Empire 2x18 Review: “Past is Prologue” (The Circle Goes Unbroken) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“Past is Prologue”

Original Airdate: May 18, 2016

How quickly things can fall apart. I'm talking, of course, both about Jamal's wedding and the quality of the episode. The emotional sense of the latest few episodes disappeared as quickly as it came as the Lyons collectively lost control.

THE SMASH HITS

That's not to say there aren't good things about this episode. Every scene with the brothers alone together sings because it's clear their relationship is grounded in love. Hakeem and Andre were taking care of Jamal after his hospital stay. Jamal is so disheartened from his family dynamics and the actions that led Freda to pick up that gun that he isn't recovering as quickly as the doctors say he should. Worse than that, even — he's given up music.

Hakeem wants Jamal to perform at his wedding, and he and Andre have been trying to cheer Jamal up and help him get around in his wheelchair. The conversation between the brothers reflects care and concern, and both Hakeem and Andre have been making sacrifices for Jamal. Those small sacrifices, like taking time to help Jamal get around and keeping news about Rhonda from him so Jamal won't worry, mean more than any big flashy plot twist in the episode.

And there were so many plot twists. The thing I like about them — and there's plenty I don't — is that the women of Empire were the ones making moves. Some of them were bad moves, but in a TV season where so many shows treated so many women characters as dispensable, it's refreshing to see so much of the narrative depend on women's choices. It’s too bad, though, that the female characters’ personalities are so inconsistent.

Another great thing about this episode is Taraji. She alone can bring emotional resonance that can save a scene through her acting. In every scene with Cookie and Anika, Taraji's performance was especially great, even when the material she was working with wasn't.

Jamal’s scenes were also strong, probably because they were grounded in his love for music and finding his spirit again after the shooting. It was sort of a pointless twist to have him give up music when he returned to it again so soon and with so little trouble, but it was great to see him quietly come back to himself, and I commend the show for allowing Jamal to walk again without making it yet another empty plot twist. He just quietly got up when he was feeling ready, and no one commented on it. This small moment, like the scenes with Hakeem and Andre, were stronger than any of the multiple scenes where someone’s life was threatened. Small, emotional stakes work better than large, life or death stakes that are ultimately empty.

As for the things that weren’t so good, well... there were a lot.

THE B SIDE

Who is Shine Johnson and why is he taking up so much of my season finale? Okay, I know who he is, but he definitely did not matter enough to the Lyons or to the season to earn taking up so many terrible minutes in the season ender. He was basically there to cause a fight at Hakeem’s wedding — which, let’s be honest, he wasn’t needed for. A fight could have broken out at a Lyon wedding for SO MANY other reasons. Shine was also there to puncture Laura’s family’s idea that the Lyons were a stand up, respectable family. To which I say hahahahhahha, did you guys really think the Lyons were a safe, loving family? And the only person they had a problem with coming to the wedding was Shine Johnson? Out of all Lucious’ associates, Shine is possibly the loudest, but he is definitely not the most dangerous.

Laura has been such a disappointment this season. Ever since she and Hakeem got engaged, her personality has completely flattened out. Her scenes with Hakeem are too few and too unemotional, and when she canceled the wedding because of a fist fight during the ceremony, it did not seem earned and I felt nothing. No sadness, no surprise, just nothing. (Also, girl, if you think a fight fight at a Lyon event is the worst thing that could happen, you definitely do not know this family. And if that’s all it takes to break up a marriage, you definitely were not ready to get married.)

This is really the crux of the problem this season has had. It’s got plenty of twists but no emotion, so the twists don’t have an impact. On top of that, none of the plot of this episode made sense, and the characters spent way too much screen time trying to explain it.

The Feds are after the Lyons again, and the writers had to shoehorn a reason for them to be after Lucious again, so Lucious and Cookie spent way too much time in conversation that was meant to explain their situation to the audience more than it was for the emotional journey of their characters. The episode also used dialogue to explain away the plot twists from the last few episodes that didn’t pan out and simply disappeared. Remember how Lucious’ mom walked right up to the reporters at the end of the last episode and was ready to spill the beans? This episode ignored that completely except for Lucious telling his mother how glad he was that Thirsty got to her before she told all those reporters everything. I get the feeling that the writers have a competition for how many plot lines they can erase from the previous episodes. So much plot simply vanishes. Like Anika’s hospital stay. We still don’t know why she was in the hospital! What does that mean for the development of the baby? Who cares, I guess!

Ah, Anika. Precious nonsensical blueberry Anika. Nothing she does makes sense, and her personality changes depending on what the plot needs her to do. Take, for example, her suicidal jaunt on Empire’s balcony. She — looking beautiful in a light, gauzy white outfit that makes her look like an angel — perches on the edge of the balcony, ready to jump because she would rather die than snitch on Lucious. Where is this sentiment coming from?! Lucious threatened her life a few episodes ago, and she was ready to leave the Lyons and go it alone. After Lucious broke up with her, she went straight to work with his enemy and also slept with his son to hurt him. She clearly has no problem hurting Lucious, and her plot would have been so much better if she worked with the Feds because she knew it would be better for her and her baby, and becuase it would hurt the man who took so much from her.

Another idea would have been to have the pregnancy mess with her hormones, making her suicidal and giving an explanation for her hospital stay. With that small change, this plot would have made so much more sense. Instead, we have suicidal Anika... because the Feds want her to snitch on Lucious. Which also makes no sense! Why would the Feds want to talk to Anika? What could she possibly have on Lucious’ misdeeds before he even met her?

Also not making sense is Rhonda, whose personality changes from week to week as well. She is either a sweet and hard-working woman who loves Andre and wants the best for him, or a devious mastermind who wants her husband to murder for her. Her attack on Anika in the Lyon’s’ house seemed so out of character, especially since last week she calmly talked to Anika and tried to trick her into confessing. Rhonda has always been more willing to work behind the scenes than to try to kill someone in front of the entire family. But she persists, at least for this episode, and comes back in the final moments to try to kill Anika again. The scene cuts away before we see what happens, but it’s possible she, Anika, or both went over the balcony and to their doom.

Or not. They could be totally fine and this event may never be mentioned again, it’s hard to say.

Cookie crumbs:

• Okay, I had to cut off complaining about what didn’t make sense somewhere, otherwise this review would go on forever, but I also want to mention that Anika and Lucious did get married so that Anika wouldn’t have to testify against him. This is my least favorite trope! I know I shouldn’t pick too much at what’s not realistic on a soap opera, but the marriage to avoid testifying plot is so overdone. Also, it’s so, so false. It only applies in a few cases, and it definitely doesn’t apply to things Lucious did before they got married. It’s just a pet peeve of mine, I’m sure you all have TV pet peeves, too. Tell me about them in the comments!
• Actual notes I took while watching this episode: Omg they go through a WEDDING CEREMONY?????? What the actual heck. YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE????? They know they don’t have to kiss, right?
• Oh yeah, Tyriq is Lucious’ half brother.
• Every scene with the brothers alone in an elevator is so great. The Empire writers should really consider a bottle episode where Jamal, Hakeem, and Andre get stuck there for a while.
• As Laura is getting ready to walk down the aisle, her father tells her he hopes Hakeem will keep her safe, which is not a normal thing to say.
• Laura’s wedding dress was beautiful.
• For an episode that referenced a cycle so much, it sure did forget a lot of the past events of Empire. 
• It’s been a fun season, y’all. Thanks for reading along with me.

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Empire 2x17 Review: “Rise by Sin” (Take a Shot) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“Rise by Sin”

Original Airdate: May 11, 2016

Let’s ignore for a minute that the ASAs make no sense — has Lucious really never been before? Why did Laura wear a short dress to a clearly very formal event? Why would Jamal tell Freda career-changing news right before an award ceremony is supposed to start? — this was a good episode of Empire. The Lyons finally got to the event they have worked so long and hard for, only to not even make it inside before disaster struck in a terrifically soapy way.

FAMILY TIES

They say it takes an army, and for Lucious that might actually be true. For him to get to the ASAs, he enlists the help of General Thirsty and his squadron, who barricade Lucious’ enemies in a fortress. In this case, Luicous’ enemies are his mother and oldest son, who was trying to sneak his grandmother into the ASAs, and the fortress was a safe room in Lucious’ house. Andre should have known he wouldn’t have gotten away with sneaking anything out of Lucious’ own home, but he tries anyway because his grandmother is a symbol of the family love he didn’t have growing up and he is desperate for it now.

The rest of the family, though, makes it to the awards. Lucious and Cookie have a heart to heart where Lucious says he couldn’t imagine going to the ASAs with anyone but the woman who helped him build his empire. He then gives her a truly gorgeous bracelet, and Cookie excitedly freaks out an appropriate amount.

Jamal goes to the ASAs, too, but not with D-Major. Since he’s not out yet, D-Major denies Jamal anytime anyone else is around. Unfortunately, Lucious walks in the room when Jamal and D-Major are standing suspiciously close to each other, and D-Major loses it. He tells Jamal to get off him, and he tells Lucious to talk to his son. Well, talk to him he does, and Lucious and Jamal have a truly terrible fight for the ages.

