun opportunities? Has it stopped you from living your life? Fear is a crazy thing because if we internalize it long enough, we can rationalize our fears and use them as an excuse to not do something. I've long said that Jess and I are one in the same in a lot of ways — we're both perfectionists who have their lives planned out. We both love structure and order and relationships don't have that, as much as we'd like to believe we do. Jess has learned over the years, though, that the best things in life are the ones you can't plan out. She didn't plan to find her boyfriend cheating on her and have to move into a loft with three guys she met on Craigslist. She didn't plan to fall in love with one of those guys. She didn't plan to lose her job, teach in a variety of settings, and eventually become the principal of a school. But she did. Just like Nick never planned to move on from Caroline, to find something he's good at, to finish a novel, or to be a successful adult. But he did all of those things.

Everyone in "Five Stars for Beezus" had to learn to be brave. Life is about taking risks and being brave when things are scary. And boy, did everyone take a leap of faith in this episode. While this felt like it could be a series finale, I hope it wasn't. Because I have a feeling that these acts of bravery are just getting started. So below, I'm going to break down the review by talking about the ways in which each character decided to be brave in the episode.

JESS — BY NOT RUNNING AWAY

I talked last week about how Jess' default response to a lot of things is to run away. She ran away to Portland and in this episode, is prepared to do that again — except for a longer period of time. During a book reading, just as Jess is ready to confront him about her feelings, Nick tells the audience that Julius Pepperwood and Jessica Night will never get together because they're based on real people who are just fundamentally different.

It's then that Jess makes the decision to run. Rather than stay and live in the same loft as the man she is in love with, Jess opts out and packs up her stuff to head to Portland for the summer. Both Schmidt and Cece think this is a bad idea, and are desperate for Nick and Jess to just talk about their feelings rather than avoid them. Because even though Jess is a strong woman, she's primarily driven by her emotions. When she gets emotionally invested in someone, it hurts her. And to be rejected by Nick again is something she just can't physically will herself to deal with. It's easier to run — away from Nick and from the potential of getting hurt — than be brave, especially when your emotions are on the line. But everyone in the episode (from Schmidt and Cece to Winston and Aly) encourage Jess to tell Nick how she feels about him, even if it all goes wrong.

By the end of "Five Stars for Beezus," Jess still believes that running away is the best option. That is, until she hears one song on the radio: "(I've Had) The Time of My Life." She smiles in the backseat of the moving van, and I think she finally realizes that she has something incredibly special with Nick. She can't run away from that, even if she places physical distance between them. There will always be something that connects her to him and if she doesn't tell him how she feels, Jess will regret it. She jumps out of the van and decides to be brave. It's a beautiful moment of character progression for a woman whose default is to protect herself and her emotions at all costs. It shows that she realizes the risk and chooses love anyway.

NICK — BY ACCEPTING THAT CHANGE IS GOOD

Nick gets offered a book deal in the episode, which is a small but important storyline because it is indicative of the very thing Nick fears most: change. When Schmidt learns what happened to Jess and how much it's affected her (to the point of leaving for Portland for the summer), he can't help but come to the aid of his longtime friend. That's why, right before Nick takes the meeting with the publisher, Schmidt lays down some hard truths and gets Nick to really think about what he wants. Because this entire exchange was brilliant, I'm about to quote it:

Schmidt: Why on earth do you think that you are so okay with this Reagan break-up? 

Nick: Reagan and I are in different places in our life. It's fine. Why hasn't Jess called me back? 

Schmidt: You guys are pretty good friends, right? But if you remember correctly, you didn't even want Jess to move into the loft. Nick, why do you think that is? ... Why don't you think you wanted Jess to move into the loft? 

Nick: I don't know. Because I was... I was afraid. 

Schmidt: Nick, you have been in love with this girl from the moment you opened the door and you first laid eyes on her. I have never seen you look at anyone else like that in my entire life. ... For once in your life, don't be afraid.

Nick has always been the kind of person who is hesitant. If you remember in "Injured," he tells Jess as much — that he's not the guy who runs into the ocean with everyone else. He's the guy on the beach, holding the wallets. But slowly, over the years, Nick has learned to accept change. He's learned to grow and to be vulnerable with people. Reagan was a huge step for Nick to learn how to communicate how he feels and what he wants in a relationship. He's no longer the guy who can't finish a zombie novel or who is afraid to run into the ocean. Nick is not afraid of change anymore. 

And that's why he runs back to the loft to tell Jess how he really feels about her. 

(Don't worry, we'll come back to Nick and Jess at the end!)

