Friday, September 18, 2015

Chelsea's Super-Scientific Emmy Winner Predictions [Contributor: Chelsea]

Another year has gone by and I have managed to watch fewer and fewer of the nominees. Unlike the Oscars, the Emmys are extremely unpredictable. The past five years have seen big wins for Modern Family and a medley of love in the Outstanding Drama series fields. With Breaking Bad gone, Mad Men making its final award show lap, and a host of great Netflix and Amazon Prime nominees, the winners circle is wide open for the nominees. Here is my super-scientific and 100% accurate predictions for who should and will take home the gold.

Better Call Saul
Downton Abbey
Game of Thrones
House of Cards
Mad Men
Orange is the New Black

Should Win: Orange is the New Black
Will Win: Orange is the New Black or Game of Thrones

Only watching two of these nominated shows, I really have no idea who should win. My heart tells me that Orange is the New Black will get it after its egregious loss in the comedy category last year but Game of Thrones might be overdue for a win (though I do not think it should be awarded). Voters might shock us though and give it to Mad Men as a goodbye present.

Modern Family
Parks and Recreation
Silicon Valley
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Should Win: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Will Win: Modern Family

I only say Modern Family will win because I don’t want to get my hopes up for anything else. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt had one of the best first seasons ever as a series on Netflix, with its instantly iconic characters and catchy lines and theme song. Veep is overdue for a win, with its departing showrunner Armando Iannucci serving its strongest season yet. I will never say no to Parks and Recreation taking home the gold even though it was more comforting than funny in its last season. Keep an eye out on Golden Globe winner Transparent, too in this category.

Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
Kyle Chandler, Bloodline
Kevin Spacey, House of Cards
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

Should Win: Jon Hamm
Will Win: Kevin Spacey

True story: I don’t watch any of these shows. I know all these actors are great but I really do not care about this category. I’m basing this on who I like the most as an actor and who deserve a shiny new toy.

Taraji P. Henson, Empire
Claire Danes, Homeland
Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Robin Wright, House of Cards

Should Win: Tatiana Maslany
Will Win: Tatiana Maslany

If the voters actually watch the reels they are given, then Maslany won’t have any trouble taking this home this award. There really is no other option at this point.

Anthony Anderson, black-ish
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Will Forte, The Last Man On Earth
Louis C.K., Louie
William H. Macy, Shameless
Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Should Win: William H. Macy
Will Win: Jeffrey Tambor

William H. Macy plays the worst human being on TV, but does it with such charm and finesse that you can’t help but want to see more of his terrible deeds. Even with my reservations about the show, Tambor was quite great in Transparent and honestly, I would never be sad to see Papa Bluth win an award.

Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback
Lily Tomlin, Grace And Frankie
Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler, Parks And Recreation
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Should Win: Any and all of the above
Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus or Amy Schumer

Even with all of the amazing women who were sadly excluded from this category, this set of nominees is just so so good. Amy Schumer has had a remarkable year in television and film. Not only are her sketches hilarious, but they also shed light on rape culture, feminism, ageism, and so many other issues that people need to talk about. Dreyfus is the reigning queen of this category (and also my heart). I will never say she’s undeserving of winning this award because Selina Meyer is a national treasure. I’m afraid that Amy Poehler will join the tragic losers club alongside Steve Carell. Obviously, humanity does not deserve Amy Poehler.

Drunk History
Inside Amy Schumer
Key & Peele
Saturday Night Live

Should Win: Inside Amy Schumer
Will Win: Inside Amy Schumer

This might actually be the best category of the whole ceremony. This is what happens in a perfect awards world.

Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul
Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline
Jim Carter, Downton Abbey
Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones
Alan Cumming, The Good Wife
Michael Kelly, House of Cards

Should Win: Alan Cumming
Will Win: Jonathan Banks

Much like the Lead Actor - Drama category, I don’t watch any of these guys... except the always great Alan Cumming. Honestly, I don’t have a lot of reason for my prediction for this one.

Joanne Froggatt, Downton Abbey
Lena Headey, Game Of Thrones
Emilia Clarke, Game Of Thrones
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Uzo Aduba, Orange Is The New Black

Should Win: Uzo Aduba or Christine Baranski
Will Win: Lena Headey

I truly have no idea what will happen in this category. I do love all the nominees though. It’s a shame that Christine Baranski is always nominated for The Good Wife and has never won. Aduba continues to be a highlight on a show full of beautiful and rich characters. I have a feeling Headey’s polarizing scene will give her the edge though.

Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Adam Driver, Girls
Keegan-Michael Key, Key & Peele
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Tony Hale, Veep

Should Win: Tituss Burgess
Will Win: Tituss Burgess

PINOT NOIR! CAVIAR! MYANMAR! MID-SIZED CAR! Like Tatiana Maslany, if the voters actually watch the reals and see my beautiful Tituss, he won’t have any problem winning this category. Tony Hale or Keegan-Michael Key could win too and I’d be fine, BUT TITUSS!

Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory
Niecy Nash, Getting On
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Allison Janney, Mom
Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live
Gaby Hoffmann, Transparent
Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Anna Chlumsky, Veep

Should Win: Kate McKinnon or Anna Chlumsky
Will Win: Allison Janney

The only person with more Emmys than reigning champ Allison Janney is the TV Academy itself. With her show, Mom, having such a strong second season and Janney just being herself, I don’t find it hard to believe that she will take another one of these awards. I would DIE if Kate McKinnon or Anna Chlumsky took this one home though. McKinnon is the reason to watch SNL and Chlumsky’s breakdown is one of the highlights of the past year in TV. Really all of the nominees are amazing and I’m sure somebody wonderful will take it home.

So there are obviously my 100% accurate and foolproof predictions for this year's Emmys. Join me Sunday, September 20th to see just how much like That’s So Raven I really am. I’ll probably be tweeting the awards on the Just About Write Twitter feed and seeing how long it takes to put me in Twitter jail and/or live-blogging the awards here.

Happy inevitable use of the "burn Utica to the ground" GIF everyone!

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