I am honestly sort of glad that Lucious has committed to his vile self. Telling Jamal he would celebrate when he dies from AIDS and choking him as he holds up his arm to hit him will hopefully be enough that Jamal doesn’t forgive and forget his father as easily as he has forgiven his transgressions in the past. (I say that, but apparently all of the Lyons have forgotten about Lucious killing dear ol’ Bunky.) Lucious is a good evil character, and I like him best (hate him best?) when he is being terrible. I don’t want him to be redeemed, and I don’t believe him as a character when he does anything good or selfless.

His sons try to be different from him, but they may have more of Lucious in them than they like to think. Hakeem is straight up terrible to Laura. Why does he think her career won’t take off? It’s been like five minutes since she opened for Tiana and because she didn’t immediately become an international superstar he’s ready to tell her she’s dunzo? And he does know that he doesn’t have to obey what the paparazzi ask him to do, right? He did not have to send Laura away so he could have his picture taken alone.

I miss the sweet, good-hearted Laura from before, who was a good contrast to the Lyons. Now whenever she’s on screen it’s for too little time and she comes across as a lot less nuanced. With so little focus on her emotional state, she becomes much more of caricature reacting to Hakeem than a full character on her own.

GIRL, INTERRUPTED

Since this is the event that the back half of the season has been building toward, of course it goes awry before it even gets started. Once the Lyons assemble on the red carpet, everything begins to fall apart.

Lucious and Cookie are trying to give good sound bites to the press, but it’s hard when their sons keep making going off script. And that’s before Cookie’s off-the-wagon sister shows up drunk.

Jamal uses his time in the press to tell them his album is being shelved and that tonight will be the last night he’s on stage with his family. He then, for some inexplicable reason, decides to tell Freda that they should talk about her leaving Empire without giving her any explanation. Then, with the help of a truth bomb from drunk Aunt Carol, Freda puts it together that Lucious is the one who killed her father. Freda doesn’t hesitate before grabbing a security guard’s gun and heading for Lucious. But Jamal steps out in front, trying to stop her, and gets shot instead.

Taraji sold the heck out this scene and did a stupendous job reacting to Jamal’s injury. From the initial horror on the red carpet to a dazed stupor in the hospital, her acting grounded this episode in emotion. If you had any doubt she deserved her Golden Globe, this scene should put that to rest. Jamal’s fate is left hanging, but I have no doubt he’ll survive. For me, the suspense of whether he lives or not isn’t the point of this plot — what matters is the family’s reactions and how they deal with the consequences.

I like Freda a lot, and I like her and Jamal’s friendship a lot, so I’m sad that there likely won’t be any more scenes of them making music together — at least not any time soon. Empire had a gunshot wound this week and there’s a wedding next week, so surely we’re due for an evil twin or an amnesia plotline. My bet is amnesia for Jamal.

Cookie crumbs:

• Thanks for being flexible and checking out this review even though it’s a little late. I’ll be on time for the finale this week and what is sure to be the wedding event of the season. 
• Freda looks so great in her suit. 
• Does literally every single meeting at Empire get interrupted so a Lyon can have a fight in the boardroom? 
• Cookie really knows how to work the red carpet. 
• Oh, also the Feds are after the Lyons again, through Carol and with the help of a snitching Anika. 
• Rhonda could stand to learn a few things from her in-laws if she wants to trick a murderer into confessing. 
• Omg WHAT were Cookie’s flip-down sunglasses?

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Empire 2x16 Review: “The Lyon Who Cried Wolf” (Mommy and Me) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“The Lyon Who Cried Wolf”

Original Airdate: May 4, 2016

This episode opened with some cheesy lines from the new Lyon matriarch like “The boy is famous now” and “I had the voice but they never gave me a chance” and “Your eyes... are you kin to me?” all one after the other during a Bingo game. And I have to admit that had me a little worried for the direction of the episode, but it looks like Empire has centered on the theme of family. Which always works better than, say, crazy journalist storylines. (Luckily for us and unluckily for Harper, I think that storyline is over with now.)

MOMMIE DEAREST

Cookie is working to set the Lyons up to perform a family song at the ASA awards, which everyone is building up as the biggest award show and biggest world stage ever, and can apparently make or break your career and company. Because it is the Lyons, they can’t agree on how to sing their song, and petty arguments ensue. Because this is Empire, Andre thinks their rehearsal for the show at the Leviticus club is the perfect time to reintroduce his family to their supposedly dead grandmother.

The thing I love about Grandma Lyon is that, finally, someone appeared to give Lucious a run for his money. She looks like a feeble old lady, but her history with Lucious is deep and there’s a lot of pain there. Also, when she’s around Lucious, she turns into an unstable, dangerous woman who could seriously do him some harm. (I’m as yet decided as to what her characterization says about stereotypes of bipolar disorder. I think the show has done a pretty good job showing that Andre isn’t a crazy evil person because of his illness, so time will tell what’s really going on with Grandma.)

She is the only one in or out of the Lyon family to truly be a threat to Lucious’ well-being. Cookie can annoy him, sure, but neither her nor their sons can unnerve Lucious like his mama can. One of the problems with Empire is that Lucious has been allowed to run wild without any repercussions or threats. His family still hung around him, Cookie was still feeling him, and he just got back to Empire. With his mother in the picture, Lucious’ antics won’t go unchecked, and hopefully his actions won’t keep getting crazier and crazier, with no consequences.

Because Andre has decided he wants to take care of his grandmother, he insists she remains out of the nursing home. And when Grandma Lyon insists she goes home with her son Dwight, for some reason Lucious complies. I’m a little unclear why Lucious couldn’t have just taken her back to the home instead of taking her to his house, but maybe he was already worried for his life. It turns out that worry is not unfounded, because when she gets to Lucious’ home, she dismisses the maid who was supposed to keep an eye on her and then forces Lucious to eat cakes she baked. It’s a pretty delicious scene, and not just because it was filled with cake. It was somehow chilling, over-the-top ridiculous, and still believable that Lucious would be worried for his life. I mean, I wouldn’t say no if an unstable woman who previously tried to drown me was holding a very large, very sharp knife and telling me to eat something. For a show that has focused on fatherhood in the past, it looks like its new stories are coming from the moms.

Anika is back from the hospital (still no word on why she was in there, though) and is setting up a nursery in Hakeem’s place. She’s getting cozy with Rhonda, who finally remembers the feeling of hands on her back before she fell down the stairs and lost the baby. And just like that, it looks like we’re back to the storyline of Rhonda getting pushed down the stairs. I really don’t know what is going to happen with Anika and her baby. I can’t see a baby working on the show for long, but getting Anika more intertwined with the Lyons is a good thing for her character.

BAD ROMANCE

Jamal’s new man is a master of the neg. The ASA music director D-Major plays hot and cold with Jamal, first yelling at him for interrupting his session and then angry kissing him during an argument. D-Major isn’t out, so he wants to keep his budding romance with Jamal a secret. Getting involved with anyone involved with the ASAs can’t possibly end well for Jamal, even (especially?) if he wins an award. I am grateful that it looks like the reappearance of boring boyfriend Michael is over as quickly as it came up.

As ridiculous as some of the scenes were in the episode, they actually hung together a lot better than last week’s. Most of what happened was logical and made sense within the world of the show. Hopefully the last few episodes of the season will be like this one.

Cookie Crumbs:

• Is anyone else worried about what happened to the maid Juanita?
• I love the shoutout to Ryan Coogler, director of Creed and Fruitvale Station. I hope Hakeem’s song gets picked for his new movie. 
• Loved Becky teaching Porshe how to be a good assistant. 
• That long moment where Andre and Rhonda played with the video screen on their car must have been an ad, and it did not work very well. 
• I maybe liked that Lucious had Harper killed? It makes him seem more like his evil self if he actually carries through on his threats. Also she was sort of a terrible character.
• Of course Anika wears Louboutins to push someone down the stairs. 
• Super creepy that Rhonda just gave all her baby things to the woman who made her lose the baby.

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Empire 2x15 Review: “More Than Kin” (False Alarm) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“More Than Kin”

Original Airdate: April 27, 2016

A lot of things happened in this episode of Empire, but logic was not one of them. Starting with the opening — which made it look like Hakeem was making a music video, but it was actually his real life and he was just tearing it up at a strip club — the fake-outs got a bit out of hand.

HAKEEM TAKES AN L

The episode started with Hakeem at a strip club, popping $1,000 bottles of champagne, with his people throwing dollar bills everywhere. (Rude much? Why are you making people pick up money off of the floor?) He was also singing his own song and working a fairly-coordinated dance routine, so it looked a lot like a flashy music video. Except it wasn’t a video; it was his real life, and his new fiancée was blowing up his phone while he partied. Because of an app that Hakeem left on that tells his location, and because he was all over Instagram, Laura knew where he was and showed up at the club.