SCHMIDT AND CECE — BY EMBRACING THE UNEXPECTED AND UNIMAGINABLE

You guys, I can't even express how perfect the scene between Schmidt and Cece at the episode's end was. Backing up momentarily, however, Jess answers Cece's phone and discovers that her best friend is pregnant. Winston and Aly then discover this news by answering Cece's phone on accident, and soon, the only person who doesn't know that she's pregnant is Cece.

I think New Girl did a fantastic job back in the day with discussing Cece's fears about not being able to have children. She didn't want them when she thought she had plenty of time, and to hear Cece tell Schmidt that she didn't think it was possible to have kids was heartbreaking and yet uplifting. When Schmidt is tasked with delivering the news, he does so by filling the room with flowers. And this is where Hannah Simone truly shines, because Cece just starts to break down crying. Even though we haven't spent a lot of time recently on Cece and Schmidt's position on having kids, it feels believable that Cece didn't think it was possible to have them, given her age and issues a few years ago.

It feels so satisfying for these two to have found one another and gone through the journey they did. I'll say one thing about New Girl that I've said from the beginning — they're a show that's in it for the long haul. Through Schmidt's season of villainy to Cece finding love with other people, and then them finally being together, the Schmidt/Cece journey was absolutely beautiful. I am incredibly grateful that the writers took their time developing this pairing because it's proof that playing the long game when it comes to television romance might just be the very best thing. 

I absolutely loved everything about the Schmidt/Cece story in "Five Stars for Beezus" and am grateful to this show for writing such an organic-feeling romance.

WINSTON — BY CALLING HIS DAD

After being told by Jess that he has permission to run away from his problems, Winston decides to do a terrifying thing: call his dad. Aly had discovered his father's phone number and gives him the option to contact him. Winston initially declines in the episode and spends most of his time vehemently against any form of connection. But when he sees what Jess is about to do and how she's prepared to run away from the things that scare her, he realizes he would be hypocritical to tell her to stay if he wasn't facing his fears too.

So he calls.

He gets Van's voicemail, but leaves a message anyway and is open to the possibility of eventually meeting his father. After hanging up the phone, Winston tells Jess that now it's her turn to be brave. Though it takes until she gets into the moving truck to do so, Jess eventually decides to be brave. And that leads us to the final section about bravery: Nick and Jess.

NICK AND JESS — BY CONFRONTING ONE ANOTHER

Nick runs back to the loft, only to find that he's too late. Jess has already packed up all of her stuff and moved out. But at that same time, Jess has run back to the loft to tell Nick how she feels about him. It's an adorable moment because it's a callback to something Nick reminisced about earlier — the moment Jess moved into the loft and he first saw her. It's incredibly important because that was the moment Nick realized he loved Jess for the first time, and this is the moment he realized he never stopped loving her.

A hilarious series of near-misses leads the two in the opposite situation: Jess runs up to meet Nick and he runs down to meet her. They holler to one another to stay put, but of course they don't listen. Instead, they find their way to one another in the elevator. Nick is frustrated because a man is taking his sweet time unloading a cart of packages, and Nick tells the man: "I gotta tell my best friend that I'm in love with her!" At that very moment, the man walks out and reveals Jess standing behind him.

I can't explain the kind of perfection with which Zooey Deschanel and Jake Johnson play Jess and Nick. All I know is that the way Nick looks at Jess is strong enough to melt a polar ice cap. I have no doubt in my head that either stopped loving one another. Their connection has always been incredible. From the beginning, there has been a spark and when that spark was explored, the two weren't ready for romance to blossom permanently. They were both still stubborn in what they wanted — Nick didn't want to grow up and Jess didn't want to compromise what she believed was the vision of her perfect future. But now Nick has grown up and Jess has realized that planning isn't always the answer.

So when Nick steps into that elevator, it feels exactly like a moment of clarity (and parallelism, because we all remember how "Virgins" had that elevator scene, right?) for both characters. And as the doors shut, they don't say anything — but they're smiling. It's this relief that after chasing after one another for years and after physically chasing after one another in this episode, they're finally in the same spot. IT WORKS ON BOTH LEVELS: LITERALLY AND METAPHORICALLY. When the doors shut, I assumed the episode would end. But as Lorde's "Green Light" swells, the elevator opens and Nick and Jess are kissing.

Fear has been abandoned and everyone in "Five Stars for Beezus" has learned that being brave takes a lot of effort and work. But in the end, it's still worth it. Because bravery is always harder but more worthwhile than fear. If you don't do the things you want to, you may lose your opportunity.

Kids, as Alexander Hamilton once reminded us all, don't throw away your shot. Be brave. See where it takes you.

