“Paranoia”
Original Airdate: March 29, 2016
Rosa gets engaged, Terry disapproves, and someone leaves the Nine-Nine (hopefully forever) in the latest episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Let’s discuss!
Rosa and Adrian Pimento come back from a drug bust and announce to the team that they got engaged (while in pursuit of the bad guy), and they’re getting married next week. Everyone’s a little taken aback, considering Pimento joined the team just a couple months ago, him and Rosa have been dating for about five seconds, and well, he’s really unstable. The team decides to take the high road and wish them well, despite the suddenness of it all. Terry’s the only one who voices his reservations, and he voices them loudly.
Rosa admits to Jake that she really cares about having Terry’s approval and requests that Jake try to get Terry to see reason and give Pimento a shot. When Pimento asks Jake to be his best man, this gives Jake the perfect opportunity to plan an awesome bachelor party where Terry will be forced to interact with Pimento and see he’s really not that bad. Except, he really is that bad.
As it turns out, Jake is surprisingly good at planning bachelor parties. He rents a party bus, books reservations at a swanky steakhouse, and gets a DVD of American Beauty to watch at midnight (this was Pimento’s only request). I had expected more panic or problems from Jake, but nope! It sounds like he thought of everything.
Meanwhile, Rosa has asked Charles, Gina, and Amy to all serve as her maids of honor. Charles and Amy are beyond excited, while Gina is just... Gina. They set to work planning her bachelorette party but cannot agree on what to do. They all have different visions on the type of bachelorette party that would be best-suited for Rosa. When they start fighting about who has the best idea, Rosa steps in and says they should do all three parties and then she’ll pick a winner at the end. Problem solved.
Despite Jake’s great planning, the bachelor party gets off to a rocky start when Pimento pulls the party bus driver out and jumps into the driver’s seat, flooring it, and exclaiming that someone is trying to kill him. When Jake can finally get Pimento calmed down, Pimento tells them he’s noticed a guy following him for two days and is sure this is an assassin sent to kill him. Terry’s opinion of Pimento is not getting any higher.
While Jake and the boys agree to help Pimento find this alleged assassin, Charles and the ladies head out to the first bachelorette party, planned by Gina. She informs them they will be attending her nephew’s thirteenth birthday party. Just as everyone starts complaining about what a terrible idea this is, Gina explains that it’s a paintball party and they will be on the opposing team, shooting the teens with paintballs. Suddenly, it’s a fantastic idea.
Pimento leads the boys to an abandoned building, convinced this is where the assassin has been staying. There’s no sign that it’s anything more than an empty warehouse though, and so the guys head over to the steakhouse, hoping to put Pimento’s paranoia behind them.
As the boys sit down to a nice meal, Amy is initiating her bachelorette party for Rosa. It’s a drinking game. Every question is about Rosa, and since none of them know anything about Rosa, they all get really drunk, really fast.
The juxtaposition between the men being all gentlemanly in a fancy restaurant while the girls and Charles get wasted is pretty fantastic. While the men toast each other, the assassin approaches, disguised as a waiter. Pimento recognizes him and takes him down. Terry freaks out, not convinced this guy is actually an assassin, but when Jake searches him, it turns out he has a picture of Pimento and a gun on him.
Jake interrogates him and finds out that the assassin has no idea who hired him. He’s just supposed to do the job, text a photo of Pimento’s dead body and then show up at a meet to get paid. Since the mystery man who wants Pimento dead has never actually seen the assassin he hired, Jake decides the best plan is to stage Pimento’s murder then go to the meet himself. Terry agrees and Hitchcock and Scully are just along for the ride, as usual.
While Jake puts this plan into action, Charles reveals his bachelorette party to the ladies: he’s taking them to a restaurant that only serves small intestines. But just when you think this is going to be one of the weird restaurants only Boyle would like, he reveals that the place was actually shut down and is scheduled to be demolished. So, they’re not going there to eat; they’re going there to break everything. Everyone agrees Boyle’s party is by far the best.
The ladies throw plates, break glasses, and hammer through walls, while the boys get Pimento good and dead looking with ketchup and Spaghetti-O’s (for fake brains, naturally). The guy who put a hit out on Pimento is somehow convinced by the photo but also requests that Jake cut out Pimento’s tongue and bring it to the meet. Fortunately, Jake simply texts Charles inquiring about the best place to find tongues in the middle of the night and Charles sends back a top ten list. Easy enough.
Jake meets up with the bad guy, who’s wearing the exact same ski mask as him. The meet goes off perfectly, and they find out that it’s a guy named Jimmy Figgis who wants Pimento dead. Pimento worked for Figgis while he was undercover. They follow the guy from the meet and he leads them straight to the FBI. Apparently, Figgis has an FBI agent on his payroll.
Since the bad guys think Pimento is dead, and the bad guys also have a man on the inside, Pimento decides the only thing to do is go on the run. Jake tells Rosa the next day about what happened and takes her for a walk where a disguised Pimento says goodbye to her for the last time.
Back at the station, Holt tasks the team with tracking down Figgis and his man on the inside. Even Terry has begrudgingly come around and agrees that helping Pimento get back on the team and back to Rosa is the right thing to do. All they have to go on is a scar Jake noticed on the FBI guy’s hand. It’s not much but it’s a start.
This was a fun episode with the bachelor vs. bachelorette parties. I loved that Rosa called dibs on Charles and the competition for who could throw the best bachelorette party was just hilarious. I also loved that Jake was the super organized, responsible, and reasonable one for once throughout this whole episode.
Though the episode itself was fun, personally, I have not been a fan of Pimento and I’d love for him to stay gone. He’s creepy and weird and I don’t like this whole awkward love story they’re trying to force between him and Rosa. I find him a truly terrible and unfunny character and I think the show will be better without him. I guess we’ll just have to see where they take this storyline.
Bullets on the Bulletin Board:
- “Jake, I order you to throw out that gingerbread house. It’s from Christmas!” “Fine. But you’re going to be leaving a lot of ants with no home.”
- “Count me in as long as I get eight plus ones.”
- “He’s getting saner by the minute. In a month he’ll basically just be Fraser.” “Don’t use Fraser’s name in vain.”
- “Now before I tell you my idea, are you allergic to dolphins?”
- “May the best maid win.”
- “Look, we’re all on your side here, Pimento. We all want to believe you’re about to be murdered.” I’ve never agreed with Jake more.
- “Guys, I really don’t want to hold this tongue much longer. It’s weirdly heavy.”
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