Weirdly, Empire saved its logical explanations for how Laura could find Hakeem at a strip club. I would have bought that she just knew what club he frequented and checked there when she couldn’t get in touch with him, so the multiapp detective job seems a little more complicated than necessary. Also, if she could find him from an app he left on that tells people where his pop up shows were, wouldn’t a bunch of his fans have shown up to the club, too?

This is what happens when you look too closely at Empire’s plot: it starts to look like Swiss cheese. If the episode has enough of an emotional story, the plot logistics matter less and I’m willing to look past any holes that might be there. But when the emotional storyline is less powerful, the holes get so big I am afraid I will fall in.

For example, everyone keeps telling Cookie that she’s still in love with Lucious, but I don’t see the emotion between them. It would be convenient for Cookie to still be in love with Lucious, because why else would she let him get away with so much? But when she and Lucious are together, there is no romantic chemistry. There used to be! But I don’t see it anymore. As her sons’ complaints about her feelings for Lucious have increased, Cookie’s behavior toward Lucious has stayed exactly the same. Just because Cookie makes snide remarks about a new woman in Lucious’ life doesn’t mean she’s convincingly selling her emotions for him. It just means that Cookie is territorial about her family and her company — and she is. Continuously telling me that Cookie is jealous doesn’t make me actually believe it. She has to show me, too.

FAKERS GONNA FAKE

The second fake-out of the episode came when Lucious was taking that other woman on a date. Before I get to their disastrous date, let’s talk about Harper for a second. Harper has no personality. She is just another vindictive lady journalist who sleeps with her sources, and I am so bored of those I could die. When she and Lucious go on their date, they embark on a truly terrible scene. I mean, it is just not sexy at all, and they got so violent that I actually thought Lucious might accidentally kill her. Which, honestly, would have been a more exciting story than what did happen. What did happen was they were mercifully interrupted by a text from Cookie letting him know that Anika was in the hospital.

Which brings me to fake-out number three: Cookie had gone over to Anika’s to smooth things over after Lucious threatened to kill her in childbirth last week (because, sure, that can be smoothed over). Cookie found Anika being rushed to the hospital, so she jumped in the ambulance with her. In an actually sort of emotional scene, Cookie helps Anika calm down and breathe, and Cookie begins to struggle with what it means to become a grandmother. When they get to the hospital, though, Anika is... fine. No one ever says what was wrong with her, and Lucious moves her to a fancy room. Good thing we spent all that time on an emergency hospital run, I guess?

Fake-out four comes when Laura breaks off her engagement to Hakeem after she finds out about Anika’s pregnancy. Well, first Hakeem just assumed she broke up with him because she slapped him after he told her about Anika. But then she really did break up with him and gave his ring back. But then Lucious called Laura and convinced her to give Hakeem another chance, so now they are engaged again. Whew, that was quick and pointless.

Also in this episode, Andre started a National Lyons for Bipolar Disorder organization and found out that Lucious’ mother is still alive, and Jamal sings in a small club in the fun musical scene for the week.

Cookie Crumbs:

• Jamal looked ridiculous in his all black get up with his sunglasses inside.
• I love that every time we see Laura, she is wearing a more expensive outfit. Get that Lyon money, girl.
• I really do not understand how the ASA awards work. Why are people campaigning? Are they like the Oscars? When will they be over? 
• Harper runs a music blog, so why does everyone keep talking about getting Lucious on the front page? The front page of what? Her website? Where all her new stories go? I just cannot.
• Does Hakeem seem angrier that Lucious forced Anika’s father to commit fraud than he does about Lucious threatening Anika’s life? 
• Oh yeah, Michael — the most boring boyfriend in the world — is back. The show is really are going back to season one, even the bad parts. 
• Of course Hakeem parties to his own music. Of course he does. 

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Empire 2x14 Review: “Time Shall Unfold” (Family First) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“Time Shall Unfold”

Original Airdate: April 20, 2016

Empire continues to hit the reset button as it puts Lucious back on top as CEO. And, honestly, I am relieved. It was getting exhausting watching the show struggle to find reasons to keep talking to Lucious when he’s so horrible, but now he’s forced into their lives once again in a legitimate way. As I keep saying, focusing on the Lyons as a unit is when this show works the best.

HAKEEM’S OUT

The show tried to make Hakeem seem like a legitimate option for CEO, but he was never totally convincing. In every meeting he’s in, something goes wrong and he doesn’t have the answer to fix it. Of course, everything goes wrong because Lucious sabotages it, which I’m sure the board would not be happy to hear.

Real quick: How does Empire get anything done when its meetings are constantly being interrupted by everyone clearing the room? No wonder all the big initiatives are running behind schedule.

But even without Lucious’ tricks, Hakeem couldn’t have held it together for long. His MO is to self-destruct. In the past few episodes alone he’s cheated on his girlfriend, proposed to that same girlfriend, blackmailed an ex, harmed his relationship with his company’s star, and found out he is going to be a father with Anika, who is neither his ex nor his fiancée. And somehow his biggest mistake of all was not cutting Lucious’ mic the second he showed up in that shareholder meeting. So it’s no surprise, really, that the board votes him out and goes with the evil they know: Lucious.

I’m pleased Anika is being woven back into the Lyons’ lives and deeper into Empire’s story. Her scenes with Lucious are always fraught, and she has a history with this family that is needed to ground some of the crazier storylines.

But on the other hand, Anika, do you really want your baby to grow up with THIS family? You have got to be kidding. Your baby’s grandfather/your ex-fiance just threatened to somehow kill you in childbirth if you didn’t accept his offer to buy your baby for $10 million.

JAMAL TRIES TO MAKE MUSIC

First of all, bless any meeting that has Becky dancing. Second, Cookie is not being very subtle about hating Freda Gatz. Cookie claims Freda is dangerous because she could find out Lucious killed her father and take revenge, I guess? (I’m actually guessing; it’s unclear.)

Unfortunately for Cookie, Jamal has a real connection with Freda. They make a great musical team, and he wants to put her on two tracks of the Black and White album. In spite of this connection, Jamal is still led astray by the promise of working with Stacee Run Run, a super hot rapper who demands that she be the only female rapper on an album.

Surprisingly, Freda takes this news a lot better than when Lucious kicked her off his song. She understood where Jamal was coming from, that working with Stacee would be huge, and she packs up her things and leaves. When Jamal finally comes to his senses and begs Freda to keep working with him, she seems a little worn down at the back and forth with the Lyons. She’s not sure if she’ll come back to Jamal, but I hope she does, if only because they both seem so fun and enjoyable to watch when they are working on music together. As the only relationship on Empire based on mutual respect, Freda and Jamal’s friendship is refreshing!

ANDRE GOES BACK TO HIS ROOTS

Andre and Rhonda also hit the reset button and turn once again to scheming to get control of Empire. After the blow up at Lucious’ house last week, Rhonda can’t stand to go home to the house that he bought them. She and Andre are working on their marriage after all the trauma they’ve been through, and Rhonda says she was happiest when they were working as a team to take over the world. Andre’s world is, of course, Empire, so he joins forces with Lucious so he can get closer to Empire’s boardroom. This is exactly where they started in season one, and it would be nice to see them getting back into evil plotting, which is what the Lyons do best.

I’m glad to see Empire doing what it excelled at in season one: Evil plots focused on the control of Empire and control of each other. The show has now moved past so many storylines and is setting up the last few episodes of the season to be focused on our favorite backstabbing family, which possibly has a new living matriarch because (dun dun dunn) Lucious’ mother is alive!

Cookie Crumbs:

• How come no one on the board has thought to ask Cookie to be CEO? 
• The timelines on Empire are a little squishy. I have no idea how much time has lapsed since Lucious’ stint in jail, and Hakeem said he’s been too busy to release new music in the past few months? Also Anika isn’t showing yet, so how far along is she and when was the last time she was with Hakeem? 
• Cookie’s outfits were all on point this episode. That purple suit was especially great.
• The trouble with Anika’s storyline is that it does introduce a baby into the show again, and no baby storyline so far has every really had legs.
• I’m guessing that Anika probably pushing Rhonda down the stairs will come up later? Unless it’s just another story the writers are burying. 

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Empire 2x13 Review: “The Tameness of a Wolf” (Daddy Issues) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“The Tameness of a Wolf”

Original Airdate: April 13, 2016

Last week had me a little worried, but this was another strong episode of Empire that focused on the Lyon family and actually addressed a few of the quibbles I had last week.

First, though, Empire says goodbye to Camilla with a tasteful party at the company. Just kidding! It looks like an art gallery with snacks, giant portraits of Camilla, and Cookie making homophobic comments about Camilla and Mimi’s murder-suicide. It seems a little like the writers just wanted to get the Camilla/Mimi storyline over with as quickly as possible, so a murder-suicide was a way to just wrap it up ASAP.

If a murder-suicide is a way to move the story along without shaking things up or affecting any of the other characters, perhaps the deaths weren’t earned and Mimi and Camilla weren’t that well-drawn in the first place. But I am also ready to move on from this storyline, so I won’t spend too much time on it.

