“Captain Latvia”
Original Airdate: December 13, 2016
In the latest episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Boyle enlists Jake’s help to track down a “Captain Latvia” action figure for Boyle’s adopted son, Nikolaj. This will be Nikolaj’s first Christmas ever since the orphanage he came from kept cancelling Christmas (first due to blizzards, then fire, then famine). Boyle has promised Nikolaj a Captain Latvia action figure. Apparently, Captain Latvia, whose superpower is the ability to talk to opossums, is a really big deal in Latvia, but nearly impossible to find in America (go figure). Boyle ordered one from a Latvian toy store a month ago but it still hasn’t arrived. If he can’t find another one, Christmas will be ruined.
Meanwhile, the rest of the squad is preparing for their annual caroling competition against the Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA). The MTA pays a visit to the precinct just to taunt them with their fabulousness, and it gets Holt all riled up. He’s determined to finally beat them this year. Only one problem: the Nine-Nine can’t sing. As they’re practicing in the backroom, sounding terrible, they suddenly hear a beautiful voice coming from the bullpen. When they rush out to investigate, they discover the voice belongs to a criminal in holding. A drunk criminal.
Despite Terry’s misgivings, the rest of the team decides to let the criminal sing with them. He’s their only hope if they want to beat the MTA. When they get to the concert, they all walk out on stage, but the drunk guy says there are too many people and runs off. With no other options, Holt says there’s been a police emergency: a bomb somewhere in the city! They rush off the stage, but the MTA confronts them backstage and taunts them again, telling them the only bomb in the city is their performance.
While the MTA takes the stage, the Nine-Nine tries to figure out what to do. Do they leave the competition in shame or do they sing their hearts out and hope for the best? Fortunately, Amy’s come up with a third option: while the rest of the team is arguing, she goes out and gets the drunk guy drunk again. Now he’s ready to go!
They head out to sing "Joy to the World," which goes great for about 30 seconds until the drunk guy tells the audience to eat his farts and that New York City sucks. Apparently he’s from Hoboken, New Jersey. He then falls off the stage.
Jake and Boyle are busy tracking down leads about Boyle’s missing Captain Latvia. The store he ordered it from is in Queens and when they stop by, the store manager tells them that the Latvian mob uses their store to smuggle in guns and drugs and sometimes other packages get lost in the shuffle. If Boyle wants to find his missing superhero action figure, he’s going to have to track down the mob.
They discover a nightclub owned by the mob and Boyle uses his questionably sexy dance moves to lift the key to the backroom off the female owner. When they sneak into the room, they find a tablet and an unhappy security guard. Boyle busts out some moves with his nightstick and takes down the guard and snags the tablet. Boyle, who’s clearly on a role, guesses the password to the tablet and they use it to track down their next lead.
The tablet leads them to an abandoned warehouse. Jake wants to wait for backup before entering the building but Boyle is all fired up and wants to go it alone. He’s parked so close to two other cars, however, that he’s having trouble wriggling out from between them. He finally manages to get out by wriggling out of his pants and then runs off in just his boxers. Jake, who is also stuck, finally manages to wriggle out as well and catches up to Boyle. He then successfully knocks Boyle out and calls for backup.
After a heart-to-heart — Jake’s been killing it with the pep talks lately — he convinces Boyle that Nikolaj will be okay without Captain Latvia, and that Boyle needs to just go home and be with his family on Christmas. After all, the most important part of Christmas isn’t the toys, it’s the time with family.
The rest of the team is commiserating at the bar after losing the caroling competition yet again to the MTA. Scully tries to tell them that the spirit of the season isn’t competition, and caroling is about making people happy, not about who is best. They all disagree with him, preferring to continue moping, so he leaves to carol on his own.
Jake stops by Boyle’s apartment later to tell him how the raid went. They managed to take down the Latvian mob and he even found Captain Latvia. Unfortunately, the action figure was terribly burned and completely destroyed. But Jake’s brought a different present for Boyle to give to Nikolaj: a policeman action figure. Nikolaj loves his “Captain Papa” action figure that reminds him of his adopted daddy, Boyle.
Just then, they hear someone singing outside. It’s Scully! He’s come to carol in front of Boyle’s apartment building. Jake asks why Scully’s caroling solo but before he can answer, the rest of the team shows up to join him. They really are terrible singers, but as Scully said, it’s the spirit of the season that matters most.
Bullets on the Bulletin Board:
- “We made Daddy Latvian Christmas cookies! Want one?” “You bet I do!” “The potato really brings out the vinegar.” “Neither of those are cookie things.”
- “I assume you’ve crawled out of your rat tunnels to taunt us about tonight’s charity caroling competition.”
- “Hitchcock, there’s no rapping. You grossly misread the situation.”
- “The guy’s a criminal!” “Barely. It was public intoxication. All he did was pee on a couple snowmen. And one regular man.”
- “I’m not going to use words with Svetlana.” “Don’t say you’re going to use your musk.” “I’m going to use my musk!”
- “Charles! That was a yellow light!” “I proceeded with caution.”
0 comments:
Post a Comment