“I’m on My Own Path”
Original Airdate: October 26, 2018
You know how there are those people who are always looking for signs? The ones who think that the television commercial is speaking directly to them. The ones who live their lives by fortunes from Chinese restaurant cookies. The ones who would pick up their lives and move across the country because a butter ad made them question their life choices.
Rebecca Bunch has an on-again, off-again relationship with signs. In “I’m on My Own Path” we actually see more of this, and what happens when Rebecca’s fear kicks in. Last week, we watched as Rebecca deflected her anxiety and locked herself in her home. This week, Rebecca might be physically freed from her chamber of fears, but that doesn’t mean she’s escaped their emotional hold on her life.
Of course, because this is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, we get most of the existential plot through soft pretzels.
SALTY OR SWEET
Rebecca doesn’t know whether or not she’ll be reinstated as a lawyer. While she waits for the results, she begins to fret. Sure, she’s really good at law. But is that what she’s supposed to be doing with her life? Should she just keep cycling through the motions? What path does she need to actually be taking?
A high-profile client spends the episode relying on Rebecca’s legal expertise and manipulation of loopholes — she only trusts Rebecca to be her attorney. Afraid of her future and her identity, Rebecca decides to take a job at the pretzel shop in the lobby of the firm. Paula appropriately freaks out when her best friend decides to just start working at a pretzel shop instead of practice law. But Rebecca is hiding something from Paula — she’s already received her confirmation or rejection from the California Bar. She just can’t bring herself to open the letter.
I think what Rebecca struggles with is something we all do, to an extent. While her indecision is played for laughs and definitely heightened (how many people do you know who make decisions based on soft pretzels or butter ads?), we all struggle with the decisions we have to make. Do we take fate into our own hands, or do we let the current sweep us in whatever direction we don’t fight against? Do we live our lives the way we really want to, or do we just let life happen to us? For so long, Rebecca chose law because it was just something she felt like she was supposed to do. She’s good at it. She makes money. That’s what happiness looks like, right? Falling into the boxes that naturally fit us.
At this point in her journey though, Rebecca wants more. She doesn’t just want to exist; she wants to actually make conscious decisions. She wants to be doing things she feels passionate about — even if no one else understands it. So at the end of the episode, Rebecca purchases the pretzel shop. We don’t know if it’ll fail or succeed. But all Rebecca knows is that this is what actually feels meaningful to her. She is choosing to live a meaningful life, even if it’s not the easy or logical choice. I can admire that.
Meanwhile, Heather and Hector decide to get married, mostly so that Hector can be on Heather’s insurance and get a gross gash in his toe fixed. Their short courthouse ceremony is so sweet and genuine. Major kudos to Vella Lovell and Erick Lopez for making me fall in love with these two and their story. Hector, of course, is the one who wants a wedding while Heather balks at the idea of anything traditional.
It’s Valencia — my how she’s grown in so many ways — who points out that Heather doesn’t want a wedding but Hector does; he’s sacrificing for her but she’s not willing to budge even a little bit for him. Marriage and relationships in general are two-way streets. Heather recognizes that because she loves Hector, she will have a wedding. If it was just up to her, she wouldn’t; but it’s not up to her anymore. They’re doing life together.
And it’s such a beautiful little ceremony that left me misty-eyed. Love really is at the core of this show — in expected and unexpected ways.
Additional quotes and such:
- “Nathaniel’s just stomping around like a sad, handsome baby.”
- Speaking of Nathaniel... apparently he loves Rebecca. I don’t know how I feel about this yet. Come back to me later.
- I absolutely love the song about not being a lawyer and immediately wanted to send it to all of my lawyer friends.
- There’s a whole sub-plot this week where Josh wants to get back in the dating game, but no one he goes on a date with actually takes him seriously. He wants a relationship, but all they want is something superficial. I still don’t care for Josh stories (they feel so far removed from the real plot and issues of the series), but this one wasn’t terrible because it set up some nice scenes between Josh and Rebecca.
- “I dressed as you for Halloween.” “Really? What did you wear?” “Some white girl crap.” “... That tracks.”
- “In summation: loop there it is.”
- “Twisted Fate” was such a fun song.
- As someone who watched Emma Approved back in the day, I appreciated seeing Joanna Sotomura in this episode!
- I absolutely love Hector/Heather, have I said that lately?
- I miss White Josh, always and forever.
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