Everything this week focused on Lucious. Even when Hakeem was in D.C. dealing with Laura and Tiana, everything was related to family and how Hakeem measured up to his father.

Lucious, whose focus is always on himself, is working on his video for “Boom boom boom boom.” Because of Jamal’s big reveal that Lucious is a phony, Lucious is inspired to tell the world his story. It’s a power move, really. He’s taking what Jamal thought would be an injury to him and turning it into a huge opportunity. It’s this kind of quick thinking that got Lucious off the streets and into the boardroom of Empire in the first place: he does whatever it takes to get to the top.

So instead of fire and dragons, he re-imagined the video as the day his mother held him underwater in the bathtub and then committed suicide. It’s a chilling story — you know it’s powerful when the show has me feeling sorry for Lucious. No child, or mother, should have to go through what they went through. Lucious struggles with this part of his past because it doesn’t align with who he imagines himself to be. He erased every part of his childhood when he created Lucious Lyon, and going back to dig all that up again is difficult, even for someone as cold as Lucious.

But it’s effective storytelling, for the show and for Lucious. By letting his fans in on his past, he gets to reinvent himself yet again — this time as Dwight Walker, a man who overcame tragedy and living on the street to achieve his dreams.

He’s still Lucious though, so he creates this video at the expense of his surrogate daughter, Freda Gatz. He doesn’t even tell Freda she’s off the song until she shows up to shoot the video. No wonder Freda went straight from the video set to Jamal, who pitched a new song with Freda as a way to get back at Lucious.

Just after I complained that I didn’t see how anyone had any time to write music in between all their evil plotting, Jamal spends the entire episode working on one song. I actually really liked seeing the song come together and seeing him and Hakeem working on it. The music business is still a business, and this episode allowed both Jamal and Lucious to actually be seen doing the work. It’s great to see the Lyons participating in the business they risk everything for, and it worked to refocus the show on what matters most to them.

Lucky for Cookie, the family was able to take a break from work long enough to come to her birthday dinner at Lucious’ house. Lucious acted like he was the only one who came before leading her to a room where the entire family was singing "Happy Birthday." I hate the idea that to plan surprise parties, people have to make the person think that no one is coming to their birthday so they will be surprised when people show up — but I’ll let it go this time because it was really cute to see the entire family singing for their mom.

After celebrating a little bit, for some inexplicable reason, Cookie decided that her birthday party was the right time to show a rough cut of Lucious’ video. Call me crazy, but I don’t think introducing her family to Lucious’ horrific experience of watching his mother commit suicide goes very well with cake. (I just saw The Invitation, y’all, so it’s been a rough few days of people showing inappropriate videos at dinner parties.)

Obviously, after years of being made to feel ashamed and embarrassed for his mental illness, Andre is upset to learn that Lucious’ own mother may have been bipolar and Lucious never said a word about it. Aside from the obvious medical benefits of knowing your family’s history with mental illness, Lucious made Andre feel alien and inadequate in his own family. Instead of offering Andre support, Lucious left Andre alone in his struggles, and he repeated those choices again at the party when he told Andre that he was embarrassed of his mom just like he’s embarrassed of his son.

This scene, probably the best in the episode, worked because Empire has spent time building up to it. The tentative way Andre held Rhonda’s hand in the opening scene said so much more than the entirety of Camilla’s death scene last week because Andre’s actions have weight. The show has also spent time on Lucious’ complicated feelings of guilt and shame surrounding his own mother. So when Andre’s and Lucious’ pasts crash into each other at a family party, it has a big impact.

It’s not right that Lucious made Andre feel shame about his illness — no one should ever be made to feel that way — but I can also see how Lucious got there. He was so afraid to face what happened to his mother that, when Andre was diagnosed with the same illness, he couldn’t deal with it. Lucious is the worst. I think we can all agree on that. To make him more than a cartoon evildoer, he has to be grounded in humanity somehow. That pain and fear is what makes him horrible, but it’s also what makes him human.

Cookie Crumbs:

• I know it’s cheesy, but I still loved the scene of Jamal, Hakeem, and that kid dropping bars in Philly. 
• “I heard about your weekend, freak nasty.” I love that Becky’s wild life outside the office is referenced on a throwaway line. It would be nice to see a little more of Becky’s life, though.
• I think it’s important to show that Cookie really isn’t over Lucious — otherwise why would she choose to hang out with him over her sons on her birthday? 
• Of course Camilla’s fashion business was named Anthony and Cleopatra. 
• I didn’t even mention it in the review, but big dummy Hakeem’s reaction to watching his family fall apart at dinner was to go to DC to propose to Laura. Laura seems like an actual good person, and to get any close to the Lyons will destroy her completely.

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Empire 2x12 Review: “A Rose by Any Other Name” (Lyon Lies) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“A Rose by Any Other Name”

Original Airdate: April 6, 2016

Hakeem has begun his reign at Empire, and so far only two people have died, so he’s already doing better than his dad. Both Hakeem and Lucious first appeared in the episode while sitting on chairs that look like thrones — remember what we said about Empire and subtlety — but I’m not convinced either will stick it out long enough to be king of Empire.

THE PRINCE

Hakeem opens the episode holding court with a bunch of suspiciously attractive reporters as he lays out his plans for Empire as the new CEO. In Hakeem’s favor, he has the ability to sign papers, order people around, and create logos with his face on it. (How did he know who to even ask to create a logo that quickly? Unclear.) But the CEO has to do real work right? Hakeem has a lot of people working around him, but the only business he took care of so far was getting busy with Camilla.

To get Empire out from under Camilla and Mimi’s control, the Lyon clan wants Hakeem to set up Mimi to be recorded saying she did illegal things to gain control of the company. Hakeem knows Mimi is too smart to get caught that way, so he instead sets up Camilla. After taping them having sex, he anonymously sends the tape to Mimi, Camilla’s wife. Mimi responds by selling all her shares in Empire, which Andre quickly picks up by using the money in a trust he created for his son. Camilla responds by murdering Mimi and setting it up to look like a suicide. And on top of all that, Lucious arrives at Camilla’s place just in time to see her scrubbing away her fingerprints next to Mimi’s body. He then, of course, tries to convince Camilla to then kill herself to avoid going to jail for killing Mimi.

But, sure, I guess Hakeem is CEO material.

Actually, murder is par for the course for an Empire CEO, though you think they’d have learned from the last time they lost their CEO to prison. It’s true that Hakeem didn’t technically kill Camilla or Mimi, and Lucious certainly had a bigger hand in convincing Camilla to kill herself than Hakeem did, but you also can’t disentangle Hakeem from these events, either. Lucious is poison, and using his tactics infects you with his deadly disease. (Here’s where I admit I’m not 100% convinced that Camilla is dead. Did she actually drink poison or just make it look like she did?)

No matter the destruction, Hakeem’s family sure was impressed at his CEO antics. Jamal said that Hakeem was a natural, and even Cookie praised his blackmailing skills. And, after all, it did get them what they wanted: Mimi’s shares of the company and Camilla out of the way. Laura, I’m sure, will be much less impressed when she finds out Hakeem was sleeping with Camilla. It was also poor form for Hakeem to want to keep Laura from going on a tour that would be huge for her because he wants to keep her close to him. Hakeem’s relationship issues have never seemed ickier.

THE KING AND HIS SUBJECTS

Okay, seriously who thought Lucious Lyon was his real name? Probably the same people who voted for Hakeem to be CEO after all he did was walk on top of a table. Logic has never been Empire’s strong suit, and usually you just have to accept things and move on, but I feel like this episode asked us to accept a lot of things. There was never a stagier stage name than Lucious Lyon.

To get back at his dad for spreading the rumor he hooked up with Skye, Jamal writes a song exposing Lucious as inauthentic. For some reason, everyone is acting like being inauthentic and using a name different than the one you were born with is a bigger crime than shooting and killing your best friend. Lucious says he won’t retaliate, but he also threatened to kill his youngest son, so excuse me if I don’t take his word for it.

Andre and Rhonda are still recovering from losing their baby and went to marriage counseling. Only this counseling session was more like an ambush from the paranoid Andre. Andre is showing signs of his bipolar disorder again, but he’s turning to his pastor instead of his doctor.

Cookie spent most of the episode saying empty threats to Hakeem and being way too involved in his sex life. Empire's biggest issue is that when you threaten big events and don’t follow through, those events start to lose their emotional weight. Last week worked because losing Andre’s baby and Lucious’ threats against Hakeem were real and imposing. And when Cookie rebuffed Hakeem last week, it seemed cold, especially on the heels of her and Hakeem getting closer as they worked together at Lyon Dynasty. But this week, when Cookie keeps making threats against Hakeem, it’s clear she will never follow through. Hakeem doesn’t seem mad at her like he was mad at Lucious, he seems like he is working with her to try to get Empire back. So there weren’t any repercussions of her kicking Hakeem out of the family at the hospital.