And now, bonus points:

• I absolutely loved this episode. Liz Meriwether did an incredible job writing it, and it seemed to wrap up the storylines in a satisfying way.
• (Make no mistake about it: I was freaking out during that final Nick/Jess moment. I rewound my screener a few times to re-watch while writing this. True story.)
• "LET'S HEAR IT FOR BOOKS!"
• I can't get over the fact that the publisher's name is "Merle Streep."
• The scene with Nick, Schmidt, Jess, and Cece in the kitchen was comedy gold.
• "He's always dumb. He's the dumbest boy in school!"
• The Nick/Schmidt conversation at the publisher's is so beautiful that I don't even know where to start. But I think my favorite line is: "Don't be afraid." What a lovely sentiment coming from Schmidt, who has grown so much over the years.
• "Are you going to Portland?" "Nooooo. Portland is hella white."
• "What, Winston? I'm using social media!"
• "Now it's your turn. Be brave."
• Fred Willard guest-starred which means that my two favorite comedies (Community and New Girl) continue to share cast members.
• "It's a caramel miracle." True story, I began sobbing when this scene happened. Schmidt and Cece have come so far, and both Max Greenfield and Hannah Simone's acting was absolutely beautiful — totally understated and true to their characters. I have no doubt Schmidt and Cece will be excellent parents. Also, how adorable were all of those flowers?!
• "I gotta tell my best friend that I'm in love with her!"
• A+++++++ use of Lorde's "Green Light" in that final Nick/Jess scene. BRILLIANT.

Well, folks, I hope I'll see you back here next year! Even though this felt very much like a series finale, there's still hope that the show will be renewed and we'll get to see more antics (a pregnant Cece would be hilarious, Winston still needs to reunite with his dad, and we all want another round of Nick/Jess right?). 

Regardless, I've said from the beginning that the show will end with Nick and Jess together so if it does end, I'm happy they're reunited. Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting over the years and I hope this isn't the end for us! Comment below with your favorite lines and scenes from the episode. :)

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New Girl 6x21 Review: "San Diego" (Darling, Don’t You Ever Grow Up) [Contributor: Jenn]

"San Diego"

Original Airdate: March 28, 2017

Think back to your childhood for a moment. What was the worst thing about being a kid? The inability to do the things grown-ups did? A bad hair day during school pictures? A rejection from a crush? It’s funny — when we’re young, we think that everything is the end of the world. All we want to do is grow up so we can be in charge of our own destinies and make our own decisions.

The joke’s on us, because when we finally do grow up, oftentimes all we want to do is return to those simplistic childhood days where we had no real responsibilities, where life was and easy, where our relationships were simple. Where our hearts didn’t get broken quite as badly, and everything could be solved with a pep talk from our loved ones.

“San Diego” is the penultimate episode of New Girl, and one of the strongest episodes of this season. It brings together a few different stories that have been percolating for a while, and makes me excited to see what the finale holds. In the episode, we get a deep dive into the Nick/Jess relationship (mostly on Jess’ side but we get a really nice moment between Bob Day and Nick that helps cement something Nick might not even realize), and the reveal of Schmidt’s true first name.

A CHILDISH BREAK-UP

Aly says something really poignant to Nick near the end of this episode — she tells him that he tried to break up with Reagan like it meant nothing, when their relationship meant something to him. It seems to hit Nick, whose default response is to panic-moonwalk away from confrontation and all of his issues. (That’s also Jess’ response when it comes to things, but we’ll talk about that later on.) In “San Diego,” Nick knows he needs to break up with Reagan. He wants something more out of their relationship and she isn’t able to give that to him. But he doesn’t want to do the breaking up. That requires confrontation and it might go wrong. So his genius solution? To get Reagan to break up with him first.

That solution actually works, and the reason it does is because Nick is SO bad at breaking up with people that instead of proposing a break-up, he accidentally invites Reagan on a trip to San Diego with him. While on the train to the city, Nick gets off at Anaheim and leaves Reagan on the train without any sort of explanation. It’s a cowardly move and it’s totally childish, but it takes making this decision for Nick to realize why he did it. He actually cared about Reagan. Years ago, Nick would have no problem breaking up with girls.

But he holds onto relationships that mean something to him, and even though theirs wasn’t going anywhere, Reagan is still important to Nick. He still cares deeply about her — loves her, even — and doesn’t want to hurt her (or get hurt). Sometimes we think that avoidance is the best solution to a conflict. And sometimes if we ignore a problem long enough, it really will go away on its own or sort itself out. But most of the time, we need to gather up enough courage to face our issues in order for us to actually become better people.

I think Nick became a better person over the last few years (his decision to jump off a train as a way to get Reagan to break up with him aside). He’s more mature than he once was and financially, as well as emotionally, responsible. Nick eventually does the right thing and tells Reagan that he didn’t know how to break up with her. Both aren’t good at goodbyes, but Reagan is on the same page as Nick and wanted to break up with him for some time.