The same thing can be said for Lucious’ threat against Hakeem’s life. Lucious is clearly vicious and unstable enough to seriously injure Hakeem, or even attempt to kill him. But this week, all the members of his family kept making references to “Lucious’ twitchy trigger finger” and no one actually seemed alarmed or like they were worried about protecting Hakeem, or staying away from Lucious. So now the weight of last week’s events is diminished.

But even with those issues, this was a dramatic episode with a lot of moving parts. Hopefully some of that emotional weight comes back next week.

Cookie crumbs:

• My boyfriend’s brother was an extra on this episode — I’ve been waiting for MONTHS to tell you all this. Remember when Rhonda was talking to two guys about a photo shoot, and about holding up a woman for 10 minutes? He was the guy who got picked up. 
• Great, I’m going to have “Flippy Flop” stuck in my head all week. 
• Did anyone else think it was hilarious every time someone said “boom boom boom boom boom”? 
• In between all this evil plotting, I don’t see how anyone has time to write new songs.

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Empire 2x11 Review: “Death Will Have His Day” (An Evil Empire) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

“Death Will Have His Day” 

Original Airdate: March 30, 2016

Empire is back! And I mean really back: back to the intense Shakespearean drama that was season one. It picks up where it left off before the break, with Rhonda at the bottom of the stairs, and Lucious in his office after the board — including Hakeem — voted to remove him as CEO.

Empire works best when it’s tightly focused on the Lyons. After all, the Lyons put family above everything — well, everything except Empire. Every scene with the Lyons crackled with chemistry, but the scenes involving Jamal’s award nomination or Hakeem’s many ladyfriends fell a little flat.

FATHER AND SON

The most powerful storyline for me was Rhonda losing her baby. I sort of wish, though, that they had some sort of warning for seeing Rhonda covered in blood going through her miscarriage. It was quite graphic and pretty upsetting!

Empire began with a conflict between Lucious and his sons. This episode worked because it focused on that conflict. Almost every storyline could be traced back to daddy issues, including Rhonda and Andre losing their son. Rhonda feels like she is letting Andre down by not keeping his heir safe, and Lucious lost the grandson he was so looking forward to meeting. Of course, part of why Lucious looked forward to a grandson was so he could have another minion to try to control, but he’d never admit that out loud.

Rhonda voiced what so many women have felt after they miscarry (of course, there is no regular reaction): guilt for not being able to bring their baby into the world safely, loss of faith in God for letting this happen, and just being heartbroken. I was touched when Cookie told Andre that she and Lucious went through a miscarriage before Andre was born. They lost a daughter. They were so upset they just moved forward and acted like it didn’t happen. But not talking about miscarriages, which are sadly so common, can make women feel more alone and more stigmatized when it happens.

The other huge father and son issue this episode was, of course, Lucious threatening to kill Hakeem because Hakeem took his company away. I mean, talk about daddy issues. Cookie manages to hold Lucious off — for 48 hours. Cookie says that Lucious would regret that decision for the rest of his life, but I’m gonna be real with you guys, I don’t think he would regret it at all.

In maybe the most twisted move in a twisted relationship, Lucious asks Hakeem to meet him alone, at night, under a bridge, in the same spot where Lucious killed Bunky. I certainly wouldn’t meet Lucious anywhere, but the hold Lucious has on Hakeem is strong. So Hakeem shows up, only to have Lucious hand him a gun and try to convince Hakeem to kill Lucious before Lucious gets a chance to kill Hakeem. Worst father, or the worst father, am I right?

Hakeem keeps his cool, which is actually showing some personal growth for Hakeem in the middle of the mess he got himself into, and he walks away, saying that he doesn’t have to do what Lucious tells him to do.

All of Lucious’ sons are messed up, but it seems like Hakeem really got the short end of the stick. On top of his own father threatening to kill him, his mother is ready to cast him away and destroy the relationship they worked hard to rebuild the second that Hakeem makes a mistake. In a nice callback to season one, Cookie is waiting for Hakeem to get home, with a broom in her lap, so she can beat him with it the second he comes through the door.

Hakeem is all over the place, one second doing Camilla’s bidding and the next picking a fight with Laura. In spite of being in love with Laura, he’s getting into bed figuratively with Camilla and literally with Laura, even though he thinks it’s a bad idea. Laura, when a boy tells you it’s a bad idea to sleep with you, don’t do it! I’m sorry you lost your virginity to someone who is running a company with his controlling ex and is possibly the father of another ex’s baby. (Wow, Hakeem’s love life is hard to keep track of.)

MAMA DRAMA

Cookie is in peak form this episode. I love that Cookie is not always right and doesn’t always do the right thing. She is messy and sometimes terrible, and I think it’s great that her character is given the room to not be loveable — or even likeable — all the time. When she cast Hakeem away while the family was gathering in the hospital to comfort each other about Rhonda and the baby, it was maybe the coldest Cookie has ever been. It’s too bad that she threw away her relationship with Hakeem, which she was working hard to repair when they worked together at Lyon Dynasty. It also looks like she’s throwing away Lyon Dynasty to get another chance at Empire.

Anika finally makes an appearance in a striking white and beige cape dress thing when she comes to comfort Rhonda in the hospital. We don’t have confirmation, but the show is trying hard to make it look like Anika is the one who pushed Rhonda down the stairs. Maybe she did it so that her baby would be the only baby in the Lyon family? Hopefully her baby will be born healthy and then get as far away from the Lyons as possible, but it never works out like that on Empire, does it?

Cookie crumbs:

• I generally hate miscarriage plots because I find them really upsetting, but we all know a Lyon baby wouldn’t have worked on the show, right? Well, maybe the writers don’t know that because it looks like both Anika and Laura may be pregnant with Hakeem’s baby.
• Becky’s triumphant return to my TV screen came when she burst into Lucious’ office on the tails of Camilla and the cops to tell him Rhonda was in the hospital and possibly dying. That girl does not get paid enough. 
• Cookie is a manipulative master, and I don’t doubt she can take down Camilla. 
• Okay, literally who would vote for Hakeem to be CEO after he walked on top of that table? He does not have his daddy’s gravitas.
• The lighting on this episode was great. When Cookie woke up in Lucious’ bed in her fur coat, she looked like a queen. And Lucious was bathed in red light like the devil he is.
• Subtlety is not one of Empire’s strengths. Every single song was about a crown or a kingdom.

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Empire 2x10 "Et Tu, Brute" (Betrayals) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

"Et Tu, Brute"

Original Airdate: December 2, 2015

So, I missed last week’s review because of Thanksgiving, but I’m back just in time for the midseason finale. Before I dive into this week, here’s what I missed last week when I was eating all the mashed potatoes:

• Cookie discovered a new sister I hadn’t heard of (was she on this show before?) and wore a fantastic muppet coat to a crack house to find her other sister Carol. 
• Carol has a dark secret of betrayal she’s keeping from Cookie, but we don’t know what it is.
• Cookie finally found out her new man is a part of the kidnapping ring that took Hakeem, and he disappeared way too quickly after spending so many episodes on their relationship.
• And most importantly, Alicia Keys' hair color was a perfect shade of purple. Oh, and she and Jamal kissed.

This week was the midseason finale, so this is the last review before the show picks up again in at the end of March. Twists are fun and a large part of why I love Empire, but the most powerful moments of this episode were the quiet ones.

THE BABIES OF THE FAMILY

One of the strongest storylines in a season full of plot twists is Hakeem’s anger at his father. No matter how many ups and downs there are, Hakeem could always be counted on to distrust Lucious. So it came as no surprise that Hakeem would vote against Lucious in a board meeting that set out to remove him as CEO. But the way Empire used flashbacks, dramatic music, and pregnant pauses made it seem like it should be the most dramatic moment in the episode — or season.

Lucious’ pain at losing Empire after sacrificing so much of his life and his soul was much more effective at portraying the gravity of the situation. And even that had an excessive gun — Lucious doesn’t need a gun to be scary, and no one’s life was actually in danger. That moment landed harder than Hakeem’s vote, but it would have landed even better if Empire turned it down a notch and let the characters carry the story alone without drama for the sake of drama.

Speaking of, the camera choices for Rhonda’s fall down the stairs were very in your face. Literally — they were zoomed in on her face as she was falling. It seemed like the shocking camera angles, like the flashbacks and music during the board vote, were a way to indicate that this is a Big Important Moment when the show hadn’t built up enough emotion for those scenes to hit hard enough all on their own. It looks like they are setting up Rhonda and Andre to lose the baby (I hate losing-the-baby storylines). This should be devastating, but it doesn’t have the emotional power it should because it seems like the only person invested in the pregnancy was Rhonda, and only for the attention she got from Lucious. Andre and Rhonda have hardly been allowed to have any time to talk about becoming parents, and the show hasn’t delved much into the interesting contrast between the Lyon’s broken family and starting a new family with a new baby.

It sure looks like Anika pushed Rhonda, and she has been coming over more often (maybe to case their house?), but what does Anika get from this — being the only one in town who is pregnant with a Lyon baby? Right now her motives are unclear, and she is being painted only as a crazy ex.

LOVE IS IN THE AIR, KINDA

Jamal and Skye have a great connection. Their chemistry is obvious, and they make great music together, metaphorically and literally. Their kiss was sweet, and it seems like Jamal could really be into Skye. The show attempted to show Jamal grappling with the idea of being attracted to a woman after he built so much of his public image on being gay, but then their relationship was over as quickly as it started.

Someone else who made a quick entrance is Camilla, who is back after disappearing on Hakeem last season after Lucious offered her money to get out of their lives forever. As Cookie noted, she didn’t take the money, but she still left Hakeem high and dry. Apparently to move on to Mimi, who she is now married to. I assume that after their whirlwind romance, their honeymoon was full of revenge plotting and margaritas.

Mimi turned on Lucious and set him up to be removed as CEO. Since Mimi started her career at Empire by turning on Cookie, this shouldn’t be a surprise to Lucious, but of course it is because he considers himself invincible. Mimi and Camilla’s plan involved manipulating almost every member of the Lyon family, but easily the person most under Camilla’s thumb is Hakeem. Hakeem has been so interesting to watch this season as he came into his own and worked hard to make something from nothing with his mom at Lyon Dynasty. But with Camilla’s influence, he’s ready to throw it all away to punish his father and have another shot at Empire.

All of these twists could set up a killer back half of the season, if Empire doesn’t implode in on itself first. With Hakeem back at Empire, it brings back the tension of all the Lyons fighting for the same thing that was so powerful in season one. But first it needs to keep up the twists while allowing character moments to breathe.

Cookie Crumbs:

• I love that Cookie lives by her own dress code, no matter the occasion. She wore a slinky oil-black dress to a prison and giant pink fur coat to a crack house. 
• Once again, the Pepsi commercial was so effective at being a commercial that I thought it was a real commercial and not part of the show. I am glad this Pepsi storyline is over, and I hope we don’t have as obvious of product placement in the future — all it did was bring the momentum of the episode to a halt.
• That’s all I have folks, what did you think? See you in a few months.

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Empire 2x08 "My Bad Parts" (The Joy of Cola — Sorta) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

"My Bad Parts"

Original Airdate: November 18, 2015

There was a lot going on this week on Empire. Somehow a crazy, desperate pregnant ex-fiancée, a war between Cookie and and Lucious, and a rap battle all fit into the extended Pepsi commercial that was this episode. Let’s take a look at what happened, in order of worst to best.

ANIKA IS PREGNANT

Anika. Girl. Where are your people? Do you have no one in your life who would talk sense into you about routinely hooking up with the son of your sociopathic ex-fiancé? I wanted Anika to be more involved with the story, but this is not the best way to go about it. I do not see a world where Anika actually considers telling Hakeem about this baby. Even if she wanted to keep it — which I doubt, but is possible — I can’t imagine why she would want to keep Hakeem in her life. I also don’t believe for one second she would forget she was pregnant and almost take a drink when she was in his apartment.

Anika used to be a sharp, crafty, powerful woman who was as manipulative and goal-oriented as Lucious and Cookie. Now she is just a crazy ex who is maybe kidnapping Hakeem’s new girlfriend. “Crazy” by itself is not an actual character trait or storyline.

It wasn’t just Anika who seemed unlike herself. It looked to me like all of the women on Empire were suffering from some out-of-character issues. Rhonda was telling Anika how pregnancy had the added bonus of softening up Lucious, but why would Rhonda want Lucious dropping by their house unannounced? In every other episode this season, Rhonda has been sick of the Lyon shenanigans and ready to escape from that family as soon as possible, so it doesn’t make sense that she would be thrilled Lucious is dropping by to chat.

Also, Cookie seemed pretty one-note this episode. Last season, when Cookie was with Malcolm, she was so thoughtful about their relationship and how it proceeded, but that has flown out the window with this new guy. He is in her business meetings and fighting with her son, and I can’t believe she would put up with him for one more second after he pushed Hakeem. And I know she’s mad at Lucious, but it’s not very fun to watch them do nothing but yell and fight. They are better when they work together, even under protest. Thankfully, Jamal is setting up a situation where they work together to produce his album, so hopefully this problem will be resolved soon.

MIMI IS DEALING WITH PERSONAL ISSUES

What’s going on with Mimi? Do you know? Never mind, I don’t think it actually matters. For reasons unknown, Mimi’s personal life is causing issues in Lucious’ plan to acquire a streaming service in a plotline that is largely uninteresting.

PEPSI COMMERCIAL

When they cut to the Pepsi commercial pitch in Empire’s boardroom, it was so convincing that I thought the show had gone to break. Instead, the show is introducing a plotline where Jamal competes to pitch a song that that is featured in Pepsi commercials. It was fun and interesting to watch Jamal put together a song and combine Lucious and Cookie’s music with a bunch of live musicians, and I like the song that he ended up with. But it definitely still felt like a giant Pepsi commercial, which is what it is.

THE RAP BATTLE

The rap battle was quite a production and used some of the music video elements Empire has had fun with this season. But even with all that production and build up, it wasn’t as good as Jamal’s battle with Black Rambo last season, which was much less produced and much more character-focused. Both battles, though, allowed their performers to shine and do what they do best. I can see that Freda is good, and I wasn’t convinced that Hakeem could outshine her in this format. But he took Jamal’s advice and did some songs that played up to the crowd and was able to pull off a win.

Hakeem winning was really the only possible outcome to move the plot in the right direction. Now that Hakeem has won, Cookie gets to keep Hakeem at Dynasty and still help produce Jamal’s record at Empire. This brings the family closer together, which is what needed to happen all along. Still, it was still fun to watch Freda and Hakeem perform, and it was satisfying to see Hakeem say he’s dropping the Lyon name in order to distance himself further from his father. It’s a relief that Hakeem is aware of how terrible his father is and that he won’t let it go.

THAT CONVERSATION BETWEEN JAMAL AND HAKEEM

Any time the brothers can cut through the issues with their family and have quality time together, the show shines. Jamal and Hakeem have a special relationship, and it was great to see their emotional connection — something Empire lacks when it focuses too much on crazy plot developments.

Cookie Crumbs:

• Hakeem, why are you checking your phone when you are kissing your girl? Put that away.
• Hakeem is right a lot of the time, but the rest of the time he is just the worst.
• Once again, everyone should listen to Becky. Lucious has definitely gone too far in this rap battle and should ease up on his sons. Pushing Hakeem farther and farther just isn’t working. Try a different tactic.
• Cookie’s best line: “I missed my spa mani pedi to come and deal with this?”

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Empire 2x07 "True Love Never" (So Much Kissing) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

"True Love Never"

Original Airdate: November 11, 2015

When Hakeem is the most responsible Lyon family member, you know you’re in trouble. Other members of the Lyon clan stayed out too late drinking, participated in blackmail, and unsuccessfully tried to have a threesome. But Hakeem showed up early to work to train his leading lady and participated in some business decisions. Apart from that, though, this was an unfocused and nonsensical episode of Empire, and it was crazy in the kind of way that does not work to Empire’s advantage.

SAD THREESOMES ARE SAD

What was going on with that threesome between April, Mimi, and Lucious? Do all threesomes that are also business meetings always start with someone crying? I would imagine so. I have no idea what is going on with Mimi, and it’s hard to see how it will matter to the bigger picture of Empire. Maybe it’s supposed to be cute that Lucious is acting like he cares about her, but to me it reeks of a guy swooping into a woman’s business because he feels like he’s saving her, whether she wants his help or not. It didn’t seem like Mimi appreciated it, either. April seemed unfazed by the weirdness, but did she even speak at all? April’s character was more like a board game Lucious and Mimi were talking about playing than an actual human being. I can’t imagine it’s fun to begin all of that with someone who has clearly been crying and had to leave the room for a while. So it would have been nice to see more of April’s reactions, even if she was keeping it cool and professional.

SO MUCH KISSING

I love when people make out on TV shows, and this episode had a lot of making out! But if Hakeem and Laura had waited longer and if Empire had more build-up to their romance, it would have felt more earned. Let that tension build, and let them develop a real friendship first, instead of just Hakeem She's All That-ing her — transforming her essentially from a geek in glasses into a hot girl at the prom. Now Laura’s just another girl Hakeem worked with and hooked up with.

Cookie spent three days in bed with her new man, who is so boring I can’t even remember his name and who still may or may not be extorting her. I can’t believe Cookie is taking his questionable advice on working with Hakeem’s kidnappers, but I guess she’s too smitten to think clearly. Hakeem is right; she should be careful.

JAMAL AND COOKIE, TOGETHER AGAIN

One good thing that happened in this episode is Jamal and Cookie reconnecting. Like I said last week, the show works best when the family is together. Jamal needed help with his song, and he’s finally waking up to what Becky knew all along: he needs to work with Cookie. No one else gets him like she does, and no one else is as good as she is. They get punch drunk on their creativity, and then actually drunk on some champagne, and head into Lyon Dynasty for Jamal to record some of his song. This plan was never going to work, and Hakeem almost catches him when he comes into work early — and sober.