Nick is now at the point in which he’s ready for something serious. And who is the person he’s ready to be serious with? Well, whether he realizes it or not, it’s Jess. It’s pretty much always been her.

When Nick is going through his struggle on how to break up with Reagan, he calls Jess for advice. He doesn’t know who to turn to, so he turns to one of the closest and most important people in his life. But Jess doesn’t answer her phone; Bob Day does. And when Bob talks to Nick, the latter sings the praises of Jess. In particular, he says this about the woman: “She’s got that giant heart that’s part-compass, part-flashlight. She’s just the greatest person I’ve ever met.”

I’ll leave you momentarily to swoon.

It’s funny to me that New Girl has done the role reversal of Nick and Jess so seamlessly and naturally that it was easy to miss. The show began with these two having a bond and connection. They fell for one another, but for the majority of the series, we’ve seen Nick’s side of the relationship — we’ve watched him cook breakfast for Jess, chase after her, and seek to give her everything. It’s only recently that we’ve watched Jess pining after Nick. The show has given us the chance to empathize with her and her journey. Now, Jess is not only fully aware of her feelings for Nick, but also prepared to do something about them. At the same time, I think Nick is subtly beginning to realize how he’s still in love with Jess.

The way the writers of the show have depicted this journey is rather beautiful. Not every episode had an overt Nick/Jess moment, but there were important, small little things peppered throughout the past season and a half. I think that’s realistic. We don’t always realize how we feel until we pause long enough to evaluate it. To see Nick and Jess date other people post-“Mars Landing” was necessary. There was no way these two would remain single throughout the remainder of the series, and it seems absurd that time would be spent on them pining after one another.

So slowly, and naturally, these two have found their way back toward one another. It’s really lovely to see the show treat their love story as honestly and realistic as possible. And speaking of their love story, Nick isn’t the only person in this week’s episode who is forced to grow up...

HIDING OUT IN PORTLAND

Jess ran away from her feelings for Nick, and this week we see her trying to take her mind off how much she loves him. So she decides to help her dad out with his love life. As it turns out, Bob and Ashley broke up ages ago, and Jess never knew. Jess then does what Jess does best/worst — she meddles. The meddling ends up going well for Bob, who finds a connection. Unfortunately, the meddling just reminds Jess of the fact that she’s alone and ran away from her feelings. She attempts to distract herself, and that’s when Bob gets the phone call from Nick.

What struck me so much about “San Diego” in terms of the Jess storyline is that I really connected with her and believed the depth of her feelings for Nick more than I ever have. She earnestly tells her dad that she’s in love with him. And as much as she wishes she wasn’t, she is. And it hurts to watch him with someone else. After Bob and Nick’s phone call, Bob tracks Jess down to tell her that Nick and Reagan broke up and that Nick might still be in love with Jess — even if he doesn’t realize that’s what it is.

Kudos to Zooey Deschanel for such subtle acting throughout this entire arc, and for the way she played that scene of Jess learning Nick and Reagan broke up. New Girl is doing things right by depicting Jess’ feelings for Nick in the way they have. It was hard for a while, because the show frequently portrayed how much Nick loved her, but not necessarily the reverse. As we approach the season finale next week, I’m really excited to see how this Nick/Jess arc ends up playing out. My hope, of course, is that Jess will confess her feelings and we’ll have a reuniting of the couple. Something tells me that it may not be as easy and quick as that, but we’ll see.

Regardless of what next week holds, I couldn’t be more proud of New Girl for their incredible season and the way they continue to delicately, intentionally, and perfectly handle their romantic pairings.

Additional bits & pieces:

• The other story in this episode involved us learning Schmidt’s real first name — Winston! Schmidt confronts Winston and asks for his name back in order to advance his career. After a lot of back-and-forth, Winston finally agrees. ... And Schmidt then decides to give the man his name back after a moment of intimacy with Schmidt is ruined when Cece refers to him by his real first name. I’m so glad we FINALLY got this mystery solved, and think it’s hilariously perfect that Schmidt’s first name is “Winston.”
• Aly was the real MVP of the episode, and Nasim Pedrad did a hilarious job deadpanning the entire time.
• “DAD, DON’T TALK TO MY FRIENDS.”
• “I said what I needed to say.” “Nothing came out of your mouth.”
• “I feel like I should call San Diego to warn them.”
• “I love him. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”
• “I feel like a single mom in a mop commercial.”
• WINNY THE BISH.
• “I don’t even think he realizes it, but he’s still in love with you.”

What did you all think of “San Diego”? Sound off in the comments below!

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