There was no way Jamal was going to be able to keep this a secret, and Lucious already knows what’s up as soon as he hears his finished song. As I’ve said before, why does Jamal want to keep working with Lucious when Lucious clearly doesn’t get his music or treat him as an artist worth respecting? Jamal could actually benefit a lot from working with Cookie at Dynasty, and he’s so big right now he could still get a lot of opportunities with a smaller label.

ANDRE DID... SOMETHING

Oh yeah, Andre was in this episode. I miss evil Andre, and it looks like his marriage missed evil Andre, too. Andre was only interested in having sex with Rhonda after he blackmailed the woman he used to bang to get legal favors taken care of. His relationship with his pastor is very underdeveloped, and I’m not that into it. It would be nice if Andre found a father figure with an actual moral compass for once, instead of another guy who is like, “oh no, you can’t have sex with someone who is not your wife even when you’re honest with your wife about it and she is cool with your evil plans — let’s try blackmail instead. Blackmail is fine.”

WHERE'S ANIKA?

No one knows or cares. (Except me. I care.)

NEXT WEEK, ON EMPIRE...

The previews for Empire continue to be some of the best TV each week, and next week looks like it will be much more focused and with much more of the Lyon family in one place as Hakeem rap battles Frida. Let’s hope this is true, anyway.

Cookie Crumbs:

• Cookie at least looked great all episode, as usual. Props to storyline continuity for having her re-wear that jumpsuit after she spent the weekend shacking up.
• It’s always great to see Marisa Tomei as Mimi, but I just wish her character made more sense.

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Empire 2x06 "A High Hope for a Low Heaven" (Post-Traumatic Stress) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

"A High Hope for a Low Heaven"

Original Airdate: November 4, 2015

A lot of TV shows can fall into the trap of forgetting past misdeeds as a way to move on from them, but not Empire. (Okay, sometimes Empire.) Something I’ve really appreciated about the show this season though is that it isn’t ignoring the consequences of its crazy past. Andre has had to face the demons he literally buried when he dug up Vernon’s body, and Hakeem is dealing with the effects of his kidnapping and having a monster like Lucious for a father. Here are seven things I learned from this week’s Empire.

THE LYON FAMILY KEEPS COOL

Yes, Hakeem lost it a little after his kidnapping — who wouldn’t? But as he learned from his parents, who went after his kidnappers in a suit and stilettos, the Lyons keep their heads cool and get stuff done.

When Cookie realized that Hakeem was really in trouble and it wasn’t one of Lucious’ plans, she and Lucious team up to get him back. They don’t even bother to change into more practical kidnapper-catching footwear, which comes in handy when Cookie almost chokes a guy with her five-inch heels. Even amid the panic of worrying about their son, Cookie and Lucious put together a plan and find Hakeem.

Later, Hakeem and Cookie show up to a meeting with his kidnappers to broker a deal. Hakeem isn’t exactly ready for this and is still in the middle of some post-traumatic stress, which leads him to pull a gun on his kidnappers and think hard about pulling the trigger. But Cookie maintained her great reasoning skills and love for her son, and got him to put the gun down — only for her to pick it back up and take over the threatening. Cookie went from concerned mother to fearsome mother in no time at all, and I have to think that Hakeem was taking notes on how to bounce back.

Later on at his performance, Hakeem still showed effects of struggling with his kidnapping, but Laura helped get him to focus, and he was able to put on a great show. Hakeem may not be as collected as Lucious and Cookie, but he is following in their footsteps when it comes to handling crises and accomplishing his goals.

LUCIOUS WINS FATHER OF THE YEAR!...

... Just kidding. Lucious is the worst. The best parenting he has done in weeks was making sure Jamal stayed home while they went after his brother’s kidnappers. Later, Lucious offered a track to Hakeem only to turn around and give it to his new protégé, who he is also trying to manipulate. (Watch out, Frida, or you’ll end up just as messed up as his actual family.) And that’s actually one of the least skeevy things Lucious did in this episode.

The most skeevy thing was using his son’s kidnapping as a way to manipulate Hakeem into rejoining Empire. And didn’t he look disappointed when Hakeem pulled it together on stage, rather than glad his son could get it together for this big opportunity?

HAKEEM DOESN'T FORGET

Hakeem has had enough of Lucious, and he’s not falling for his tricks anymore. Hakeem doesn’t accept Lucious’ track because he knows that with Lucious, there are always strings attached. Having Hakeem not forgive Lucious makes sense because Hakeem is young, good at holding grudges, and is absolutely right about his father. Nothing good can come from Lucious without something worse coming just around the corner. Every word Lucious says to Hakeem is brutal, and I hope that Hakeem doesn’t let him get into his head, just as he hasn’t let him back into his heart.

BECKY CAN GET IT

Becky is getting it on with J Poppa, Gutter Life’s newest artist and Andre’s new place to pin all his hopes and dreams. Becky is adorably smitten, and J Poppa seems like a pretty stand up guy. She deserves nothing less, and if Andre breaks them up or diminishes Becky’s happiness in anyway, I will end him.

It’s great that Becky is getting more of her own story, and I hope that continues. Why not give her her own episode, or even her own show while we are at it?

AND COOKIE CAN GET IT

Cookie and her new security guard getting together wasn’t exactly a shocker, but it was still satisfying to see Cookie showing up at his apartment and asking for sexy times on her terms.

But based on the tattoo on his back, he is definitely involved with the people who snatched Hakeem, and he’s likely just playing Cookie as part of his plan to extort her. Is there anyone in the world who would be good enough for Cookie? Probably not, but I hope she finds someone better than this guy.

ANIKA SHOULD NOT BE GETTING IT

Cheers to Empire for showing people of all ages, body types, and sexual orientations in relationships and hooking up. I ship pretty much everyone all the time (except Michael and Jamal; I’m so glad that’s over), so I’d like to keep seeing more hooking up, please — for everyone except Anika. Anika, girl, what are you doing. I know that your life is falling apart and you’ve lost your man and your job and you’re feeling adrift right now, but the answer is not in Hakeem’s pants. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure if the son of your ex-fiancé shows up on your doorstep with a bloody eye and he tries to kiss you, it’s a giant flashing sign for help, not an actual invitation into his bed. Get it together, leave the teenagers alone, and maybe consider talking to a professional.

I love having Anika around, but her storyline this season has been tenuous at best. Empire needs to figure out a way to get her more connected because keeping her around just to show up when the story needs a random boost is not a strong or smart move.

THE LYONS ARE STRONGER TOGETHER

Andre and Jamal coming together to take care of Hakeem was the strongest part of the episode. The brotherly love between them is so touching and allows them to cut through their parents’ drama and show the real heart of Empire. All of the intense drama in the world would not matter if the relationships on Empire were not at the center. And the more the writers highlight the real love in those relationships, the more the show works. It reminded me of the great elevator scene last season when Jamal and Hakeem helped Andre during a breakdown. Any time the Lyon brothers can band together to overcome their horrible father and fabulous (but still pretty dramatic) mother, it is a victory for them. I cared way more about the boys hugging than I do this new kidnapping gang and extortion plan.

What did you guys think, what was your favorite part –– besides Cookie’s outfit with the yellow skirt and shirt with all the cats?

Cookie Crumbs:

• Andre wants to only sign people at Gutter Life who are quality of character? That’s pretty rich coming from a murderer. He does not seem like he is in the right headspace to be in charge of this new label. I hope he doesn’t tank J Poppa’s career before it even gets off the ground. 
• “You put me in charge.” “No, I put you in place.”
• I’m a little surprised at how much I’m warming up to Hakeem after he was basically the worst last season. It’s been nice to see more of his heart and emotional life, even if he is still sometimes a brat. 
• Jamal, are you sure that you want Lucious producing you when he only sees you as a “gay artist”? 
• The contrast of the close, dark shot of Jamal’s kidnappers before cutting to Lucious and Cookie standing in the bright light outside was great. Lucious and Cookie may be standing in the sun at this moment, but that doesn’t mean they always act in ways that should be seen in the light of day.
• Isn’t it kind of messed up that Cookie sees her son with duct tape on his mouth and she thinks it’s Lucious?

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Empire 2x05 "Be True" (Back Into the Lyon’s Den) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

"Be True"

Original Airdate: October 21, 2015

The Lyon family is focusing on moving on and forcing their sins into the light. Andre is getting baptized and he is ready to confess his sins to his family and ask for their forgiveness. But Andre’s confessions served another purpose, as well: they gave context to the Lyon family and showed that even though they tend to move at a soap opera’s pace, they also haven’t forgotten the sins of the past.

Andre’s tense baptism was reminiscent of the baptism scene in The Godfather — and we all know what happened there. (And for those who don’t know, like, everyone dies.) But somehow he got his family together all in once place and — so far — everyone is still alive. Let’s check in on what they were doing before they sat down in that church and prepared for lightning to strike.

ANDRE'S BACK, BACK AGAIN

After digging up Vernon’s body last week and letting the devil known as Lucious Lyon in on his worst secret, Andre is welcomed back at Empire with strippers and a lap dance. Which, if you ask me, is not how Andre wanted to celebrate his homecoming.

Now that Andre is back at Empire, he seems much more like his old self, only without all the manipulation. Only a stone cold, confident Andre would be able to shut down Thirsty like he did, and it seems like Andre’s really taking his faith to heart and wants to make his family whole. But he’s also working with Lucious again, whose first order of business was to steal tracks from Cookie and Hakeem, so it doesn’t seem likely that Andre will be able to keep his hands clean while he’s at Empire.

A pole dance in the middle of the conference room wasn’t even the most surprising thing at Empire this week. It was that Lucious actually followed through on what he told Jamal and is producing him. Not surprisingly, Ne-Yo gave better advice to Jamal than Lucious did, but it was nice to see Lucious actually doing work at the company he is running.

“YOU CAN REALLY BLOW”

We were so close to Jamal and Michael breaking up after Jamal caught him messing around with the artist of Jamal’s painting, but doesn’t it seem like Jamal will forgive Michael? That’s fair, I think, since it was Jamal’s waffling that led Michael to melt down. But if Jamal is going to be so wishy-washy about wanting Michael around, maybe Michael should leave. That artist is super skeezy (like, suuuuuuuuper skeezy), and it’s probably a bad plan to break up the couple he’s depending on for business. I don’t think there’s any way Michael would want to buy that painting now.

Tiana is impressed with Laura and heard from Jamal that she "can really blow." After Laura’s stunned face, Tiana cleared up that she meant sing, and that she has great pipes. But Laura’s eyes were opened to Hakeem’s womanizing ways, and she is not remotely about that lifestyle. I respect Laura for standing up for herself and walking away, and shame on Hakeem for hitting on every woman he works with. Luckily, Hakeem got Laura back on his team and promised he would help her career and be a professional about it. Even though he just promised to keep his hands off her, I smell a love in the air for these two.

Rhonda tried to get Andre’s hands on her in his office at Empire, but he said he wasn’t feeling it. Rhonda and Andre started Empire as a ruthless, calculating team who would do whatever it took to get to the top, but their relationship is so much deeper than it first seemed. They really love each other, and Rhonda has shown she will support Andre whether he’s digging up a body or getting baptized. They’ve been through so much — some of it has been pretty twisted — and I actually like them a lot as a couple. The thing that separates them from the rest of the Lyon clan is that they have no secrets from each other, even when they do terrible things.

A NEW SECURITY SYSTEM

Portia’s back after she brought a dog to Dynasty to act as its new security system. Somehow, the dog was a better security system than the human promoter Cookie hired who said he wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty (lucky for Cookie).

Apparently, Cookie and her team have been marked for extortion because of her association with Lucious and the assumption that, as his ex-wife, she’d have a lot of money as well. Of course, Cookie knows what’s going on and says she’ll handle it. Unfortunately, they have kidnapped Hakeem and it seems like all of the Lyons will be in over their heads next week when they try to get him back.

Cookie Crumbs:

• Becky, as always, is adorable and kind and funny and the best. How cute was she on Jamal’s couch after the party?
• Rhonda is so over this family. Her reaction faces to the Lyons’ antics are top notch. Is it just me, or is Rhonda wearing a lot of high-waisted clothing for someone who is pregnant? I’ve never been pregnant, so I don’t know, but it seems uncomfortable?
• The video from the people who stole Tiana’s purse seemed very similar to the masked videos in Mr. Robot. Only instead of social justice, these criminals just want money. And Hakeem.
• Andre seems pretty close with the reverend at his church, who knew about Lucious’ mind games with Michelle, Andre’s music therapist. I wish their relationship had been established before now because it seemed to come out of nowhere in an episode that was otherwise grounded in the past. 
• Where’s Anika?
• Cookie’s best line: “Let me make space in case lightning strikes.”

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Empire 2x04 "Poor Yorick" (Spinning Wheels) [Contributor: Rae Nudson]

"Poor Yorick"

Original Airdate: Oct. 14, 2015

Much like the Feds, the Lyon clan spent a lot of time digging around and coming up with nothing in this episode. Andre and Rhonda were digging for Vernon’s body, Anika was trying to find her way back to Dynasty, and Cookie was searching for a story she could tell the DA. Somehow, even with dead bodies, arrests, and a stabbing (of a painting), this episode felt more like treading water than going anywhere.

JEALOUSY REARS ITS UGLY HEAD

Hakeem and Jamal have agreed to come together for a mutually beneficial music video — Jamal needs Hakeem’s verse and Hakeem needs to get heard while his dad keeps him off the radio. Cookie comes to Lucious to make the deal, and Lucious agrees to the video and to stop poaching clients, but not to allow Hakeem back on the air.

By the end of the shoot, the Lyon brothers are more explosive than the literal fires on the set. Hakeem sees Jamal get everything that Hakeem walked away from — their father’s support, Empire’s resources, a Rolling Stone interview — and Hakeem gets fed up with it. While everyone is admiring a new painting of Jamal, Hakeem stabs the painting with scissors. (I gasped so loud at this my boyfriend thought someone on the show had died.)

Jamal and Hakeem have gotten into fights before, but I much prefer them working together. They’ve always had a special relationship, and they used to try to keep Lucious from tearing them apart. Lucious doesn’t have to do too much to rip them apart right now, though; Hakeem is doing that all on his own.

Hakeem isn’t the only one who is unhappy with the attention Jamal is getting. Jamal’s boyfriend Michael has nothing to do except look sad and dejected in the background while the artist doing Jamal’s portrait creeps on Jamal continuously. I wish Michael had more to do because I don’t think their relationship is interesting enough right now to raise the stakes for either of them. If Michael left or if Jamal cheated, I’d be way more interested in Jamal with someone new than in what happens to Michael. Sorry, Michael, I’m just not that into you.

COMING UP EMPTY

Andre decides that the only way back into Empire is to make the case against his father go away, and that the only way to do that is to make sure the DA knows its key witness is dead and won’t be available to testify. So he and Rhonda (who is ride or die, baby) do their best impression of criminals and wear all black to go dig up the body of the guy they killed. But they forget exactly which tree they buried him under. You’d think they would have checked at the time for any other distinctive markers and realized that every tree in that clearing has the exact same hole in it, but I guess it was a stressful time.

Lucious is suspicious of Andre’s behavior (and, really, everyone should be at this point), so he has Thirsty put a tracker on his car. Andre and Rhonda think they’ve been caught when Lucious and Thirsty pull up, but really Lucious and Thirsty are there to provide a basic corpse-detection system. After Andre and Rhonda spend all night finding nothing, Thirsty’s device (what is it, exactly?), helps them find what they are looking for. It is also Thirsty’s expertise, I assume, that helps them get Vernon’s corpse into the DA’s car.

Rhonda and Andre are expert manipulators, but they seem to be pretty sub-par murderers. Lucious — father of the year that he is — tells Andre that he’s proud of him, and that Andre saved his life by killing his uncle. All of this criminal activity has Andre turning closer to god, and it looks like next week will focus on his baptism. It also has him turning closer Lucious, who may be the devil himself.

Anika is also spinning her wheels and waiting for someone to let her back in. I want so badly for her to team up with Cookie, but Cookie still doesn’t trust her. After sending Anika on an errand for Dynasty, Cookie tells her that it won’t be enough to get her back on board. I’m not sure what Anika’s next move will be, but I hope it’s not back to Empire. If it is though, at least it would get her more in the game.

The DA Roxanne Ford is looking for dropped bodies, but she’s looking with search warrants instead of shovels. She is turning over everything she can to try to find something on the Lyon family, and that includes threatening Cookie with physically harming her sons. That’s cold. She cooks up a scheme to arrest Cookie to try to pressure her into snitching on Lucious, but Cookie comes up with a plan instead that will kill Lucious’ radio deal and let Cookie off the hook.

Roxanne must really be desperate to believe Cookie and get the FCC involved without checking up on anything. I don’t see how this will make Cookie look like less of a snitch, unless they prove later that Cookie lied to the DA, which would get Cookie in more trouble, I assume. But I probably shouldn’t waste my time with logic on Empire, which is much more about grand gestures than details. After searching Empire, Dynasty, the Lyon’s home and Cookie’s brain, the only thing that Roxanne finds is Vernon’s body, thoughtfully left for her in the front seat of her car.

Cookie Crumbs:

• The title of the episode is “Poor Yorick,” which is a reference to Hamlet. A gravedigger in Hamlet finds the skull of the old court jester, Yorick. Empire’s themes of guilt, family, and what it takes to be successful are very Shakespearean — plus, you know, they literally dug up a body. 
• The scene of Cookie sitting in custody all alone and framed by the window as if she were in a jail cell was stunning.
• This episode gave up all pretenses and actually worked making a music video into the plot.
• Cookie’s best line: “You need to kill yourself and that wack weave you got up top your head.”

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